Tuesday, April 22, 2008

i'm not so think as you drunk i am

Thanks, Bugs!

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no
coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or
on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning

4 comments:

BBC said...

:-)

I don't use many big words when I'm sober. Word smiths like them because they think it makes them seem more intelligent.

I do most of my drinking safely at home, it avoids possible problems and I haven't woke up with an ugly woman for about 40 years. LOL

Mushy said...

Hilarious!

Mushy said...

P.S. I tried some of those last night!

BRUNO said...

Hey babe, you've got a new idea for a reality show---"Drunken College Professors"!

Can't be any worse than that freakin'-assed show called "Numbers"!

Poor bastard has pussy hangin' off'n him at every turn---and all HE wants to do is play with a chalkboard, and "oogly-googly" signs, or somethin'! Geez, fella---get REAL already, piss on those logrithrims, or whatever the shit they're called!

Ought to show it to the prisoners in the county jail each night for punishment---and give 'em credit for time served.....!