My girlfriend is considering dating someone she met online. She’s nervous about it, so I told her I would come up with a little test she can give him to discern his mental state.
Feel free to print it out and pass it around to all your friends who are also considering internet dating.
1. We have an argument and you’re very angry. Do you:
a. Walk away and allow yourself to cool down
b. Sulk in silence
c. Chop me into little pieces and stash me under the front porch.
2. What is your sexual type:
3. Which of these well known people do you most identify with:
a. Ron Jeremy
b. David Beckham
c. Charles Manson
4. Which group best describes your favorite type of music:
a. The Osmonds
b. The Stones
c. The Killers
5. Your favorite way to spend your free time:
a. Hunting/fishing/anything outdoorsy
b. Football/basketball/anything ballsy
6. Your favorite moment in American politics is:
a. Bill Clinton blowing his wad on Monica Lewinsky
b. George Bush Sr. tossing his salad on the Japanese Prime Minister
c. Ted Kennedy "accidentally" making a turn on the Chappaquiddick Bridge
7. We’re married and my mother wants to come live with us. You:
a. Adamantly refuse
b. Bitch, but eventually give in, and learn to coexist with her
c. Lace her Ensure with cyanide
8. Your favorite movie is:
a. Ernest Goes to Camp
b. Brokeback Mountain
c. Natural Born Killers
9. Your fantasy vacation is:
a. Backpacking across Europe
b. Skiing in Vail
c. An isolated cabin deep in the woods where no one can hear a person screams
10. We go to a bar and you order your favorite drink for me to try. It is:
a. Scotch and water
b. Gin and Tonic
c. Rohypnol and Coke
Mostly A’s: you’re a fun guy, whose willing to try adventurous things!
Mostly B’s: you’re a tad immature, but a good woman could mold you into a wonderful spouse!
Mostly C’s: congratulations! you're psycho!