Monday, July 11, 2011

pump, pa-pump, pa-pump it up and back it up like a Tonka truck

One of MY offspring has to have court mandated therapy.

Who could have seen that one coming? Stevie Wonder? Helen Keller? Hell, Louey Braille not only could have seen it, he could have blogged about it.

I apologize for this offensive picture. I did NOT have sex with Ronald McDonald!! Or any other redheads!
Today MO #4 was filling out his intake interview questionnaire--you know, so they can figure out why he's a few jujubees short of a pound and how they can blame it all on me.

The question was: what are some of the activities you perform with your family? 

You know why they ask this question, right? So they can figure out how to blame it all on me. Anyone who has read my blog knows that clearly, I'm about as well adjusted as they come.

Anyhee, when they asked him to list the activities he did with his family, he wrote: screaming, yelling and throwing things.

The little bastard didn't mention a word about smoking, drinking or family shoplifting night. Where did I go wrong?! 

I try to instill values in these kids. I try to come up with fun things we can do as a family that doesn't cost much money. Let's face it, if you ignore bail and court costs, shoplifting can provide virtually free entertainment. Running from the poleece is also good for your cardiovascular system! And theirs! It's a win/win.

Here's the most disturbing thing of all about this court mandated therapy--I have to attend, too! Do you know WHY that is? So they can look me right in the face when they find a way to blame all his twisted little ways on --PAY ATTENTION--ME!!! Gawd, what if I learn something at this court mandated therapy? What if I get new insights into me? What if MO #4 and I learn to C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-E, using words than four letter ones? I'm terrified that any minute now the Buhl Planetarium is going to call and tell me the world does NOT revolve around me! It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel sick.


BRUNO said...

Umm, is O.S.#4 old-enough to receive the bronze-plated "Official Family Boot-Up-The-Ass" yet? Here in "Hells-Suburbs" of MO, anything over 14-years & 29-days is gettin' close to "try as an adult"-age, esp. for felonies, and esp. IF THE SUBJECT HAS QUIT SCHOOL, WITHOUT PARENTAL PERMISSION. I had to deal with a little-bastard like that, several years ago, too.

Maybe laws are quite a bit different in PA, though???

*Goddess* said...

Ya know, you have hit the nail on the head...not ENOUGH boot up the ass. Course you know who they'll blame that on, right? ME!!

BRUNO said...

Yeah, I know. "Parental-Responsibilty"-Laws have really changed, even in just the past 5-years, and not necessarily for the better.

At one time, the age of 17 years, 6 months meant you MIGHT HAVE BEEN given the option to get ironed-out in a military boot-camp---or spend several-years confined, wishing you HAD, back before institutions became more "comfortable" for their occupants.

But that option no longer exists, for the most part. Military doesn't WANT-'em anymore, with "pre-screwed-up"-conditions. Can't say as I blame 'em, really: Just some-cases can't be rehabbed, like we'd wish.(In MY-time, it was actually a PLUS, perhaps??? LOL!)

All I can vouch for, is that it worked for ME, when I was given the (no)option of an "advanced"-education, even if those two-years DID seem like twenty!☺

And, BTW: This doesn't always apply to MALE-"offenders", either...!