Sunday, November 25, 2012

I'm gonna save a looooot of people a looooot of hassle right now

The Christmas movie in which the woman crawls through her dryer is Holiday Switch. Every year, I have people going to my Christmas movie page with the same Google search string, "movie in which a woman crawls through her dryer"...and there ya have it.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Hola, Turkeys!

I started my day with a nice long walk. It's sunshiney but a little on the cool side here today. I think it's only supposed to be in the 50's. I was glad I did my walking BEFORE lunch because I knew there was no way I'd be walking AFTER lunch:)

I made some of the Offspring to walk with me. Forced exercise is always a good thing, but I think I must have lost a few of them along the way. I started out walking with eight of them and one quickly dropped by the wayside--a victim of donuts, Coke and tobacky. Those little wusses have no lung capacity whatsoever. Why when I was their age, I was smoking three packs a day and walking to school uphill both ways, all the while puffing away on two Marlboros at a time. (And when I say 'school', I mean the liquor store.) That's multi-tasking, people.

But I'm guessing Male Offspring #6 wasn't the only one I lost since I only came back with four kids. Geez, I need to walk more often. Like they say, ya win some, ya lose some....

I will spare you the "I'm so grateful for" column this year. Just ASSume that I'm grateful for everything except disease, heartbreak and skinny jeans for men.

Monday, November 19, 2012

malibu country

I loved Reba's old show with Barbara Jean and crazy old Van. I was really happy to see that Reba has a new show called Malibu Country.

In the opening show, we learn that Reba was a country singer/song writer, who gave up her career for family and her big time country singer husband started cheating on her. She dumped him when his affair became public and moved to Malibu to restart her song writing career.

She moves her son and daughter and her mother, played by Lily Tomlin to Malibu. They move next door to Sarah Rue, who was obviously about five or six months pregnant in the second show, but perfectly thin in the first. Soooo I'm guessing there was a bit of a time lapse there between eps. Funny thing is her boobs have about tripled in size and yet she keeps holding things in front of her stomach. I'm thinking she needs to move those purses and hats up a few inches if she wants to hide the fact that she's pregnant...a fact there's no hiding, thank you very much.

After three episodes I am just not warming up to this show. Maybe I miss Van and Cheyenne and Barbara Jean too much, and maybe I'm comparing too much, but there's nothing about this show that grabs me and pulls me in.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

This weekend I watched...


OMG. It was so good, but I'm thinking maybe it's more of a chick flick?

It stars the voices of Emma Thompson, Billy Connolly, Kelly MacDonald, and Craig Ferguson, and it WILL have you attempting to talk with a Scottish accent for the rest of the day.

It's the story of four Scottish clans who have forged an alliance, unlike the clans of the past.  At the beginning of the film,  King Fergus lost his leg to Mor'du, a bear who was actually a Prince who had asked a witch to give him the strength of three men so he could rule all, thus pitting the clans against each other. According to tradition, Merida, the daughter of King Fergus of Clan DunBroch is supposed to wed one of the first born sons of the leaders of the other three clans.

But Merida is not like her mother, Queen Elinor, who has tried to constantly school her child in all things royal. Upset that her mother would not give validity to Merida's feelings on the bethroyal, Merida defiantly sets off on horseback and follows the will o'the wisps into the forest to a witch's cottage. She asks the witch for a spell to 'change her mother' so that her mother will let her marry the man she chooses when she's ready to choose. I shan't give away anything else because you have to see it for yourself.

BTW, the triplets, Merida's small brothers, were a real hoot.

I watched the movie twice and the ending three times, and despite my best intentions, cried every damn time I saw it, even though I knew what was coming!  Great movie from Pixar and Merida's last lines in the film said it best, "There are those who say fate is something beyond our command, that destiny is not our own. But I know better. Our fate lives within us; you only have to be brave enough to see it."

Sunday, November 11, 2012

dear santa

This year I have been a very good girl. Sadly. I would like to be rewarded for my goodness. Please bring me a DVD of Magic Mike and a movie poster from Magic Mike. And it sure as shit wouldn't hurt if you brought me Magic Mike. Now if you'll excuse me. I need an umbrella cuz It's Raining Men....lordy this man must have made a friggin' mint stripping!

Veteran's Day

Thanking all of the men and women who have served this country...

Sunday, November 04, 2012

what the WHAT now?!

Yesterday I posted these perfectly respectable pictures of Channing Tatum as our home computer wallpaper. (I may or may not have made a collage of half nekkid CT pics....)

I will pause while the ladies get tissues to wipe up their drool.....

This morning I was laying in bed and I hear Mr. G yelling, "Get these pictures of this GAY GUY off the computer! I'm not looking at him every time I log on!"

I couldn't help but laugh. Ok, I yelled but THEN I laughed because it occurred to me that when women feel defensive about other women we say, "Their boobs are fake!" and when men feel defensive about other men, they say, "They're gay!"