Tuesday, November 20, 2007

over the river and through the woods

Every time Oprah has one of those Christmas gift giveaway shows, you always have at least one African American woman in the audience with her hands raised to the Heavens, praising Jesus for the "stuff," because we know Jesus is all about the "stuff".

I am getting Female Offspring #7 a Honeybee Hop and I'm NOT asking for opinions!
Yes, it's exercise not so cleverly disguised as "fun," but I'm buying it anyway!

I was watching some entertainment show while eating breakfast yesterday and they were talking about how Britney Spears ran over a photographer's toe. Then they showed her trying to leave a parking lot and the press were pushed up against her car on the driver's side, passenger side and across the front of the hood, snapping
picture after picture. And I mean pressed right up against the car. One guy was leaning across her windshield
with his camera pointed in her face. They're damn lucky she only ran over one guy's FOOT. They snap one picture,
why do they need to continue snapping 90 more? It would be enough to frazzle anyone's nerves. Now the jerk
will probably turn around and sue her for damages. Frankly, I think they get what they deserve for invading
someone's privacy as much as they are hers. Gawd, I never thought I'd be defending Britney Spears...

Bugs sent me this link, along with the question, "when did we get so lazy?" I'm thinking it was right about the time The Clapper was invented.

I love the commercial for Bissell Pet Hair Eraser where the couple talks about how they used to have a pet hair problem,
but they've solved it. It shows them and everything in the entire house wearing plastic covers...LOL!
I like the one, too, where the little frog tells his mother he can't sleep because his throat is scratchy. He says, "It's like I have a me in my throat!"

Several months ago, the doctor wanted to put Mr. G on Actos, but he refused to take it after reading
that it could cause heart failure in people who don't even have a history of heart problems. The medical community
must REALLY be pushing this medicine because for the last four days there has been a two page
spread in our newspaper from the Takeda Pharmaceutical company talking about how SAFE the product is. Well, 1/2 of the first page talks
about how safe it is. The second 1/2 of the first page and the entire second page lists all the side effects. The print is teeny and it STILL takes up
the entire page. Kinda defeats the purpose of convincing people how safe it is, if ya ask me.

Oy, TV. I was watching an episode of Crossing Jordan, which I have never seen before. They were after
drug dealers and the one cop confronts THREE drug dealers with AK47 assault rifles. He's holding two little hand guns
and tells them to drop their weapons. They're standing like ten feet away from each other and the dealers back down
when they hear police sirens approaching. Yeah, right. Could we make it a tad more unrealistic?

5 comments:

Mushy said...

All our holidays are about STUFF!

I'm sure Jesus is very proud of us.

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Aw hell, all those holidays were always about stuff. The church tried to make them about God a thousand years ago, but it didn't stick. Folks like stuff more anyway. God's only a hit when the sky is falling. Folks need him/her/it when real shit goes down and the stuff fails them.

BRUNO said...

D-Oh!!! DAMMIT!!! FHB beat me to it---AGAIN!!!

He must be smarter than he is handsome...!!!

BBC said...

"because we know Jesus is all about the "stuff."

No shit? Jesus was about bitching about everything he saw and didn't like, drinking a bunch of wine with his buddies, and pouring the pork to Mary.

And others downwind from him wrote a bunch of bullshit about him. Just saying.

The Future Was Yesterday said...

"Jesus is the reason for the season."
Yeah. And the season is gluttony on a grand scale!