Monday, March 24, 2008

it was all in vain

Thank you, Jack Van Impe for providing me with a much needed excuse to get out of EVERYTHING. Even though Mr. G has
forbidden me to watch this dude's show--because it scares the crap out of me for days--my boss was watching and yes, I shamelessly listened in!
Jack is positive the end of the world is coming December 21, 2012. And oh, is he ever gleeful about it. I never saw an individual so thrilled to see complete annihilation.
I got home from work this evening, and Mr. G said, 'Don't forget, it's your turn to do dishes." I said, "Honey, what's the point? The world is going to end in four years anyway." I used that excuse all evening. It was fantastic! Mr. G wanted me to help him string the clothes lines outside. "Who cares about clean clothes? The world is going to end soon." Mr. G wanted me to show him how to make pork chops. "Why eat? The world is crashing to an end in four years."
Mr. G wanted sex. "Count me in!" Hey! The world's gonna end in four years. I have to get all I can.
Nothing worse than getting sucked up in to Heaven when you're horny and throbbing.

The other afternoon I saw Paula Poundstone on Comedy Central and I have to say, she was very funny. I don't know when the show was
taped, but it was after her legal troubles because she made several references to them. Too bad she hasn't learned to dress herself.

Wow. I had a close call with the cops yesterday. As per my usual Holy Saturday celebrating, I hit back quite a bit of Jack Daniels and then I went
out driving around in da court, screaming obscenities at my neighbors. Luckily, most of my neighbors are raging alcoholics so they were out sceaming at me.
Then I saw the police car pull in and I quickly hightailed it back to my trailer.
Phew! How embarrassing would it be to be arrested for an HUI: Hoverounding Under the Influence.

5 comments:

Mushy said...

It's always been puzzling to me how we are all so afraid of the end...but we go 'round spouting 'bout how wonderful it's goin' to be up there. Why put it off...let's get up a load now!

Funny!

BBC said...

"I went out driving around in da court, screaming obscenities at my neighbors. Luckily, most of my neighbors are raging alcoholics so they were out sceaming at me."

Ha, ha, ha, good times?

Right, on the sex, you go girl.

Alexander said...

I swear to God, this 2012 thing better be good and not as lame as that Y2K thing...

*Goddess* said...

Yeah, maybe we can avoid the whole water shortage in ten years by ending the world in four;)

Lin said...

Yep, figure that the world can't get too much warmer in four years so that's another bright side thing in its favor, that and not having to deal with too many more of these elections. Does seem ironic for a televangelist to be pimping a Mayan calendar date though.