Friday, April 30, 2010

awww, my kids are the BEST!

Now that I've discovered the dentist dispenses DRUGS--yes, the GOOD KIND!!--the offspring have all agreed to ask for prescriptions the next time they go and they're going to give them to me for Mother's Day. Finally a Mother's Day gift suited to my personality.

Isn't that wonderful of them? Too freaking bad the dentist only prescribes four valium at a time, but with sixteen kids, I'll have....ummm, add three, carry the four....well, enough to last me two weeks at least!

You know what upsets me the most about just finding out about dentists and valium? All this time, I've been suffering through my dentist's stupid jokes and shitty bills SOBER!! That is JUST WRONG.

From now on, any procedure I get, I'm asking if drugs are available. I don't care if it's taking the car in for an oil change. HEEEEY! I wonder if the gyne offers drugs? I swear if all those visits sweating it out in the stirrups sober were for naught, I'm going to scream!


BRUNO said...

I think I'll settle for the Novocaine, instead---I like to enjoy MY "trips" privately!

My Dad would have his teeth filled using NO 'caine at all. He claimed the damned SHOT hurt worse than the DRILL???

Me being the "wussy" I am though---I always preferred to just take his word for it...!

BRUNO said...

I suppose by now you've sang the 'Stones-song "Mothers' Little Helper" at least a dozen-times by the end of this day...!☺