Sunday, March 30, 2008

let's all go to the lobby

I watched Crash last night. Yaya, I'm only three years behind in my movies, but I have to say I thought it was an excellent film. The scene where the cop was rescuing the woman from the burning car had me literally on the edge of my seat. When they pulled him out first and she was still inside,
I kept thinking, "OMG! They're making him leave her there!" then he went back and got her...damn. Another riveting scene was when the store owner shot the lock smith. Excellent movie.
Anyway, I put the DVD in and I was trying to watch some of COPS while the disc was loading and I thought, "Is it my imagination or is it taking forever for this movie to start?" I went back after the movie was over to the first scene and this is what I saw: (first screen) Lion's Gate Film; (second screen) Bob Yari Productions; (third screen) DEJ Productions; (fourth screen) Bulls Eye Entertainment; (fifth screen) Lion's Gate Films, Bob Yari Productions and DEJ Productions present; (sixth screen) a Blackjack friars Bridge and Harris Company Production; (seventh screen) an Appollo Screen Production; (eighth screen) A Bulleyes Entertainment Production and FINALLY the fricking NINTH SCREEN "A Film by Paul Haggis" before it went into the cast. That is fricking ridiculous. They could have put all of that on one screen.

in more ways than one i'm sure....

How to get a quick and cheap divorce....
A man robbed a bank and took hostages. He asked the first hostage "Did you see me rob the bank".

The hostage answered "Yes", so the robber shot him.

He then asked the second hostage, "Did you see me rob the bank?"

The hostage replied, "No, but I'm pretty sure my wife did."

let's support the "minorities"

Received this in an email....

We need to show more sympathy for these people.
* They travel miles in the heat.
* They risk their lives crossing a border.
* They don't get paid enough wages.
* They do jobs that others won't do or are afraid to do.
* They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a different language.
* They rarely see their families, and they face adversity all day every day.

I'm not talking about illegal Mexicans; I'm talking about our troops!

Doesn't it seem strange that many Democrats and Republicans are willing to lavish all kinds of social benefits on illegals, but don't support our troops and are now threatening to defund them?
Pass it on!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

healthy living

If you're interested in healing your body naturally, bookmark Mike Adam's NaturalNews site.

If you take cholesterol lowering meds, here's an interesting article. How deceiving those commercials can be, huh?

Here's a good article on the dangers of dryer sheets, something you might want to keep in mind if you have young children. It wasn't until recently that I realized the dryer sheets I was using caused me to wake up congested every morning. Thank God summer is here and I can use good old Mother Nature to dry my sheets and pillowcases.

And yet another good article on antibiotics and how they do NOT cure yeast infections. I know for a fact they don't cure bacterial infections and yet the doctors just keep shoving them at you until you gradually wise up and find alternative, healthy cures.

this is so cute

I love how babies find humor in the smallest of things. Too bad we lose the ability to find joy everywhere as we get older.

Friday, March 28, 2008

hee haw

President George Bush said each one of us would
get a $600.00 tax rebate. It was previously slated to be
$800.00, but they dropped it to a $600.00 tax rebate
because of various budget problems.

Now, if we spend that money at Wal-Mart,
all the money will go to China, if we spend it on
computers, most of the money will go to Korea or India.

If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs

.....and none of these scenarios will help the American

We need to keep that money here in America the
only way to keep that money here at home is to drink beer,
gamble, or spend it on prostitution. Currently it seems that
these are the only businesses still left in the U.S.

I'm Elliot Spitzer and I approve of this message.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

you make me feel like dancin'

Oh, puhleeze. Where were these damn things when I was birthin' 'em left and right?!

Due to a sudden scheduling change, I started work an hour later today. This is my last day of exercising before I take off two days to rest. That annoying little voice inside my head kept saying, "Get up NOW and exercise BEFORE work! You know how hard it is to do it at 7 pm." To rationalize using the hour to sleep, I said, "Yes, but I feel exercise helps me relax after a long day at work." That little voice persisted, "You're going to regret this later in the day."
So I did the only thing I could do: I told that little voice to fuck off and I fell back to sleep for an hour.

