Sunday, August 22, 2010
no, Alice, welcome to MY nightmare
My sister called me this afternoon and said, "OMG!! Alice Cooper is coming to town!! Do you want to get tickets to go see him?"
After I spent a few seconds manually adjusting my eyeballs because I rolled them ceiling ward too many times in rapid succession and they stuck, I said, "You're kidding me, right?"
My sister: "No! We've always wanted to see Alice."
Moi: "Yeah, when we were IN HIGH SCHOOL and when he was in his heyday, not two steps from the grave. Do you have any idea how OLD Alice is right now? HE'S SIXTY TWO YEARS OLD!!! The only thing sadder than SEEING Alice on tour right now is Alice BEING on tour right now!"
Seriously. What is the man going to sing? "School's out for ever?" Dude, you're SIXTY TWO YEARS OLD. Of course school is out FOREVER! OR maybe he'll sing "The Guttercats vs. The Jets" because when you're a jet you're a jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last dying day! Proving once again, that sadly there are some lyrics you can never erase from your brain.
NOW LET US NEVER SPEAK OF THIS FOOLISHNESS AGAIN!!!!