Sunday, July 03, 2011

I've been waiting for a miracle

I was driving to the shopping center this afternoon when I saw a state trooper up ahead on the right hand shoulder of the road. I pulled over into the left hand lane, cuz you know it's the law! He pulled out and came into the left hand lane right behind me. For the hell of it, I decided to dodge right so he wouldn't be riding my ass the whole way, and he did the same.

A minute or two later,  I slid into the left lane again, and so did he. At this point I started undoing a few buttons on my blouse, displaying the cleavage to my advantage. Hey, couldn't hurt, right? Then I slid into the left hand turning lane and so did he. I was going to the ladies apparel store, but I'm guessing he isn't behind me because he's looking for undies for his gf.

Now that he's followed me across three lanes, I'm thinking, "uh oh," and EVEN THOUGH I knew I had done nothing wrong, I started to panic anyway. Immediately I started reciting the policeman's prayer. You know the one that goes something like this, "Sweet baby Jesus, don't let that policeman be coming after me!! I'm too purdy to go to jail!"

All of a sudden this asshole--who I like to refer to as a 'blessing in disguise'--comes flying down the highway in the opposite direction, passing us by like we're dirty shirts. The state trooper immediately turned on his lights, did a u-ey and tore off after him. PHEW! Thank God for idiots.


BRUNO said...

Y' ever consider the fact it MAY HAVE BEEN a FE-MALE officer, that you'd "gotten the attention of", instead, eh...???☺

*Goddess* said...

No because when I passed him originally, I made eye know to see if he was hott. I forgot to add that part..about how you NEVER want to made eye contact....LOL

BRUNO said...

You need those mirrored-sunglasses, to hide your "too-hott-for-your-own-good" (red)-eyes....!