Thursday, January 07, 2010

oh the carnage

It's bad enough that Kristie Alley is trying another time to make money off of being fat with her reality show about losing weight (again), now Carnie Wilson is stepping into the fray with HER reality show about losing weight (again), "Unstapled".

Forget it, Carnie. You garnered your attention when you made a huge deal out of your weight loss operation. Then you garnered attention using your weight when you were on Celebrity Fit Club. You don't get a third chance, sister. Wilson also wrote TWO autobiographies because everybody gets preachy after they lose weight. If only we had a quarter for every, "if I can do it, you can do it" uttered by a newly thin celeb.

Listen up, celebs: you only have TWO CHANCES to make money off of your fat: when you gain it and when you lose it. You can't keep gaining and losing and gaining and losing. Once you've gone on your "look at me in a bikini" tour and then gain weight, you become a fat schlub just like the rest of us, struggling to keep that weight off. You have nothing to teach us because you haven't learned the lessons yourself. You've lost us after the first "OMG! I can't believe how thin I am! I'll NEVER regain this weight because 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels'!" Yes, Oprah, I'm talking to YOU and your utter bullshit. So, celebs, if you lose weight, do yourself a favor and just shut up about it. Don't plaster yourself on the cover of Self Magazine, don't come out with your own line of weight loss products, and for God sakes, don't write a weight loss book. These things will only come back to haunt you the next time you're consoling yourself with a box of Twinkies.


BBC said...

Wait a minute, if I get fat I have a chance of making some money off of it?

Oh hell, I've never been overweight in my life, it's too late to start now.

*Goddess* said...

You have two get chubby!

Shrinky said...

Now, what they DON'T tell 'ya about getting skinny after being a lardy arse, is it just leaves you drowning in a rhino-wrinkly skin - I'm thinking of taking a book out entitled, "It's not worth the effort, you'll still scare the kids." Think I can make any money out of it??

*Goddess* said...

I don't know, Carol, but I'll give you two chances to find!

BRUNO said...

Shit, I'm literally sittin' on MILLIONS, then! I should've started this YEARS ago!

Could this be considered a "pyramid-scheme", since it involves just simply to keep "piling it up more and more each day"???

Boomer Pie said...

Just happened to bump into your blog on my way to the pantry for more twinkies. I signed up to follow you because I like your style. Stop by my place and return the favor if you like what you see.