In my never ending quest to see what my Lab would really do if I suffered a heart attack, I faked up another biggie last night while she was chewing on her bone. Fell face first into the carpet, clutching my chest and making all the appropriate "I'm dying, if only there was someone to save me!" noises on the way down. At first she ignored me, then she put her bone on my ass and continued chewing it. Great. So if I did have a heart attack, I'd wind up in the ER with teeth marks all over my ass. How can I twist that into one of those "my dawg saved my life!" stories?!
Because it was really cold the last few days, I took over bird feeding duties during the day while Mr. G was at work. Then I boasted about how much they liked my food trays better. I'm sorry, but tossing slices of bread on the ground blows. I took those aluminum turkey trays and began with a layer of ripped up slices of bread. Small, convenient bite sizes for their little bird (and squirrel and ground hog) mouths. Then I layered that with peanuts in their shells. The Blue Jays LOVE them. Then I layered on a couple handfuls of wild bird seed, fruit and nut mix. Not the cheap Dollar General stuff Mr. G buys. I finished with chunks of peanut butter suet to warm their little bird bodies. Mr. G said, "Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but they ate the bread I tossed out for them, too."
I said, "Of course they did. But when they saw ME coming they landed on my arms and shoulders and began singing, 'Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near' by the Carpenters. Besides, they LOVED the fact that I took the time to buy them suet."
He said, "Oh, yeah, check the dog's mouth. Last I saw her, she was up under the tree eating all the peanut butter suet." GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!