Wednesday, April 08, 2009

here comes Peter Cottontail

I am SO GLAD Easter is almost here. I have been making extra money writing Easter bunny letters for deadbeat parents who are too lazy to pick up a pen and write one themselves.

It takes a lot of effort because I try to make each letter memorable, so I take special care to tailor the letter to the child's personality.

"If you don't stop your freaking whining, I'm leaving you a basket full of dollar store chocolate and Ex Lax. Good luck figuring out which is which."

"If you don't clean up your pigsty of a room, NO JELLY BEANS FOR YOU!!!"

"If you don't stop smoking crack, I won't bring you any candy."

All that threatening saps me creatively:(
I mean, sure I do it on a regular basis at home, but I'm not getting paid to do that.

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