Sunday, August 22, 2010

no, Alice, welcome to MY nightmare


My sister called me this afternoon and said, "OMG!! Alice Cooper is coming to town!! Do you want to get tickets to go see him?"

After I spent a few seconds manually adjusting my eyeballs because I rolled them ceiling ward too many times in rapid succession and they stuck, I said, "You're kidding me, right?"

My sister: "No! We've always wanted to see Alice."

Moi: "Yeah, when we were IN HIGH SCHOOL and when he was in his heyday, not two steps from the grave. Do you have any idea how OLD Alice is right now? HE'S SIXTY TWO YEARS OLD!!! The only thing sadder than SEEING Alice on tour right now is Alice BEING on tour right now!"

Seriously. What is the man going to sing? "School's out for ever?" Dude, you're SIXTY TWO YEARS OLD. Of course school is out FOREVER! OR maybe he'll sing "The Guttercats vs. The Jets" because when you're a jet you're a jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last dying day! Proving once again, that sadly there are some lyrics you can never erase from your brain.

NOW LET US NEVER SPEAK OF THIS FOOLISHNESS AGAIN!!!!

10 comments:

BRUNO said...

I wonder if he's STILL president of the Nude Womens' Wrestling Association? LOL!

Remember that album, umm---"cover"?(A paper-sack?)

Really! I still have an original-"sack"---AND I also have the original SCHOOL-DESK, too!

♫♪"Oh-h-h, Wo-man Ma-chine"...!♫♪

I wanna "Go To HELL, With Alice"...!!!

*Goddess* said...

My sister had the school desk. Don't know if she still has it or not. I don't remember the sack one, though. I'll have to look online. It would just be a TAD ridiculous hearing a 62 year old sing those songs...

Meadowlark said...

He was here locally and while I sure as hell didn't go, a bunch of friends went and said "know what? it was totally worth it." go figure.

BRUNO said...

If I ever "get-a-round-tuit", I'll send ya' a pic of---"it"!

Got "it" tucked-away safely, inside Alices' "desk".

Propped-upright by Molly Hatchets' "Flirtin' With Disaster".

I miss actual RECORD-album covers!

Hell, there's been more than ONE that I'd bought just FOR the cover-art, even though the MUSIC sucked---and, still-does!☺

Mushy said...

Wha-chu talkin' 'bout Goddess...62 years old! Ever hear of Mick Jagger, Roger Waters, Eric Clapton, or Paul McCartney?

Hell, have you ever heard me in the shower? I'm great!

Go to the damn concert and have a blast being young again!

*Goddess* said...

You're going to that concert, aren't cha, Mushy?:)

*Goddess* said...

Bruno, wasn't one of Alice's album covers a pizza box?

BRUNO said...

I don't know, but---if there WAS one, that was a pizza-box---there's a 90%-chance it'd have either PUKE, or SHIT, in it!

Probably the latter...!

FHB said...

Just saw Gordon Lightfoot. He's about 71, and looks it, and sounds it too. But it was still fun.

Snidely Whiplash said...

I have long advocated the humane euthanasia of elderly rock stars. Seeing Robert Plant shakin' it causes much more widespread nausea and intestinal distress than a coupla' billion salmonella tainted eggs