Now Gub'ner Paterson is admitting to using drugs. Shut up and do your job.
And McGreevy's boyfriend is saying he had sex with McGreevy and his wife. Ok, we get it. You're bigger whores than the strangers you screw around with. Newsflash: we only care about sex scandals when someone digs them up, drops the bomb and you deny it. We don't want to hear you confessing your sins. BOOOOORING. There's no fun in that. Besides, who cares? The world's going to end in 2012 anyway.

According to his tax statements, Obama and his wife made nearly $1 million dollars last year. Tell me again how he doesn't fit the presidential profile because he's a "po' black man," Rev. Wright!

I get annoyed the way news programs exaggerate to hold your attention. This morning Robin said on CNN, "Chelsea Clinton gets blindsided by a question about her father's affair with Monica Lewinsky." Hardly. The chick asked her if she felt Monica Lewinsky hurt her mother's reputation, in light of the fact that Hilary released information this week indicating that she was in the White House when the encounters took place. Chelsea told the chick she was the first person to ask her anything like that in the 70 colleges she visited, and that it was none of her business, but I felt it was a legitimate question considering. Besides, Chelsea isn't a little kid anymore, and if she's going to be stumping on her mother's behalf then she needs to know these sorts of things will come up. I'm sure there are a lot of people who wonder exactly what her feelings are in relation to her mother and father and their handling of that big mess. Granted that doesn't give us a right to an answer, but that's not going to stop people from asking. The cynic in me feels that some day, a reporter will ask the right questions and get the answers. All that requires is the right amount of monetary incentive.

Monday, March 24, 2008

you'll probably move right through me on my way to you

Mr. G thought he was being so clever when he saw his sister on Saturday and casually asked her when she was
going to visit their mother at the home. She said Sunday afternoon.
So he went in the morning to avoid her. Who walks in two minutes after he gets there?
His sister. LOL! I said, "She either knows how to read you really well, or she was lying, hoping to avoid you, too!"

"Step It Up and Dance." Just what the world needs. Another boring dance show.

A couple weeks ago, I bought a beautiful chocolate brown button up sweater. (Think Mr. Rogers but with good taste.) I haven't owned a button up sweater in years, but the whole "chocolate brown" thing sucked me right in. Let me say that it wasn't until I got this sweater that I realized how many screws without nuts, wood slivers, sharp corners and jutting nails I come in contact with every day.

Hmmm, so now David Paterson has admitted to having affairs on his wife, too.
Geez, are there any guys in politics who haven't fucked around on their wives?

it was all in vain

Thank you, Jack Van Impe for providing me with a much needed excuse to get out of EVERYTHING. Even though Mr. G has
forbidden me to watch this dude's show--because it scares the crap out of me for days--my boss was watching and yes, I shamelessly listened in!
Jack is positive the end of the world is coming December 21, 2012. And oh, is he ever gleeful about it. I never saw an individual so thrilled to see complete annihilation.
I got home from work this evening, and Mr. G said, 'Don't forget, it's your turn to do dishes." I said, "Honey, what's the point? The world is going to end in four years anyway." I used that excuse all evening. It was fantastic! Mr. G wanted me to help him string the clothes lines outside. "Who cares about clean clothes? The world is going to end soon." Mr. G wanted me to show him how to make pork chops. "Why eat? The world is crashing to an end in four years."
Mr. G wanted sex. "Count me in!" Hey! The world's gonna end in four years. I have to get all I can.
Nothing worse than getting sucked up in to Heaven when you're horny and throbbing.

The other afternoon I saw Paula Poundstone on Comedy Central and I have to say, she was very funny. I don't know when the show was
taped, but it was after her legal troubles because she made several references to them. Too bad she hasn't learned to dress herself.

Wow. I had a close call with the cops yesterday. As per my usual Holy Saturday celebrating, I hit back quite a bit of Jack Daniels and then I went
out driving around in da court, screaming obscenities at my neighbors. Luckily, most of my neighbors are raging alcoholics so they were out sceaming at me.
Then I saw the police car pull in and I quickly hightailed it back to my trailer.
Phew! How embarrassing would it be to be arrested for an HUI: Hoverounding Under the Influence.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

scene on my fridge

I never know WHAT I'm going to find when I walk into the kitchen anymore....

Five minutes later....

BTW, I think I've figured out the identity of my less than stellar speller: Male Offspring Number "Too"....


