Thursday, June 07, 2012

love bites

For the life of me, I don't get what other women see in werewolf and vampire romances.

Last week I accidentally picked one up from the library. In my defense, the damn thing had a COWBOY on the cover. AND it was from Harlequin!

Granted the little "love at first bite" stamped on the front MIGHT have been a clue had I not been staring at the cowboy's muscular shoulders, broad chest and washboard abs.

All that registered in my blonde brain when I looked at this cover was "Blaze" "Cowboy" and SEX!!!! Okay the word 'sex' wasn't actually there, but it was implied.

Besides, how was I to know there was such a thing as 150 year old cowboy?! Geez I know some of them LOOK 150 from being in the hott sun riding the range all day, but damn.

I didn't make it very far into the book when the cowpire (cowboy + vampire=cowpire) mentioned that he had "plenty of bagged blood stashed back in his suitcase at the motel." Call me weird but that kinda GROSSED ME OUT. 

The author almost totally lost me when Colton went back to the motel and pulled "out a bag of AB-" and heated it in the microwave. Then he "dumped the warm liquid into a glass and touched the rim to his lips. The sweet heat rolled down his throat, but it wasn't enough to fill up the emptiness in the pit of his stomach." It never is, ya know? That's the drawback of drinking blood instead of filling up on chocolate cake. Now THAT fills the emptiness. Been there, filled up on that.

BUT I'm not going to toss this book aside just yet. I'm paging through to the part where he tells her he's a vampire cuz I'm just wondering how that sort of thing comes up in conversation.

"Sooooo are you a blood donor? Cuz I could sure use a few pints what with me being a VAMPIRE and all...."


 "You know when couples say they'll love each other FOREVER? Well, I REALLY mean it."

However he tells her I'm sure she'll be just fine with it because like any woman, she'll convince herself she can love him right out of his blood sucking ways.

And they'll all live happily EVER after.


BRUNO said...

Ya' mean slick, hairless chests are "in" now?

Huh. That used to be a sign of puberty, not manhood, didn't it???

But what do I know. I mean, I was raised in the woods by bears.

And, YES, I still can, and on-occasion do, shit in the woods...!☺

*Goddess* said...

Hairless chests have been IN for years and I HATE IT!!

If you look CLOSELY-as I have several times--you'll find a 'light smattering' of chest fav;)

Hairless looks so unnatural.

BRUNO said...

Well, except on WOMEN!

Now, that's OK! So, rip-out the ol' Racines', plug-'em in, an' get to cuttin' bush! Ooops, I meant, BRUSH......!!!☺