I saw a bumper sticker the other day that read, "Yes, Jesus, I'll ride with you." Hey, if He's paying for gas, I'll ride with him, too.
Some guy on tv was talking to his daughter (or his wife, can't remember which) about her stripping career and he said, "You can't dance forever..... they can only turn the lights down so low."
Why does the bee on the Nasanex commercial talk with a foreign accent? Outsourcing our bee acting jobs now, are we? American bees everywhere are probably screaming "They're stealing our jobs!"
Speaking of commercials, have you ever noticed that the "rock" climbing chick on the Claritin commercial is hanging on to the "rocks" by the PADS of her fingertips? How the hell does that work?
I was watching one of those 'inside prison' shows and the prisoner said, "I've been in prison since the '80's. When I get out I just want to retire." From WHAT?! A life of crime, I guess. Seems to be the only job he's ever had.