Sunday, July 12, 2009

time for another installment of "let's go to the movies!"

This week I watched "Bye Bye Love" starring Paul Riser and Randy Quaid. It was the story of three divorced guys trying to jump start their relationships. It was so-so. My favorite piece of dialogue took place a scene in which Randy took Janeane Garafolo out on a blind date. She said, "I'm not looking for a successful relationship at this point. I'm just looking for someone that would prevent me from throwing myself in front of a bus. I'm keeping my expectations very, very low. Basically, I'm looking for a mammal. That is my bottom line and I'm really very flexible on that, too."

I also watched "Pineapple Express," which if you haven't seen the film, refers to a type of marijuana. I made the mistake of watching PE right after I watched a Martin Lawrence film. Between the two of them, I was on "fuck overload". Pineapple was typical Seth Rogen fare, focusing on relationships and smoking dope. I found it hard to swallow Rosie Perez as a tough talking 'on the take' cop. One funny thing I noticed was a cop pulled up Rogen's police record on the MDT and it said something about a hit and run felony, then, "Arrest on site," which I'm sure was supposed to be "arrest on sight". My favorite lines were from a scene in which Rogen and Saul, his drug selling pal beat up another drug dealer who was trying to kill them before he got killed.
Saul: "Hey, Dale, do you think we're going to have to kill him? I don't think I'm capable of that."
Dale: "I don't think I could either."
Saul: "Maybe we could convince him to kill himself."
Another funny scene was when Saul managed to steal the cruiser while Dale (Rogen) was handcuffed in the back seat. They were trying to get away and Saul had slashed a red Squishee all over the front window and the windshield wipers wouldn't work. Dale told him to smash out the window, so he did...using his foot, which became embedded in the windshield...LOL! There he is driving down the street with his foot sticking through the front windshield. Hysterical.

"Thin Line Between Love & Hate" was Martin Lawrence's attempt at drama. He's a playa who plays the wrong woman, and she starts stalking him, hellbent on revenge. Martin Lawrence's idea of serious acting is to throw the word "fuck" into everything. "What the fuck are you doing here?" "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" "Get the fuck out!" See how it makes everything soooo much more dramatic? I've had more fun cleaning the gunk out of my belly button than I had watching this film.

I also saw "The Brothers Solomon" starring a very, very old Lee Majors, Will Arnet and Will Forte. This movie was about two brothers who decide to hire someone to have their baby after finding out their comatose father said he regretted not having a grandchild seconds before he slipped into his coma. What saved this movie from being stupid was the fact that the two brothers really loved each other. My favorite scene was when Dean called John a loser. "If I was always such a loser why was I voted our school's homecoming king?"
Dean: "We were home schooled."
John: "You're just upset because I beat you."
Dean: "You tied me!"
Took me a few minutes to figure out who the young girl was in the beginning scene with Will Forte. Turns out it was little Chrissy Seaver from Growing Pains, Ashley Johnson.

I also watched "Walk in the Clouds" starring Keanu Reeves and Debra Messing. Paul Sutton (Reeves) returns home from war and his wife (Messing) decides she wants him to go on the road selling chocolate because she's used to the finer things in life and she wants him to make money with a capital "M". On the train he meets Victoria, a young woman returning home to her strict father's home. She is pregnant and unmarried, after having an affair with her college professor. She knows her father will be furious so she and Sutton hatch a plan to pretend they are engaged. He will stay on night and then leave by morning. The movie was good but it moved sooooo slowly.

The last movie I saw was "The Neighbor" starring Matthew Modine--also in Bye, Bye Love--and Michele Laroque. He lives upstairs, she owns the building and wants him out. It was so-so and moved with all the speed of a turtle on downers.


BRUNO said...

"I was on fuck-overload..."

I simply MUST write that line down for future use......!!!

BBC said...

I'm wondering how in the world you find the time to watch so many movies. I only watch a few of them a year.