Monday, January 14, 2008

goin' down that long, lonesome highway, bound for the mountains and the plains

What I'm listening to: Fatboy Slim
What I'm reading: "Writing the Great American Romance Novel."
What I'm eating: everything in sight
What important thoughts am I thinking: do I do enough to help others? do I matter?
do I still have that Snicker bar hidden under the couch cushion? and will anyone catch me eating it and force me to share?

Sylvester Stallone has made the wise decision to NOT appear shirtless in his upcoming Rambo movie. Thank you, Sly. Now if you could have just talked some sense into Tim Allen.

There was a $300 charge on my credit card that I didn't identify so I called the company. Seems someone in
my family ordered 50 tins of mins shaped like crosses and 75 packets of jelly bean treats called "Colors of Faith".
Gee, I wonder which Bible totin' offspring that was?
Male Offspring #5 said he's going to pass them out to all of his friends on Valentine's Day.
At which point, Male Offspring #1 yelled, "Friends? You don't have any friends!"

I am embarrassed to say that I went on one hell of a bender last night.
At some point I must have passed out. When I woke up, there were open containers everywhere.
Gawd, I'm so ashamed. I know this stuff is no good for me, and yet I continue to indulge whenever I can. Now I"m sneaking it.
In one night, I had key lime pie, strawberry, peaches and cream and Boston cream pie. Oh, did I mention this was a low fat yogurt bender? Yogurt that I shouldn't even be eating because I'm lactose intolerant! I'm also lactose close-minded. I BLAME THE YOGURT INDUSTRY!! Those oddly shaped six ounce containers are hardly enough to fill up a three week old. I have to grind my spoon around the edges about 50 times to get all the yogurt that sticks under the edge of that dumb container. No, it's not lickable like a box of ice cream. Plus, yogurt is thin and smooth, and it just slides down your throat and fills in the empty spaces of your belly. Fine. it's loaded with sugar, damn it, which is why I've been sucking it down by the gallon lately. There. I said it.

My boss had the TV on this morning and some entertainment show had yet ANOTHER story about Britney Spears, and they began with, "...in this continuing story that will not die." Gee, I wonder WHY it doesn't die? The ironic thing is that I don't think Britney was this popular with the media when she was popular. I think it's sad they're cataloging every screw up she makes, then they always add that fake sincerity bullshit saying how "concerned" they are for the children. Yeah, that's why they're constantly belittling every move their mother makes on world wide television.

"Queen Latifah announced yesterday that she's joining the Jenny Craig weight management program in an ad campaign beginning this month. Queen's campaign will be a little bit different -- emphasizing a healthy lifestyle rather than getting into a specific dress size."
Translation: just in case she doesn't lose much weight, she's covering her bases ahead of time. Makes you wonder why she's even bother--oh, yeah...the $$$$.

9 comments:

BBC said...

I just watched The War of the Rose's.
Okay, I'm cured... LOL

As for Britney, everyone loves to hear about the problems of others. The caring is just fake crap, I don't feel for her at all.

BRUNO said...

Sly Stallone is too damned OLD to be playin' the part of "poor shit-on Rambo, the REAL American hero" anymore. I can't STAND that "Rambo-shit" to begin with! The REAL shit ain't as pretty and clean-cut as the air-conditioned, soft-seated movie house is---DUH-HUH!

Besides---Stallone as Rambo, is about as sensible as ME playin' the lead male vocalist in "The Sound Of Music"! And co-starring with Oprah Winfrey!

Yep---some things are best left original...!

*Goddess* said...

I've only seen The War of the Roses in bits and pieces, but last person to review it said how great it was.

*Goddess* said...

Bruno, if you make it, I will come! LOL...

BTW, did you see your favorite lady just got herself a television STATION?!

BRUNO said...

Is it COLOR, or plain ol' BLACK and WHITE???

Ah-ha-ha---OOOH!~!~

*Goddess* said...

LOL! No comment;)

Lin said...

Goddess, this is quasi OT but your yogurt binge and the fact that you have a dog got me thinking about this:

Virgil said that feeding yogurt to Brou would help lessen his vile farting. Have you ever tried this? Hey, I am being serious for a change, kid you not!

*Goddess* said...

Oddly, my dog does not have gas. At least not much that I've ever noticed. We feed her that Ultra Natural food and if I'm not mistaken it has yogurt in it. I remember reading it on the label and thinking it was odd to give a dog yogurt.

*Goddess* said...

Oddly, my dog does not have gas. At least not much that I've ever noticed. We feed her that Ultra Natural food and if I'm not mistaken it has yogurt in it. I remember reading it on the label and thinking it was odd to give a dog yogurt.