Saturday, March 22, 2008

here comes peter cottontail

There was some sort of healthy eating fair going on at Female Offspring #3's school this week, and she was asked to bring in a salad for the class. I asked her if she needed me to pick up any vegetables, and she said those three little words every mom loves to hear, "I'll handle it." Today when I got home from work, there was a message on my answering machine asking me to call her teacher. Apparently the "salad" she made wasn't up to their healthy eating standards. This is what she made: She diced four apples and four Snicker bars. Then she made a box of vanilla pudding and mixed it with a container of Cool Whip. She let that sit for two hours before mixing all of it together. When I heard this, I was TOTALLY PISSED. I had NO IDEA she was that good of a cook!

I felt it was time to sit the offspring down and explain to them about the finances. I had $50 in my hand and I said, "I can either go shopping and buy you Easter candy which you will woof down in about 12 minutes OR I can use this money to buy gas to go to work for the week and earn $ to pay our bills. The decision is in your hands, BUT make sure you think it through carefully." So we're going out to buy candy tomorrow and apparently I have the week off.

I ordered my Gateway laptop battery, and the email said it will take 3-4 weeks arrival time. Apparently it's walking over from China...

Mr. G called me at work on Friday and said, "You'll be in your glory." I said, "Why?" and he said, "Because your COPS 20th Anniversary DVD set arrived." YAY! Too bad I'm too damn tired to even look at it. I'm off to bed, kids! I was up after midnight Thursday cleaning and washing clothes. Brrrrrr....that is so not like me. Now let us never speak of this again.

apparently "trix" are for rabbits...

Friday, March 21, 2008

Thursday, March 20, 2008

a senior moment

Never a dull moment when I'm hanging out with my gf Teri. We were running around this morning picking up Easter flowers for her mother, my mother and my boss, and we passed the area arena.

She read the sign aloud, "Senior Hoops Basketball," then in a really shocked tone she said, "OMG! They make senior citizens play basketball?! "

I LMAO. I said, "I think they're referring to high school seniors."

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

i'm salivating

Damn! Look how cool the new Gateway One is! I WANT ONE!!
And it's only a mere $1700....

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

i took a page out of my rulebook for you

One of those 80's songs you're afraid to admit you really like.
You can tell it's the 80's from the flats and leggings...oy!

Monday, March 17, 2008

hippity hoppity easter's on it's way

Just when I think kids know more about sex than we'll ever know.....
Aluminum foil? Oy.

I love how after Heather Mills gets 48.6 mill from Paul McCartney, she says the 1.2 mill she saved by representing herself "could" easily go to charity. And that she was thrilled by the judge's decision because she could "get on with the work of helping so many" through her charities. Yeah, with HIS money. I'm surprised she got as much as she did, considering the fact that he made the majority of his money before he ever met her.
Why he didn't have the intelligence to get a pre-nup is beyond me.
I LMAO when she said that $70k a year for her daughter wasn't enough, despite the fact that McCartney would be paying for the child's nanny fees and her schooling. Greedy, greedy, greedy. I'd love to know how much of the $70k actually gets spent on the child.

It was bad enough when Y&R brought back Knot's Landing cast members Joan Van Ark and Ted Shackelford, NOW they brought Bronson Pinchot, the doofus who used to play Balki on Perfect Strangers. UGH. I know times are tough, but can't they afford REAL actors?

Geez Louise, with Easter coming so quickly on the heels of St. Patrick's Day, I'm forced to
cram all my Easter clip art into one week! That's bullshit! You know how I loves me clip art. Bugs is probably yelling, "YES!" right about now.

You know how John Bunnell drives me bonkers with his goofy shitck on World's Wildest Videos?
Sure you do. I've mentioned it more than a person should have to.
The other day he actually said something that had me rolling. It was during the story of a guy who shoplifted two pairs of pants by putting them on under his own pants. He made it out into the parking lot but the police were waiting. They started running after him and finally the guy realized he wasn't going to get away. Bunnell said, "The crook is slowing down. After all, he's wearing three pairs of pants." LOL!


Ok, since the folks on Hott Cops are no help, did anyone see last night's episode of Law & Order SVU starring Melissa Joan Hart as a school teacher? I want to know how it ended, who raped whom?

why did throw my old couch out?

I could have turned it into a tree swing for the offspring....LOL! Thanks, Kari!

top o' the morning to ya!

