1. The GEICO Cavemen
2. Bob the asshole Enzyte guy
3. The guy who writes copy for Bob the asshole Enzyte guy and jams 20 cutesy ways to say “penis” and “hard on” into one commercial
4. Commercials for feminine douche, because they never get it right. No matter how much vinegar and water you shoot into your cooch, you’re never going to end up smelling like a “Summer’s Day”.
5. American Idol, because most of the “winners” with record contracts were the losers.
6. The term “wardrobe malfunction.” Call it what it is: a deliberate ploy for attention.
7. The talking Gecko because adults paying for insurance shouldn’t be treated like children.
8. The word “dude”
9 Fist bumping and slap hugging between men
10. The term “smash mouth football.“ I don’t know why, but it drives. me. bonkers.
11. The term “staycation.” Don’t make it seem fun. It’s a broke ass stuck at home go nowhere week because prices are out of control.
12. TV stations that cover our screens with BIG logos for upcoming shows instead of allowing us to enjoy the show currently airing. Yes, MTV, I’m talking to YOU!
13. Stickers on fruit!!!!
14. Idiot weathermen (and women) who stand outside in the middle of hurricanes. We get that 110 mph winds are strong, without the stupid visuals.
15. TruTv reminding us that they used to be Court TV. It was bad enough when Court TV kept reminding us that they were going to be TruTV. A year later and they’re still telling us who they used to be. Let the madness END already.