Wednesday, February 13, 2008

home again home again jiggity jig

I'M FINALLY HOME!! YAY!! I had to work three shifts in a row, so it was 34 long hours away from home. And those damn cupcakes. I called last night and asked Female Offspring #6 what she intended to do since they pigged down all the cupcakes for the party. She said, "Oh, didn't I tell you? I goofed. There was no party." Well, well, well. Didn't that just work out PERFECTLY for those little ingrates?! They spent the day off of school in a trailer with 50 cupcakes and no parental supervision.

Lordy, I love dicking with my husband. I gave him his Valentine's Day card,
then I sat there waiting for his response. I know it drives him up the wall because he doesn't know what he's supposed to say. Generally it's, 'mmm, nice card'. So today he read the card and said, "mmmm, nice card," and I said, "Yes, but what do you think of the significance of the words I chose? What does the card say to you?" He said, "It says, 'you bought me at Dollar General for ninety nine cents'! Now knock it off." LOL!

I couldn't figure out why I was building up a callus on my pointer finger of my left hand.
At first, I thought it was because of typing. But I figured I used the pad of my fingertips more for typing, and if that were the case, I'd have them on all fingers. Then I realized it was because I use that finger to left click on my laptop. Dang. I knew I was on the computer alot, but wow. I didn't realize I'm on THAT much.

I read that in order to wash your hands long enough to make it count, you need to sing the first verse of Happy Birthday. I decided to try it out honestly and see how long I really washed my hands. So I pumped some soap on my hands and began to sing. "Happy birthday t--" and this is right where I'd normally be finished washing. Damn. I'm supposedly not getting the benefits of cleaning and yet the antibacterial soap has made my hands as dry as my martinis.

Gary Coleman revealed he was secretly married in August. His new wife said, "I just want my own identity as well because I don't want to be known as Gary Coleman's wife." Quite frankly, I don't foresee that as being much of a problem. Not like the dude's a big star in demand.

I really enjoy reading
Steve Rose's column in the AJC, but geez it would get old quick. He puts out a funny column and the next thing ya know the commenters are all fighting amongst themselves over petty bullshit, totally ignoring his great article. Welcome to the jerk filled internet.

1 comment:

The Future Was Yesterday said...

His new wife said, "I just want my own identity as well because I don't want to be known as Gary Coleman's wife."
She's just married but she doesn't want to be known as Gary Coleman's wife. Then WTF did she marry the little prick for anyway? To be known as One Less Available Bitch?