Happy St. Paddy's Day! We had a beautiful 50° day Friday before the temps plunged back into the 30's. This is nature's way of dicking with us. I don't think anyone should be surprised by the fact that Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island was arrested for being a pothead. After all, she thought Gilligan was attractive and you'd HAVE to be stoned to think that string bean had it going on.

I was reading through the Publisher's Clearing House sale items and one
was a 2 CD set entitled "The Essential John Denver." An oxymoron if ever there was one.

I was over on This is what the owners SAY the purpose of the site is: "It is the hope of the site’s founders that citizens and departments alike will use this powerful tool as a way of monitoring police performance. Officers who do their job well will receive the public attention they deserve.
So will the dishonorable few who try to hide misconduct behind the power of their badge." Personally I think it's going to quickly turn into a slam site. Here's an example of one of the comments that was left on this site: "He abuses everything, and also is very racist to his own kind. He likes to stop mostly women just to check them out."

My question: How do they know the difference between someone who is posting with a legitimate complaint and someone who is posting because they have a personal vendetta against the officer? As long as these people are promised anonymity, it's going to be a free for all. Saying someone is a racist and a womanizer is not commenting constructively. They are PERSONAL OPINIONS someone has formed of this officer, and they are not helpful in any way, shape or form to the PD he works for to improve his performance. Besides, how do we know he's a womanizer? Has this person seen him sexing it up on the highway? And racist to his own kind? GMAFB. Crap like this comes off sounding like a personal vendetta against the officer. Allowing anonymous people to leave garbage like this is what's going to ruin any credibility their site hopes to achieve.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

i keep bleeding love

Great song. The first time I heard this on the radio, I thought it was Celine Dion. Thank God it wasn't, cuz I like it...LOL!

everybody aqua doodle!

I received my paycheck from the work I'd done at the personal care home. How freaking depressing. Two sixteen hour
days and I only made 2/3's of the amount of money I need to buy a new laptop battery for $150. Minimum wage to take care of people's every need.

I was watching Men In Trees, and Jack asked Marin to move in with him. They've been sexing it up off and on since the show started. While laying in bed after yet another sexual encounter, she said, "I have to admit I'm nervous about skipping over the dating part. I mean, we hardly know each other."
And that, in a nutshell, is what's wrong with so many relationships today. People give away the most intimate part of themselves to people they don't really know.
On a side note, I have to say I LOVE Lauren Tom's portrayal of Mai Washington on MIT. She's quirky, irreverant and funny, and I wish more eps would revolve around her.

OMG. As if tv show choices aren't bad enough....

Friday, March 14, 2008

is there an echo in here?

This is that doggone dog commercial that makes me cry every time I see it, this picture in particular.

This is Echo from the Pedigree commercial. Look how sad and pathetic he looks as the folks adopting a dog are walking away leaving him. DAMN YOU, PEDIGREE!!!

Here he is. Still waiting..........lonely and sad

But guess what?! In the newest commercial, ECHO HAS BEEN ADOPTED!! I wanted to adopt the damn dog myself after that ad.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, he's a sweetie.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

stop and stare, i think i'm moving but i go nowhere

WORDS OF WISDOM: "Elliot Spitzer said he'd clean up the government, and by leaving, he did just that."
The Daily Show

The high cost of food has created some havoc with our Easter celebration this year. I can no longer afford to buy several dozen of eggs for the offspring to color.
(Remember the year they forgot to hard boil them first? That was a treat.)
This year we will use plastic Easter eggs instead of the real thing. God only knows what the after Easter potato salad is going to taste like. I'm guessing crunchy.

This is a question for people who have "real" teeth--not veneers or lumineers (and yes, I know lumineers go over real teeth), caps or false teeth--and have had their teeth professionally whitened.
Do "real" teeth actually get white like lumineers or do they just get lighter when the stains come off? I've been using GoSmile and while the stains are getting lighter, it occurs to me that my teeth are never going to be "white" because I don't think real teeth ARE white.
But GoSmile is far from professional, so I'm wondering if the professional whitening actually makes the teeth white.

