Friday, December 20, 2013

sure i loves me some Flo Rida but

I also LOVE this sort of 40's style music....

Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy and Mr. Sandman are GREAT songs!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

holy hell

Jill Faren Phelps fired Michael Muhney from the Young and the Restless. I've watched that show for what seems (and FEELS) like forever and Phelps has single-handedly managed to turn me off of it. I'll watch until Michael's stint is over than the JFP can kiss my rosey red ass.

She keeps that fossil Eric Braeden, who can't act worth shit anymore. He's been phoning his scenes in since the 90's and yet she shitcans the one person on the show who brings it each and every time.

Although, on the upside, getting fired is probably the best thing that could happen to Michael because he's way too talented to be wasting his time on JFP's piece o'crap.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

weekend update

I had a GREAT weekend. I stayed inside Fri evening and all day Sat as Mother Nature saw fit to blanket us with about six inches. (And I don't mean the good kind;)

Today I took a good hour walk and got the stink blowed off, as Grandma used to say, and it felt refreshing to be outside. I'm guessing this was due to the snow blowing in my face.

After supper, Mr. G and I took Holly out for a stroll--more like a "walk two feet, sit, walk two feet, sit"--as Grandma H isn't exactly the liveliest at 10 years old. Mr. G said, "Maybe she's in pain and isn't feeling well." So I said, "Okay, let's go back to the car," and the bum got right up and didn't miss a step until we got to the car!

I can feel the arthritis in Holly's hips, though,  every time I help her up the stairs. I remember when we first got her. She'd race up and down the stairs, and I'd yell, "Holly! Stop skipping steps! You're gonna break a leg!" She'd jump to the 1st floor landing from about the third or fourth step up. Now it's so sad to see her needing help with every step. She was all cuddled up in bed with me this morning and I watched the snow falling outside and wondered how many more mornings like that we'd have together. Guess I gotta appreciate what I have while I have it:)

Sunday, December 08, 2013

Here she is!!

My beautiful Christmas tree that took me $100 in ornament and four hours to decorate!!

Hey, I'm a firm believer in PROPER placement of ornaments....

Don't be jealous, haters~!

Saturday, December 07, 2013

i LOVE the internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sure ppl will argue that you can find intructions on how to kill ppl and make bombs, BUT you can also find the instructions for putting together a 6.5 Douglar Fir color coded tree from WalMart that ya bought eight years ago and left to rot in the attic......thank you ppl of the internet!!!!

That's right, folks, for the first time in YEARS Goddess is slapping up a Christmas tree that's bigger than Charlie Brown's tree. And why, you ask? Because I have many things to be grateful for: my family, my job, my health...

Wait a minute. If I'm grateful I should be stuffing my face with mashed potatoes, gravy and turkey not slapping up a damn tree that the cat is already eyeballing for destruction!

Friday, December 06, 2013

bug spray anyone?

Gawd, I feel like it's been forever since I've posted. Oh yeah, that's cuz it HAS been.

The other day an employee came into the office and asked me if I could help him sign up for Obama Care (yeah, as IF he cares...) because his computer skills were zilch. Even though I was incredibly busy checking out my email, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest accounts, I agreed to help out my fellow man. Hey, it's almost time for Santa to get here. This MIGHT BE the year I get my Chrissy doll!!

I started the lengthy process of signing up and setting up a profile, which basically consists of  repeating the same bullshit over and over on several of the first pages: name, address, email address, birth date, phone, lather rinse repeat. After every page of information, it then asks you to verify what you just typed making the whole thing seem redundant.

Next, we were given the option to check to see if the guy qualified for low income rates. We were asked several questions and I inputted all of the information and then out of nowhere it told me to review the profile, which was odd because that was information covered in setting up the account. I reviewed the profile and noticed there was no way for me to move forward. Abso-freaking-lutely no button on the page to go backward or forward, so I clicked on "Get Insurance" at the top and, of course, it started me all through setting up the profile again.

I clicked on live chat and explained my situation to Jaime, who told me to set up a profile. Well, duh, Jaime, why didn't *I* think of that?! When I pointed out again, that I HAD set up a profile, Jaime informed me that the reason I couldn't move forward was because there were so many ppl using the site at the same time. Okay, lets think about this: if there were 900 million google users on blogger right now and I had no button that said "publish" on my page would it be because of high usage or because of software problems? Again, I oh so politely pointed out to Jaime that it had nothing to do with a high volume of users, it was because of a software glitch, and he told me that if I called in "right now" he could help me fill out the application over the phone. I asked him for his direct phone number and he was strictly chat. Fine. No phone sex for you, Jaime.

I logged out of chat and called the bug'ment, I mean gub'ment and explained the situation to knowledgeable Yvonne, who told me she would be happy to help me. The first thing we needed to do was set up a profile. Typical government. It's all about the profiling.

I explained AGAIN that I had done all of that and I was unable to move forward because there was no button on the page. Yvonne informed me that it was due to a high volume of users. I'm guessing that's the standard gub'ment line for all problems on this friggin' website. Yvonne told me the employee would have to call back later and she would 'help' him and that it shouldn't take long because we already set up the all important 'profile'. I told him to let me know how things went.

He called me later to say that after an hour and a half on the phone, he had insurance. I asked him why it had taken so long. Too many users on the website at the same time? Har. Har. Nay, it was because as Yvonne was talking to us about the application, she was also deleting all of it at the same time, requiring the employee to guessed it.....set up a new profile!!

