Tuesday, April 22, 2008

well we're waiting here in allentown, for the pennsylvania we never found

As you know, because the news outlets refuse to let us forget, today is the Pennsylvania Primary. I, for one, can’t wait. l’m sick of all these taped political messages I’m getting on my answering machine. I’m actually looking forward to more of those exciting messages from Mom that go something like this: “Are you there? pick up. Are you there? pick up. Why aren‘t you picking up? I know you’re there. Are you there?” You can tell the “Do Not Call” law was written by a politician because their intrusive messages are exempt. Bastards.

The offspring have been ragging on me because I didn’t attend any of the political rallies that have taken place in the city in the last week or two. It’s been a regular Clintonapalozza here. First, Bill, then Chelsea, then Hillary, and now Bill again. And in the back of my mind I know that we will NEVER. SEE. THESE. PEOPLE. IN. THIS. TOWN. AGAIN.
The conversations went something like this:

Female Offspring #2: “Mom, are you going to see Hillary Clinton?”

Me: “No, I’m working that day. You know I‘m too damn tired to do anything after a 10 hour work day.”

Male Offspring #3: “Well, Chelsea will be in Central Park. Are you going to see her?”

Me: “No, I’m off that day. You know I’m too damn tired to do anything on my days off because when I’m working, I work 10 hour days.” If you remind them often enough, they will leave you alone….

Female Offspring #2: “Mom! When the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile came to town, it was all you talked about for weeks! You took off work, then you got up six hours early to be the first one standing in line.”

Me: “That was different. I took off work and got up early because I thought I was going to get a free hot dog. Or one of those incredibly cool Weinermobile whistles. Gawd, I love those whistles. I could blow that all day long.”

Male Offspring #7: “I bet if Hillary gave away free hot dogs, she’d win.”

Male Offspring #6: “I bet if Hillary gave away free whistles shaped like breasts, she’d win. And I bet if they had hot dogs shaped like breasts, guys would eat them every day.”
Male Offspring #6 is in that “breast loving” phase, which I hear lasts from the day a male is born until the day he dies…or is turned gay.

Female Offspring #2: “Stop talking about breasts! Mom, you really should make an effort to see hear these speeches.”

Me: “Hey, I watch the Daily Show AND The Colbert Report. I am a well-informed American. Now turn on FOX so I can get some completely unbiased news.”

When you do vote today, Pennsylvanians, remember the words of Ben Franklin, who said, "Well DONE is better than well SAID."

I woke up this morning with the song “Superstar” going through my head, which is weird since I hardly know the song. I kept hearing the lyrics
“you are what you say you are, a superstar…” I got out to the car this morning and started it and wasn’t paying much attention to the song on the radio until I heard the last line of the lyrics. It was “you are what you say you are, a superstar, Then have no fear…” That is so freaky.

I’m backing Holly off on the thyroid medicine a week or so. I think it’s building up in her system, the same way it does in people. Saturday she was up pacing and barking around all night. And natch, she decided to sleep in MY room, instead of Mr. G’s. He was off the next day, I wasn’t. Every hour or so, she’d get up, shake off and nudge me with her nose, as if to say, “Come on! Get up!” and I’d say, “It’s *insert time here* in the morning. I am NOT getting up now. Go to sleep!!”

I had to include this news story because for some reason it just made me laugh. I mean I can almost see these two in the hallway…”You move!” “No, you move! I was here first!” Oy. Grow up.
Two Polk County sheriff's deputies were suspended without pay after getting into a pushing match with one another in their home.
Deputies say Robin and William Pagoria, who are married and work for the Polk County sheriff's office, got into an argument Friday when one refused to move out of another's way. Deputies say the argument became physical and both ended up being arrested.
The pair was charged with battery and suspended. They have been working for the sheriff's office since 2005.

The woman who plays Ashlee on the Guiding Light is having gastric bypass on the show because apparently she had it done in real life. I'm happy for her if this is her choice, but I'm sad to see this happen. It seems like every time there is an overweight woman on tv--which is VERY rare--they're forced--either subtly or not so subtly--to lose weight. Whether it's from overt pressure from the network or peers, or personal pressure people put on themselves because they're "different," the message always ends up being that we all must look the same--thin--or we're worthless. I was really happy to see Caitlin Van Zandt on GL because she's not the usual daytime actress. I was happy that she was able to do something few women have been able to do. She was a role model for young women of size in that if she could do it, they could do it, and now I'm sad that she's "conforming" right along with all the others.


The Future Was Yesterday said...

"Two Polk County sheriff's deputies were suspended without pay after getting into a pushing match with one another in their home. "
Acting out our frustrations a bit, are we?:) I wonder who steps aside to let who buy groceries now.:)

"As you know, because the news outlets refuse to let us forget, today is the Pennsylvania Primary."
I knew it was coming up, but I didn't know when. ESPN doesn't do politics, and damn if my TV habits are going to change until this bullshit is over!!

"And in the back of my mind I know that we will NEVER. SEE. THESE. PEOPLE. IN. THIS. TOWN. AGAIN."
An intelligent voter. Even worse, are the people that believe the candidates are actually going to do any of that bullshit they spout while in PA.

BRUNO said...

FUTURE WAS YESTERDAY has it 110% correct on the intelligent voter comment---I echo that sentiment!

And I don't even live in PA. It smells the same way down here in MO.!

Nor can I believe how many fall for that. But then again---tell 'em what they WANT to hear, not what they DON'T WANT to acknowledge as fact...!

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Girl #2 is a friggin' nag from hell, and boy #6 is a genious.

BBC said...


*rolls eyes*

I don't want to vote for any of them, but I think Obama is the best pick considering that we have to vote for one of them.