Why do we need the Mother's Act? Just one more way for the blood sucking drug companies to get their damn anti-depressants pimped out to more of the population. I love where it says the exact cause of PPD isn't known, but women have been cured by their drugs.
Let's not even THINK about attacking PPD from a nutrition/vitamin/healthy eating angle. Let's just drag out the drugs. The government needs to keep it's nose OUT of women's bodies. Go dick with the guys for a change.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

i only want to see if you're ok when i'm not around

I think my desktop computer finally died. I can't believe it! It was ONLY 9 years old! Every time I try to start it up, it starts bringing up all these drivers that need installed, like my printer and it keeps starting in DOS mode. I tried messing with it, but I'm sick of dealing with it. I immediately started campaigning for a new one, but you know how Mr. G is....sigh. I ended up buying a wireless mouse for him to use on my laptop, but the way he's banging the keys is giving me a headache.
I keep trying to explain to him that the laptop is more sensitive than the old desktop keyboard was. Oy. Every five minutes I'm rushing into the room going, "Honey, don't push those keys so hard! I can hear you in the bedroom."
Then he says, "Ok," and goes right back to banging the keys! I'm guess I'm a tad more protective of my sweet, little laptop, but she's been veddy, veddy goot to me! Besides, she's all I have now that the desktop is kerplooey.

This pisses me off. Some guy wrote to the paper about Hilary Clinton and he said, "It is obvious that Clinton is cold and calculating. Her bid for the Senate representing New York was premeditated for her eventual bid for the White House." Well DUH. If Hilary hadn't run for Senator, jerks like this would be the first ones to say she had no experience. And if this had been a M.A.N., her actions wouldn't be seen as "cold and calculating." They'd be seen as smart and thoughtful, the actions of a man who took the time to carefully plot out his political future. Now I don't know who I'm going to vote for. I don't want Obama, but I sure as hell don't want another Republican in office.
I can't stand McCain.

i'm hearing what you say but i just can't make a sound

Clinton's coming to town! And he'll be like a minute from where I work. I'd like to see him.
Not in a political way, but in an "OMG! are those Secret Service guys ever HOTT!!" kind of way.
Seriously, I would like to SEE him. I don't want to HEAR him, but it would be cool to see a President in person. 'Cept for Bush. Blech.

The Church is closing one of the area Catholic grade schools, despite the fact that enrollment is up and parents are feverishly trying to raise funds for next year's budget. There is no doubt in my mind that the Church won't lift a finger to help these parents. It's their way. In a statement released to the press, the diocese spokesperson said, "To continue to operate a school that would strain Church resources is poor stewardship of money." Yes, much better to spend that money paying pedophile lawsuit settlements than to educate children.
Wouldn't Jesus be proud?

It's a sign of the times. Every year at Easter, eggs are on sale for 49 or 59 cents. This year, when eggs are like $2.35 a dozen, nobody has them on sale.
WTH is the Easter Bunny supposed to do?!

I was watching Dana McGreevy on The Today Show this morning, and Lauer was interviewing her about
the prostitution mess that's playing out with New York's gub'ner. Lauer asked her why she and other wives of politicians stand beside their man when they fuck up.
She said, "I did it for my children. I would hope that some day my children would thank me for supporting their father." WTH?! Kids never thank us for anything.
If my husband slept with common prostitutes and exposed me to God only knows what sort of diseases, standing beside him in support would be the LAST thing on my mind. I don't give a damn how many kids I have. Let's think for a second about what sort of message this REALLY sends the governor's teenage daughters. "Your dad can treat me like crap and I'll stand by him. Your dad can put my life at risk and it's ok." Because let's remember, this wasn't just an affair, it was affairs with prostitutes. Women who spread their legs for anybody who has the cash.
Ugh. If my dad cheated on my mother and she "sucked it up," I don't think I'd have much respect for her.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

you say goodbye and i say hello

Bugs sent this link of snow pics from the latest storm to hit Ohio. I love the one of the deer eating out of the bird feeder! LOL!

When Female Offspring #7 started talking leprechaun traps yesterday, I wanted to cry. Not THAT again. How many years will it take for her to figure out that the only thing she's going to catch is the cat? And sadly, one of her older (dumber) brothers.
I said, "Let's make this easy on you and me. Instead of traps, we're going to put out your brother's change jar.
And there's $5 in it for you if you never mention the words "leprechaun" and "traps" in the same sentence again."

Sunday, March 09, 2008

let it ride

A big "HI!" to Bugs, who is snowed in in Ohio.

