Sunday, November 04, 2007

you're a real tough cookie with a long history of breaking little hearts like the one in me

Mr. G brought home his mother's 37" screen tv and what a change from our old 21 incher. My COPS looked suh-weet on that big screen. These guys are way more handsome than I even realized! The best part is I can finally get Mr. G to use headphones so I don't have to feel like I'm sitting smack dab in the middle of Heinz Stadium every time the game is on.

One of my co-workers said she started drinking ginger tea because it helped with arthritis.
I started drinking it and while it took a little getting used to the taste, it does work well. I only had a problem with my finger joints--my knuckles would be stiff in the morning--and it's made a big difference. It's weird but ginger always makes me think of my dad's mother who used to give us Ginger Snap cookies all the time. I used to think they were incredibly crunchy. Turns out she was feeding us the stale ones.

I started looking through the Christmas toy books with the offspring so they can pick out their toys.
Sure, it's early, BUT the more sophisticated the toy, the more time I need to come up with an excuse as to why "Santa" won't be able to bring it. Female Offspring #7 has been hounding me for WEEKS to buy this "FurReal Friends Cat Value Pack." Buy it? I didn't even know what it was. So I finally checked it out and it's a mother cat and her kitten. When you pet their fur, they open and close their eyes, swish their tails and purr. All for a mere $40. I said, "Don't we have two real cats?" She said, "Yeah, but I don't have to feed these cats, brush them or clean their litterbox." I said, "And when have you EVER done any of that?" Female Offspring #5 wants a "Barbie Girls" doll and MP3 player in one. I said, "It's my job as your mother to ruin your self-esteem, thus ruining your entire life. It is not my job to ruin your hearing. Do that on your own time." Male Offspring #6 wants a "Poo-Lar Bear". If you haven't seen this, you're in for a sweet treat....that has been POOPED out of the bear. The tagline on the box says, "The sub-zero poopin' hero!" I don't even have to ask to know this thing was created by a guy. Guys have a morbid fascination with their poop. I will be the first to admit that I LOVE CANDY. But no way am I eating anything that comes out of an animal's butt. Male Offspring #8 pointed to a 4 slice toaster in the flyer. I take that as a clear sign he wants one. What an amazing coincidence that I happen to need one.

OMG. The Soup totally ripped the chicks on "Grey's Anatomy" and their upcoming spin off.
They mocked it with their own spin off called "Women Are Stupid and Horny and Like To Eat Cake." They talked about how professional women were not only incredibly stupid in their relationship choices, but they were horny and liked to eat cake. That is so sexis----mmmmm, I love cake.....

I was watching Disorderly Conduct this afternoon and two troopers were making an arrest on the side of a busy highway.
One trooper was outside the cruiser and the other was inside with his K9 dog and the suspect. Out of nowhere a truck crossed the highway and smashed into the back of the cruiser. The trooper in the car was barely responsive, and the other trooper kept calling his name. Then he said, "Are you okay, baby?" Ok, I don't EVER want to hear one male cop call another male cop 'baby'...EVER!! They also had a segment with a bride. She made a ruckus at the reception when the bar was shut down. She started throwing things--including gifts--and screaming, so they arrested her. When she was at the station, she was ranting about everyone in her family, including her beloved groom. She said, "I need to cut his dick off. That's what I need to do." And "I hope he rots in hell along with his two inch dick." She said he threw her out of the car three weeks earlier while going 90 mph. Well, no wonder she snapped him right up. He's a gem. As is she. When the cop called her husband to tell him she could go home, she screamed, "Tell him I want a divorce!" The best part is that after all that, they made up and went on their honeymoon. Aww, ain't love grand? After seeing that segment, I wouldn't sleep too soundly if I were him. Snip, snip and all that.

They showed King Tut's face during a CNN news story today.
Hmm, not much of a hottie. I'll take a pass, thanks.

Whitney on "The Hills" was having a party and they showed a clip of the church she planned to use on The Soup. She mentioned the confessionals and another woman with her said, "Right, we could cover those."
Whitney said, "I was thinking we could turn them into photo booths." The Soup host Joel McHale said, "Bless me Father for I have--CHEESE!" He is so damn funny. I'm glad Bugs got me watching this again. I used to love it when Greg Kinnear was host, but hated it when Roger Lodge took over.

I was watching some of "Intervention" on A&E this afternoon. It's sad how quickly someone can derail their life. And scary, too.

12 comments:

BRUNO said...

Yeah, poor ol' Tut! Buck-toothed as hell!

And, they said the FACE was the "best part of the mummy."

What're they gonna DO---EAT the poor bastard??? Talk about DRY Thanksgiving meat....!!!

SpongyBones said...

Do you think King Tut picked out toys for Christmas, or had a pooping critter ... maybe he did and that made him all ugly on the inside and outside!

The Future Was Yesterday said...

"Ok, I don't EVER want to hear one male cop call another male cop 'baby'...EVER!!"
The times, they is changing.:) We've got a few down here I suspect are wearing Mommy's underwear.:)

"When she was at the station, she was ranting about everyone in her family, including her beloved groom. She said, "I need to cut his dick off. That's what I need to do."And "I hope he rots in hell along with his two inch dick.""
And you yell about US inventing a candy crapping bear?:)

At least the bear gives a shit. Hopefully.

Dustin said...

"Mr. G brought home his mother's 37" screen tv and what a change from our old 21 incher. My COPS looked suh-weet on that big screen. "

Try a 56 Inch projection TV. I bought my husband one for xmas a few years back (leased at a rent to own kinda thing), and its amazing watching TV on it!

*Goddess* said...

Bruno, I don't even know why they care what Tut looked like. They should have just checked his driver's license picture;)

*Goddess* said...

Spongy, I'm thinking Tut's "toys" were all made of solid gold.

*Goddess* said...

"Mommy's underwear", Future? Thanks for that visual:(

*Goddess* said...

FIFTY-SIX INCHES, Dustin?! Holy shit. I'll bet movies look fantastic on that.

Dustin said...

Yes, they do, especially in High Def!

Lin said...

Keep that ginger tea around when the snow hits. If you get a deep chill, it will help drive it out in a hurry.

CHEWY said...

I knew I read about Ginger Tea somewhere! Finally found my way back to the source. (For a minute I thought I had only dreamed about it.)

david mcmahon said...

That would be King Tut-Tut!!