Monday, June 24, 2013

here's another one for the book....

An employee came into the office today and was talking to me. After a few minutes, she said, "Did you color your hair?"

And I said, "No".

She said, "Then why is it darker in the front than it is in the back?"

I said, "Because that's the way I colored it...SIX MONTHS AGO."

She said, "I don't know. I don't look at your hair."

Yes, because it's sooooooooooooo cleverly hidden on TOP OF MY HEAD.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

damn right it's better than yours

So I went to Lowe's this morning (aka The Scariest Place on Earth) and bought this handy dandy little toy...........

My husband feeds the birds, and while he does get peanuts for the squirrels, the blue jays have a tendency to swipe them. I haven't seen many squirrels in the yard lately--we used to have tons of them--so I figured this squirrel KOB  bungee feeder might lure them back. You know, it's the milkshake that brings all the squirrels to my yard...so to speak. 

I was reading the instructions and at the end it says "add a dab of peanut butter to entice feeding".

Seriously?

Squirrels are so damn lackadaisical about feeding that I now have to "entice" them to eat?!

I just made a special trip to The Scariest Place on Earth (ON FREAKING FATHER'S DAY where were grown men drooling over grills right out in front of the damn store!) and shelled out $15 to buy YOU squirrels a bungee, another big hunk of corn mix and a bag of corn cobs but nooooooooooooooooo, that's not good enough for you. I now have to freaking BEG you to  eat my food!

Fuck that shit, squirrels!

Raccoons, allow me to introduce you to my raccoon KOB bungee and corn cob cake feeder mix....