I was reading an article in the paper about Arelia Taveras, a former lawyer and tv commentator, who is trying to sue several casinos for $20 million dollars because she felt they should have recognized she had a gambling problem and stopped her. She lost her law practice, her apartment, her parent's home and $58K. She said she would gamble for days on end, sometimes passing out at the tables because she hadn't slept in four or five days. I'm wondering why she feels the gambling industry should have recognized her problem when she didn't even see it in herself until it was way too late? In my opinion, she is trying to take the easy way out here finding a quick fix to her debt problems to avoid prison for stealing from her client's escrow accounts, and is not acknowledging ANY personal responsiblity. Let's look at this on the flip side: suppose she was winning thousands of dollars and the casino owners said, "Hey, you're not allowed to gamble here anymore because we're concerned about your welfare." This woman would have been the first to say, "I have a right to gamble. Mind your own damn business." It isn't the casino owner's responsiblity to babysit their patrons.

I was watching a show on E! that had red carpet moments on it. They showed Ryan Sechrest interviewing Jennifer Garner, and Gary Busey stuck his head in and said something to Sechrest, which prompted him to introduce Busey to Garner. Busey hugged a clearly surprised Garner, then I guess he kissed her on the neck. The chick on TruTV's celebrity news show said of this same meeting, "And later, a Red Carpet encounter that left Jennifer Garner terrified". Terrified? Talk about sensationalism.

What a week I have had. Ok to recap: Overtime Hawg told my co-worker that we were going to lose our jobs at the end of March, so I applied for a job at the personal care home where Mr. G's mother lives and I got the job. I finished up my 10 days at my "first" job, and the woman at the care home wanted me to get in a couple shifts on my three and a half days off before I went back to my "first" job and finished out my two week's notice. I worked Wednesday from 10 pm -6 am, and the woman who trained me told me all of the negative stuff that happened there. By the time the shift was over, I just wanted to sit down and cry. The thought of having a job like that for years depressed the hell out of me. The next day I was scheduled to work 2 pm to 10 pm. I got exactly two hours of sleep in between shifts. I was too wound up to sleep. Before I went to work, I decided to call Boss #1 and ask her if the rumor was really true--yeah, I know, I should have done that right in the beginning. But I couldn't get ahold of her. So I went to work and the woman I worked with was really nice and helpful and kept me busy all evening. By the time the night was over, my back was killing me, but I was willing to take the job. I knew all the residents by name, and managed to talk to all but one of them. I knew the names and faces of all but two employees AND I knew the layout of the home, which believe me, was a freaking nightmare. Residents were scattered all over the building. Several of them asked me when I'd be back and they were really encouraging. Well, the ones that weren't on heavy meds...
I got four hours of sleep and woke up Friday morning to go back to my "first" job to give notice and finish out my shifts. (In three days, I had eight hours of sleep, but I was running on adrenaline. It finally hit me BIG TIME last night.) Before the boss was up, I went to put her paper on her chair and saw a bank statement laying on her desk. Yes, I looked. I admit it. Then I called my co-worker and asked if she had heard anything else about the job. I never said anything about the bank statement to her, but let's just say reading it, I knew I had jumped the gun. She said she asked OT H one more time about the job and she gave her the same story: she heard the boss crying and asked her what was wrong and she said she had to go to a home. Then OT H said to my co-worker, "Don't tell Goddess, but we're going to lose our jobs at the end of this month after Easter." Immediately the whole "don't tell Goddess" thing had me intrigued. Why didn't she want me to know? Was it because she would take great delight in me falling on my face? Yeah, I'm sure she would. Was it because she wanted my co-worker to quit so she could take all of her nightshifts and finally dump dayshift, which she hates, and which is what my co-worker has been saying for months? Or was it because she knew I'd ask?
When I questioned her on this, she said, "OT H told me not to tell you because if you mentioned it to the boss,
she might not get a good reference because she couldn't keep her mouth shut about their business." As IF that twit DESERVES a good reference!
I called the boss and told her what OT H said, and her response was, "That's a bunch of BULLSHIT! What the hell is wrong with her?!" [I found out later that she and OT H had a huge argument the previous day.] She guesstimates that we have about five more months of work, God willing that my boss stays healthy. SOOOOO, I called Mr. G at work and we discussed it. He said he was supportive of whatever I decided because after hearing all the things that went on at work, he realized working in the nursing home wasn't as "EASY" as his mother kept saying it was. Hell, it's easy for her, she's just sitting there watching tv! She doesn't see what goes on in all the resident's rooms. But I didn't want Mr. G to do what he did when this came up last week. The first thing he said was, "You should have found something new back in December when you first heard she was running out of money."
I said, "Yeah, BUT I would have lost 2/3's of my income had I done it back then, and I don't think it's worth it."
He said that to me about ten times last weekend. When I pointed that out, he said, "I know I shouldn't have said that. You brought in a lot of money in January and February."
I decided to tell the woman at the nursing care home that I had changed my mind and why--that wasn't easy, but I was polite and I apologized twice for any inconvenience. Since they've been losing workers left and right, I don't think it's the first time this has happened.
One HUGE downside to working at the home is this: it's a minimum care facility [meaning most of the residents are able to care for themselves, but might need help dressing and bathing] and she has people there that do not belong there. Out of the 23 residents, about 10 of them have no control of their bladder/bowels. So my back was really sore for two days after lifting and rolling some of the residents. I was also incredibly depressed by the fact that the women employees are exactly the same as at my "first" job, but on a grander scale because there are more of them. The first shift I had they talked about people on the other shifts, and on the second shift I worked, they were talking about the person they had worked with the day before. UGH. This is why I'd like to get a job with guys. They don't play these bullshit games. Except for the gays.
One "feminine gay man" (think Jack on Will & Grace. think Richard Simmons) has the drama equivalent of 300 hetero men. Sorry, gays, but you know it's true!
I pointed out to Mr. G that there are no guys working at the home and that I thought the male residents would feel more comfortable with other men.
He said, "Nah, I think they enjoy showing the women their penises." Sigh.
One of the funny things that happened at the home: I was talking to one of the mentally retarded women who lives there.
I told her my name and that I was going to be working there. This was around 11 pm on the first night. For some odd reason, a lot of the residents seem to get up around 5 am and start watching tv. I was walking through the living room and she was sitting on the couch, and I said, "Are you up already?! It's too early to watch tv."
She looked at me and said, "HEY! There was a girl here last night that looked just like you!"

