Friday, October 10, 2008

pennsyvania chainsaw massacre

Mr. G and I had a nice day off together. We went to Lowe's Home Improvement Center. Gotta admit, I feel about as at ease as a Jew at a pig roast when I enter Lowe's. BUT I got some sage advice from Bruno BEFORE I went, and I wasn't afraid to ask the salesman what I didn't know. My husband does NOT want me asking another guy for advice at Lowe's. It drives him nuts. I think he thinks it reflects badly on him, as if he should know everything there is to know about everything on the planet.

We bought a 14" chainsaw for the next time I get PMS and go psycho on my family. Hey, it pays to be prepared. Ok, we really bought it for yard work, but don't piss me off! I'm learning to use it, too!

I remembered Bruno telling me that I needed a gas/oil mix, so we bought a small bottle of that stuff, BUT there were also huge displays of this mysterious liquid called, chain oil. Now my husband and I know diddly about this sort of shit and I said--like the blonde that I am--"I wonder if you have to oil the chain in between using it to keep it from rusting?" And my husband wasn't far behind in that thinking, trust me, because he said, "Well, if we do, we don't need to buy any now because it's brand new." Something kept nagging at me, so without saying anything to him, I began hunting down a salesperson, which trust me is about as easy as finding said Jew at that pig roast.

I wanted one of the male persuasion. Yes, I'm prejudiced! I automatically think men know more about this stuff!

Anywho, the guy said, "Oh yeah, you have to put that in every time you use it." To which my husband replied, "Yeah, I tried to tell her that." EXCUSE ME, Mr. "if we do, we don't need to buy it now because it's brand new"?! But I said nothing and let him save face. Unlike some women, it's not my goal to embarrass my husband in public.

I don't know why it kills him to ask another guy for advice though. I have no problem asking other women about cooking or baking or decorating, if I have a question. We can't have expertise in everything and it's wise to ask those who do before ya fuck up majorly:)

Of course, I usually preface my questions with, "This might be a stupid question, but...." Most of the time they see that coming, though:)

Now I can't wait for Monday so we can get started whacking down these overgrown bushes and shrubs!


BRUNO said...

Wonder who this BRUNO fella is? He must be a REAL sweetheart! And, SMART, too...!

(Pssst---don't nobody tell her, but I learned about this stuff from my Dad, and Mom who taught me how to patch myself up after "mistakes"! I want her to think I was BORN intelly-gent...!)

The Future Was Yesterday said...

My wife is a bit different. She won't even ask for help finding stuff, I don't care if there's a blizzard in the store and the Huskie's are all in aisle 4 rescuing long suffering husbands! Then once we FIND what it is we're after, I can't get a word in edgewise. "Shut up and listen to the salesman!"

A small chink was put in that behavior this past spring, when we were shopping for lawn tractors. All was going famously, with hubby being shushed every thirty seconds while the salesman rambled on. Nevermind she's from California with a patch of grass smaller than some pubic patches I've seen. "I think we need that one!" "You made a fine choice, Maam! That comes to $90,632 before wheels, blades, and a steering wheel."

Then the blooming idiot that had only lived on farms all his life, mowed lawns all his life, got a chance to see what he could muck up:P

But give her credit. The tractor she almost bought me also doubled as a NASCAR entry on Sundays.