Now here's the thing that scares me: this is a website where you input all of your personal, confidential information. Exactly how many days before this inept piece of crap is hacked?

Friday, October 25, 2013

Police Officer of the Year's Heroics Caught on Dashcam

A Pennsylvania State Trooper has received one of the highest awards in law enforcement for the actions he took to stop a man who launched a deadly rampage last December, and ABC News has exclusively obtained the unedited footage from the dash-cam that was installed in the trooper's police cruiser.

It's a rare glimpse into the moments when police engage an active shooter, and put their own lives on the line to potentially save others.

On the morning of Dec. 21, 2012, an unemployed, former trucker allegedly walked into a church in Frankstown Township, Pa., and opened fire on a woman decorating the building's walls for a children's Christmas party. The man, Jeffrey Lee Michael, then allegedly killed two others away from the church.


Monday, June 24, 2013

here's another one for the book....

An employee came into the office today and was talking to me. After a few minutes, she said, "Did you color your hair?"

And I said, "No".

She said, "Then why is it darker in the front than it is in the back?"

I said, "Because that's the way I colored it...SIX MONTHS AGO."

She said, "I don't know. I don't look at your hair."

Yes, because it's sooooooooooooo cleverly hidden on TOP OF MY HEAD.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

damn right it's better than yours

So I went to Lowe's this morning (aka The Scariest Place on Earth) and bought this handy dandy little toy...........

My husband feeds the birds, and while he does get peanuts for the squirrels, the blue jays have a tendency to swipe them. I haven't seen many squirrels in the yard lately--we used to have tons of them--so I figured this squirrel KOB  bungee feeder might lure them back. You know, it's the milkshake that brings all the squirrels to my to speak. 

I was reading the instructions and at the end it says "add a dab of peanut butter to entice feeding".


Squirrels are so damn lackadaisical about feeding that I now have to "entice" them to eat?!

I just made a special trip to The Scariest Place on Earth (ON FREAKING FATHER'S DAY where were grown men drooling over grills right out in front of the damn store!) and shelled out $15 to buy YOU squirrels a bungee, another big hunk of corn mix and a bag of corn cobs but nooooooooooooooooo, that's not good enough for you. I now have to freaking BEG you to  eat my food!

Fuck that shit, squirrels!

Raccoons, allow me to introduce you to my raccoon KOB bungee and corn cob cake feeder mix....

Saturday, March 09, 2013

can you hear me now?

I just love working with that one person who makes it their duty to see to it that EVERYONE in the office has to hear their cell phone conversations.

They're especially lovely when they're peppered with numerous comments about how everyone in the world--except said conversationalist and her family--are as "dumb as a post"....wheeeeeeee!

Friday, February 15, 2013

my name is Goddess and i am a shopaholic

Lordy, it's sad when the UPS guy notices that you haven't been shopping. He asked me if I made a New Year's resolution to stop shopping because he hadn't delivered any packages to me since early December. I told him I hacked up my credit cards....sigh. I'm so glad I did it but it HURRRRRRRT!

Saturday, January 05, 2013

Don't listen to a word I say the screams all sound the same

I stopped at the (in)convenience store on the way shopping this morning and quickly found myself surrounded by about 15 Fred Bear wannabe's. (Thought I didn't know who he was, didn't cha?! HA!)

Why didn't anybody tell me winter was hunting season in Pennsylvania? I've never heard of such a thing! Thank God I wasn't wearing my brown coat, brown pants and party antlers....I would have been bagged and tagged right in front of the doughnut case!

Of course the guys were all in their camouflage pants and coats and it occurred to me that if they all stood together in a big group.................I think you know where I'm going with this.

I almost lost it though when the one guy kept excitedly saying to the others, "I forgot my phone! I forgot my phone!" as if "accidentally" leaving his phone at home had NEVER occurred to him before. One guy said, "Good, that way you won't get bitched at," and another one said, "Yeah, last time we went hunting you brought your phone and had to leave cuz someone got sick."

Wah wah waaaaaaah. I half expected them to start hitting each other up for tampons.

Some times ya never realize how whiney guys are until you're in a pack of 'em.

And it always amazes me about how guys are not the least bit bashful about staring. Me, I glance, glance away. Then if they're smokin', I think "HOLY SHIT!" and will glance again on my way out, all the while acting as if I could give a rat's ass. Guys. Just. Stare. It's like they're deaf to that inner voice that says "Look away, asshole, it's RUDE to stare!"

Thursday, January 03, 2013

I was up against the wall on the west mezzanine

Mr. G buys all the groceries (yay, me!) and he brought them home tonight and we were unloading them and he hands me a big bouquet of FLOWERS!!

I'm like, "What is this?!" all embarrassed and happy at the same time. And he said..........."just because, Honey."

My husband is THE BEST!!

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

should yulu Hulu?

Wow, I am constantly amazed at the GREAT free content available on

Let's take a gander at a few of the programs, shall we?

Primer Impacto
Despierta America
Sal y Piminta
Cosas de la Vida
Amor Bravio
Por Ella Soy Eva
La Hora Pico
Amorcito Corazon
Amores Verdaderos

and the freaking SPANISH list of shows goes on and on. Nice of them to throw in a few American shows here and there for those of us who only speak ENGLISH....