Friday, August 31, 2012

curses! foiled again!!!

I saw a sign on a shop door that read, "Win a FREE RIDE in a police car!" and I was like, "OMG! I wonder where I register for that?! It sounds so cool!"

Then my eyes dropped down to the next line that read, "Shoplift in this store and that's exactly what you'll get..."


Saturday, August 25, 2012

hate to say it but the boy makes a good point...

From The Babymakers...
On finding out that everyone seemed to know he was having trouble getting his wife pregnant, Tommy asked his wife Audrey if she had told everyone. "I told three people."
"You didn't tell three 'people'. You told three women."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Why do you think there are no female serial killers? Because after they kill the first guy, they gotta go tell somebody."

Saturday, August 18, 2012

this has got to be one of the most bizarre things

I've seen in a LONG time. They also come in half kid, half horsey! This reminds me of one of those half man/half goat creatures from mythology. Only weirder...

I'm sooooo getting a couple for the Offspring.

Shame is the name of the game!!!

Friday, August 17, 2012

is it my imagination or

do some celebs think rather highly of themselves? I opened my yahoo mail page and one of the story headlines was "Jenny McCarthy Announces Split From Brian Urlacher". Jenny is so freaking important we have to know who she ISN'T dating anymore? And Jenny has this "6 month rule" in which she doesn't intro a man to her son until six months has passed. Wonder if this also applies to sex.....cuz I bet it doesn't.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

some people don't expect much, do they?

Kobe Bryant's wife said, "I certainly would not want to be married to somebody that can't win championships. If you're sacrificing time away from my family and myself for the benefit of winning championships, then winning a championship should happen every single year." So he's spending time away from her SOLELY for the 'benefit of winning championships'? Making boku bucks so she can live a lavish lifestyle has nothing to do with it, I guess? Gotta LOVE how she makes winning the championship ALL about HIM. Somebody needs to tell her there's no 'i' in team...

Sunday, August 05, 2012

i found this letter one day

when i was walking a few years ago. they had recently torn down an abandoned home in the area where i walk, so i don't know if it was from that house or had blown from someone's garbage. i saved it though cuz i find this sort of stuff fascinating. i wonder who the person is that wrote it and if he's still alive and whether this was a recent letter or old letter, as there's no date.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

copy that

mr wonderful day guy is starting to grate on my nerves.

it's getting to the point where i don't even want to go to the convenience store in the morning to buy my little debbie fudge round power breakfast.

every morning our conversations go a little something like this:
him: how are YOU today? (always spoken in an overly cheerful fake voice)
me: fine, thanks.
me: how are you doing? (always spoken in an 'i really don't care but now i feel obligated to axe' voice)
me: ok thanks (as he hands me my change)
him: have a WONDERFUL day!

i cant' figure out if he was valedictorian of the convenience store customer friendliness class or if he's being sarcastic in a 'super de-duper!' Barney kind of way.

i suspect the latter.

one of these days i'm gonna slip him a thesaurus along with my

btw, mr wonderful day guy is in direct contrast to his co-worker who started slamming things around today because i returned a food order that wasn't what i asked for.

gurl, let me give you a piece of advice: i didn't yell, i didn't rave and i didn't swear at you. i simply told you it wasn't what i asked for and i wanted my money back. if you're going to take every issue as a criticism of yourself, you need to GET OUT OF CUSTOMER SERVICE PRONTO cuz it's gonna eat you alive.