Friday, March 07, 2008

chicken man! he's everywhere! he's everywhere!

Extra points if you know what that post title refers to.....

I finally got to see Chicken Run. Who knew chickens were so damn handy with tools?! And who knew so many of them spoke with British accents?

My favorite lines from the DVD were:

Chicken #2: "The fences aren't just 'round the farm. They're up here--in your heads."

Chicken #1: "Were you out for a holiday?"
Chicken #2: "I was in solitary confinement!"
Chicken #1: "Always nice to have time to yourself."

Chicken #2: "We'll either die free chickens or die trying."
Chicken #1: "Are those the only choices?"

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

i will be calling you

The first time I heard this song on the radio, I couldn't get over how stalkerish it sounded. Then I dl'ed it from Amazon and I've been hooked on it ever since. Damn Karma. Bites me in the ass every time. BTW, ignore the stupid video that goes with it. Ugh.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

geeses to pieces

I know this is a legitimate business and as such, I shouldn't laugh, but it just strikes me as extremely hilarious. I know the geese can be a serious PITA, but using the dogs seems like the sort of system we employ here in the Fall with leaves: we blow our leaves into the neighbor's yard and let THEM worry about them.

K9 dog: "I work for the police, sniffing out drugs and bombs. What do you do?"
Border Collie: "I scare the bejesus out of geese."

if you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?

This morning I woke to TEN INCHES PLUS and yes! the word "stud" was in snow fall and studded tires. Actually I think we have about fifteen inches out there. It took me over an hour to get to work last night, and I didn't have to worry about the plow blocking me in my parking space BECAUSE THEY NEVER PLOWED! From 3:30 yesterday afternoon till I left at 7:30 this morning, they couldn't manage to get one plow down the street. I shoveled for 45 minutes around the car and the sidewalks. Of course, the weathermen were all over this one before it happened--calling for "three to six inches". Inaccurate Weatherman strikes again!
For once the roads were actually better at home than they were at work. It's usually always the other way around because I'm a country mouse and my boss is a city mouse. On the upside, Mr. G is off with me today and he promised to slip me HIS ten inches;)

Joel McHale is so funny on The Soup. Last night he was talking about a new book the Olsen twins are writing about "people who influenced them". Joel said, "Insiders say their interview with Hello Kitty is riveting."