Tuesday, January 05, 2010

I am quite PIST (<--politically correct version)

My mother recently gave me something of my father's, and at the very time she gave it to me, suggested several times that I sell it to another relative, who is not a sibling. My siblings got the same gift, it was something very dear to my dad, the ONLY thing I have of my father's and they're all keeping their gift. But my mother is rather insistent I sell mine.

I'm so pissed about this I don't know which way to turn. My husband has often said my mother is the only one he knows who gives you a "gift" then tells you what to do with it or how to spend it.

I've always felt that my mother thinks it's okay for my siblings to have and enjoy nice things, but not me, and this is an attitude I struggle with every day. I have to remind myself at every twist and turn that I DO DESERVE GOOD in life. It totally sucks. I would think a mother would want good things for her offspring. I certainly do. I want my offspring to be as wealthy and educated and healthy as they can be. They can have the biggest, most opulent houses on the block if it is within their means. Good for them.

And my mother tries to make me feel guilty for anything nice I do have. As if I don't work shitty hours and two shitty jobs to pay for what I have. I remember a year or so after we got married, my husband bought a really pretty faux rabbit fur jacket. I loved that thing. It only cost about $75 but my mother went on and on about how we buy each other "such extravagant gifts". Unreal. She could suck the fun out of busload of clowns.

My mother has placed me one step above the thrift store more often than I can count, and it really bugs me. Sooo many times she'll call me and say, "I have such and such here for you to look through, then we're taking it to St. Vincent dePaul's." Meaning that at this point, all my siblings have looked through it and whatever crap is left--and I do mean 'crap'--is "good enough" for me.

If she gives me any money, she'll remind me for months and months about how she gave me the money and if she hadn't, I "wouldn't have anything." Even though, she gives the same money to my siblings and says nothing.

Is it any wonder WE HAVE ISSUES?!


Shrinky said...

Shit, fancy swapping a paranoid schizophrensic for her? (Sorry, my warped humour). But hey, it gets better - you'll outlive her - believe me, I know!

Truth is, some parents should have been sterilised long before they ever got to that door, and it sucks. It's not right, it's not fair, and yet despite all of that, girl, just LOOK at how you've turned out - if anyone should hold their head up high, it's you. Don't wait for her to give you the credit you deserve, that'll never come, just take a curtsey and walk on, you are so much bigger than she can ever hope to be (x).

BRUNO said...

Sounds EXACTLY like my wifes' "family"---and her mother IS a paranoid/schizo, literally!(The rest are just depressed about how life shits on THEM, only!) And if ya' haven't figgered it out by now: MISERY LOVES COMPANY. The ONLY goal of family like that is TO MAKE YOU AS MISERABLE AS THEY ARE, so that they feel "better" about themselves.(One of those "Catch-22" situations, ya' know!)

Other than that, there's NO need for ME to re-write what SHRINKY said---DITTO for me......!

*Goddess* said...

Thanks, Shrinky:)

*Goddess* said...

The ONLY goal of family like that is TO MAKE YOU AS MISERABLE AS THEY ARE, so that they feel "better" about themselves.

Ain't that the truth. And they do it SOOOOOO well!