Thursday, June 19, 2008

Jesus loves me, this I know, because the bumper stickers tell me so

This morning while driving to work, I heard that people who plaster bumper stickers all over the back of their car are 15% more likely to commit road rage. You know what that means, right? It’s the “Honk if you love Jesus” people that you have to look out for. Hey, I learned my lesson when the Jesus fish chick FU’ed me because I bought a Snicker bar while paying for gas. There was someone ahead of me anyway. Not like I could have moved things along any faster. Bitch.

For all the people who keep saying demand is the reason for high gas prices, again I’ve heard on the news that demand is DOWN. “Dramatic drop in driving” were the exact words they used. It’s the speculating that’s causing the high prices. I’m tired of people blaming consumers when it’s clear that a lot of consumers ARE cutting back on vacations and unnecessary driving.

Speaking of high gas prices, Female Offspring #1 and I were out shopping last weekend and we pulled next to a beautiful cherry Hummer. Now I hate the Hummer and I think it’s abso-freaking-lutely insane to be driving them unless you live in really rough in the Himalayas. But the paint job on this thing was gorgeous. I pointed it out to FO #1 who immediately began writing something on a piece of paper. When we passed the Hummer, she stuck the paper on the windshield. I asked her if she was complimenting them on the color, and she said, “No, I ’thanked’ them for hogging enough gasoline for four people.“

Advertising phrase that grates on my nerves these days? “Where you at?” All the nuns who taught me English are turning over in their graves hearing that. Well, I guess they is.

Gotta love how McCain keeps using the phrase “transcendental challenge” in all of his recent speeches. Politicians try to pretty all this shit up in the hopes that we’re too stupid to understand what they’re saying. In his new tv spot, he uses the word ‘war’ four times in just seconds.

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