Wednesday, October 14, 2009

dieting with Jesus

If you've been reading my journal for any length of time, you know that Male Offspring #6 is my Jebus freak. Of course, he hates it when I refer to him that way. He prefers "extra-ordinarily devoted disciple of Christ". Whatever floats yer boat.

He knows that I've been working really hard to lose weight lately. (When I say, "working really hard" I mean "thinking about working really hard while I sit on the couch & watch TV".)

This morning when I woke up I found these on the refrigerator...

They have such inspiring phrases as, "Put down that candy or My daddy will damn you for all eternity!!" Ok, not really, but they should. Instead they have sayings like, "Your body is a temple. Fill it with salad," and "Fat jeans or skinny jeans? You decide." Could they be any more unholy?

While the magnets are quite lame, it beats the Christmas gift he gave me last year....Wash Away Your Sins lip balm. Yes, there really IS such a thing, and it hasn't washed away a damn thing in my life. Although my lips are sinfully soft.


BBC said...

Jesus didn't have to diet, he worked hard and didn't eat enough to have to diet.

If your son is going to be a Jesus freak he should learn the truth about Jesus.

I'm not a Jesus freak but I'm okay with what the man was. A cranky little bastard like me that drank a lot of wine and bitched about how the world was.

And had good sex with Mary, something they failed to mention in their stupid fucking bible.

Shrinky said...

You slay me, where do you get these from? Look on the bright side, the Birthday gift my eldest daughter gave me was a body lotion with "Bad Momma" stamped all over it (you think I jest? I am deadly serious here..).

BRUNO said...

Gotta love that lip-balm! Wonder if it's available in "Industrial-Strength"?---LOL!

Kinda in there with OLD-SPICE stick-deodorant: Convenient, smells good---but doesn't do a damned-thing about sweatin'! But, on the PLUS-side---it doesn't irritate like the anti-perspirant version!

*Goddess* said...

"Bad Momma"? LOL! Hey, be glad your kid still thinks of you that way:)

*Goddess* said...

Yes, I'm familiar with Old Spice stick deodorant. I didn't realize for the longest time that there was a difference between deodorant and anti-perspiration. Then again, I just stick to good old Mitchum. Works great no matter how high the humditty is:)