Friday, December 11, 2009

banana fanna fo furley

I was listening to a story online and one person who was mentioned had the name Jeremiah Jeremiah. I'm sorry, but that is just pure laziness on the part of Jeremiah's parents. Shame on you.

I know picking a name for your new baby is hard, after all, there are soooo few to pick from. If only someone would compile a bunch of names in a book, and call it ...oh, I don't know, something like "Baby Names", wow, that would make the process so much simpler, wouldn't it?

To all you expecting parents in the process of name picking, I say: PLEASE no more Willie Williams or John Johnsons or Jeremiah Jeremiahs. NO more Al Albertsons or John Johns or Tim Timmons.

Put a little thought into it and know that it's permissible to move up and down the alphabet when choosing first names. One is not legally bound to use the same beginning letter in the first name as well as the last.

And knock off the screwy spellings. No more 'Barbee' instead of 'Barbie', no more 'Jayme' instead of 'Jamie' and for the love of Pete, no more 'Leanne', 'Leeanne' or 'Leeann' instead of 'Leann.'

And what's up with people whose kids all have to have the same initials? What's the purpose of this? Are these parents so heavy into monogramming clothes they they figure they can pass them down from oldest to youngest without ever having to rip those initials off?

Celebs can blame ridiculous names on their "eccentricities" (in the average Joe and Jo, we recognize these as "mental problems"), but po' people have no excuses. Aside from DNA and chubby thighs, a name is the first thing you give your child. Don't embarrass the hell out of them right out of the starting gate.


BRUNO said...

Don't forget Rosanna-Rosanna Dana!

And all the Kaitlyns, or Kaytlins, or Caitlins, or maybe K'-Aitlins, and on and on.

Thank goodness that name is startin' to wear-down now!

Bet there'll be a screeching-halt to the name Tiger for a while!

What's he up to now? About Eleven hoes, an' counting?

BBC said...

You have 'mild winters,' Billy and you live in the North?! North what? Hawaii?

Come on, everyone that pays attention knows that I live in Port Angeles, Washington. You know, that state up next to Canada.

Never had any problem naming my curtain climbers at all, but I wasn't in hollyweird or any other weird places.

*Goddess* said...

Yes, Billy, I know where you live. I was joking.