Tuesday, May 19, 2009

goin' down that long lonesome highway

One of our neighbors is going to work on my car today and I told Mr. G I'd drop it off after work last night and walk home. It would put me out alone after midnight and he said, "You won't be afraid to walk home by yourself?"

I said, "Why would I be afraid? It's my own neighborhood."

The only thing I was afraid of was skunks. I rounded the corner of the road and came across an opossum sitting in the middle of it. I shined the flashlight on him--gawd they're uglee creatures--and he just sat there, stunned by my beauty...ok, ok, transfixed by the light.

After a few seconds, I said, "Are you rabid or just too stupid to move? BTW, you SUCK at 'playing dead'. Make your body stiff as a board, shut your eyes and roll over, for Pete freaking sake."

Damn neophyte. You have to tell them everything.

3 comments:

BRUNO said...

They ARE nasty-lookin' thangs, ain't they? And have atrocious table-manners!

Reminds me of the night my wife found one layin' where she parks. She picked 'im up by the tail, rolled 'im around---"Yeah, he's dead. Dog must've gotten to him first. I'll get a shovel."

She went back with a shovel---and got there in time to see his nasty ass shinny up a hickory tree in the woods behind us! Dog never DID wake-up!

Damned dog! Think I'll choose a 'possum for my NEXT "watch-dog"...!!!

*Goddess* said...

Yeah one time we found three lying side by side when we cleaned out our shed. They were in a tarp that was folded up, and I'm like, "Eww, they committed mass suicide!" We left, trying to figure out what we were going to do with their 'bodies' and we came back fifteen minutes later to find them gone...

BRUNO said...

Don't let 'em fool ya'! Them nasty buggers can, and will, fight to the death! Those nasty-assed, razor-sharp teeth can really do a number. BUT---if you don't get 'em pinned in a corner, where they feel trapped---like you said, "walk off, and they'll be gone in fifteen minutes." Usually less.

Not unlike MYSELF, actually...!