Thursday, March 12, 2009

sit! stay! good boy!

According to this article, the Labrador Retriever is the most popular dog chosen by folks with kids.

"The Lab, as it is affectionately called, is the most popular breed chosen by families. Another member of the working class of dogs, the Lab is best known for its intelligence, affection, patience, and gentility, making them perfect companions for households with kids. They are easily trained, and, in fact, are one of the top dogs chosen for search and rescue, assisting the disabled, and police work. They are also known to self-train, observing behaviors in humans and repeating them—a great asset in emergency situations."

Um, HELLO?! Where do I sign up to get one of THOSE Labs?! Mr. G and I have often talked about the fact if either of us were ever partially paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair, our dog would drive us right into a ditch without thinking twice. I can see the wheels on the chair spinning endlessly in the air while she's off chasing a groundhog.

And "great asset in an emergency situation"?! If I've learned anything from my weekly, "pretend I'm having a heart attack and see how the dog responds" sessions, it's that I better start stashing candy under the couch and chairs because if I ever land face down on the carpet, I'm going to be there quite a while before help arrives.
"Help! I've fallen and my dog is smothering me with her big ass..."

Let's tell it like it is....

"The Lab, as it is affectionately called, is the dog most capable of suckering people in with their big brown eyes and quivering lower lip. Throw in the word "chocolate," and women can't resist them. Once the dogs become part of your family, they will chew everything from shoes to clothing to the decorative molding on your door frames. They are also known to self-train, observing behaviors in humans and repeating them, such as chewing on everything from shoes to clothing to the decorative molding on your door frames. They will not hesitate to bite the hand that feeds them, even if that hand has just given driven five miles out of it's way to pick up the damn dog's favorite treats! Highly intelligent, Labs will only chew expensive shoes, indicating they are able to discern Jimmy Choo from Payless."

Oh, and why did the Golden Retriever score higher than the Labrador Retriever?! They're both from the Retriever family! I guess the Golden is the family member with a Masters, while the Lab is the one with the GED...

1 comment:

The Future Was Yesterday said...

The Golden Retriever qualifies for a platinum card.