Friday, November 30, 2007

AHA! so I'm not the only one who hates this song...

"Dying mom shoe scam"...LOL! No wonder I hate this song. Thanks for sending, Bugs:)

and maaaaaany more!

Happy Birthday to Richard Freeman! Hope it's a good one:) I'm sure he'll appreciate the teddy bear clip art....LOL!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

i need a little angel sitting on my shoulder

I was watching some of the Republican debate on CNN and in response to a woman's question about unsafe, imported toys, one senator, whose name I didn't catch, (I think it was Senator Hunter) said that we should buy American toys and American products this year. Rah, rah. What a patriotic idea. Now tell me, where the hell do you even FIND American made toys and American made clothing?! The fact that we don't even have many manufacturing jobs in the U.S. anymore is a huge part of the problem. And after listening to him for an hour, I HOPE to God someone buys Senator Giuliani false teeth that actually FIT for Christmas. Senator Ron Paul said it the best, "It's time to take care of America FIRST."

If I never hear the song "The Christmas Shoes" again as long as I live, I'll die a happy woman.

A big round of applause to those Indiana tree farmers who are sending twenty thousand Christmas trees to the troops overseas and in the U.S. What a great idea. I commend them for thinking of it.

Mr. G and I had a nice day off together yesterday. We spent most of it running errands, piddling around at the library, and I had to go to the chiropractor, but it was fun being off together.
We visited his mother and she's doing really well at the personal care home.
She always SAID she didn't want to be around people, but at the same time she was incredibly lonely. But she's thriving there and it's obvious she was in need of companionship, despite what she said.

After we visited her, we stopped up at her house to check on things and discovered Mr. G's sister had taken everything that wasn't nailed down,
despite the fact that they agreed certain things would remain in the house. He called her up and wanted to know what happened to the kitchen table and chairs, and she gave her usual, "I needed that." We know she's selling everything and keeping the money. It's her m.o.
As if he wasn't angry enough about that, we came home and her husband called and told Mr. G he wanted to borrow the lawn mower and weed eater we'd gotten from his mother. This is the same brother in law who phoned my husband and called him every name in the book during the whole coin collection fiasco.
THEN he said, "And I don't have any gas, so how about bringing some of that?"
My husband said, "Surely you have your own lawn mower and weed eater?"
And he said, "Ours doesn't work and I want to cut down some weeds." It's almost December. What weeds are growing now?
My husband said, "I have the mowers winterized," and he hung up. And indeed, he'd just put that stabilizer stuff in them the day before.
Then my husband said, "I know damn well he'll take the mower and the weed eater and I'll never see them again. They took everything out of that house they could and now they're trying to take the few things we got."
I've noticed that people who are greedy and money hungry never seem to be satisfied with what they have. They're constantly scheming to get more. Must be part of their hell on earth. And the sad thing is my husband said, "I'm so sick of my sister's greedy ways that I can't wait until I don't have to deal with her anymore."

While we were grocery shopping the other day, I bought some new teas. I love a good cup of herbal tea on a cold winter's night. We bought "Honey Vanilla Chamomile" and "Blueberry". I was rather skeptical of the blueberry, but it is delicious, as is the honey vanilla chamomile. My co-worker was telling me about a tea she purchased that was chocolate, caramel and cloves. An odd combination, but she said it was really good. I also bought eggnog tea, but I couldn't get into it. Totally smelled like eggnog, but it seemed strange to me to drink eggnog as a tea when I was used to the thick milky version.

We took Holly for her check up Monday night. The last time we took her, she weighed 98#'s. The vet told us he wanted us to get her down to 90#'s. So we switched to Nutro Weight Management dog food, cut out all the crappy Dollar General treats and only gave her 2 Weight Management bisquits. Last night she weighed 112#'s! Immediately the vet started talking to us about some freaking diet pill for dogs that only works while they're on it. I said, "How about checking her thyriod because I KNOW we are NOT overfeeding that dog. I have been very careful to only give her the three cups like it says on the label and she walks 3/4 - 1 mile EVERY DAY, seven days a week." The vet came back and said the normal range of thyroid hormone was something like 0.25 and the machine registers as low as 0.05. Holly's was so low that it didn't even register. On one hand, I'm glad we know what's wrong with her, on the other she has to take these pills the rest of her life, with blood work every three months. Oy.
My husband said, "When we were kids, we never took our dogs or cats to the vets and they lived a long life."
Yeah, but they weren't eating all this garbage processed dog food, getting vaccinations or drinking fluoridated water.
In other words, our attempts to make them "healthier" is probably what's killing them. Much like it's killing us.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

we've been to the top, we've been to the bottom

Yesterday was a holy day in Pennsylvania: First Day of Buck Season. The schools were closed, as were some businesses and I know this because Mr. G called all in a huff. He said, "I've been trying all morning to reach someone at Pepsi to confirm deliveries, and no one has been answering. Finally a woman answered and said, "Sir, we're closed. Don't you know this is the first day of buck season?" He said, "I don't care what it is. We need Pepsi delivered today!" He is such a non-hunter:)

How STUPID do you have to be to ask the cops to help you locate a car you stole?

I should HOPE she was wearing a "fake" mustache considering the robber was female. What I give to see a copy of the surveillance picture, doggone it!

I baked Chicken Parmesan ala Stacey yesterday before I left for work and it must have been a big hit. I made two big pans PLANNING to freeze some, and when I came home this morning, one pan was empty. I ended up having chicken Parmesan for breakfast. Yes, I was fresh out of peanut M&M's.

Mr. G and I went grocery shopping Sunday morning after I got home from work. Now I know that's not "World War III" type news, but I can't remember the last time we grocery shopped together. Usually I just throw $40 or $50 at him and say, "You'll take care of that, won't you, honey?" And he does cuz he's the bargain hunter type shopper. I'm the "I don't care if it's two cents cheaper at BiLo, just grab it while we're here!" type

I couldn't find a video of it on youtube, but I love the Shadow T Mobile commercial where the girl is introducing her bf to her father, the ex-cop.
They're standing on the doorstep, and when she intro's him, the father says, "You don't mind if I do a quick pat down, do you?" and he proceeds to frisk the guy. Then he grabs him by the collar and leads him into the house, the same way cops put someone into a police car. Very funny stuff.

Bugs sends this article about the 25 most baffling toys. #7 Pee and Poo are my favorite! Thanks, Bugs!

Ok, I watched "Christmas Caper" with Plow Guy last night and while I liked it, I have a couple gripes. For Pete's sake, how hard is it to get a REALISTIC sheriff's uniform? One minute he had the badge pinned to his shirt and the next he was wearing it on a jacket with a t shirt and jeans. I'm guessing he pins it on his jammies at bed time? Oy.
Second gripe: these movies tend to portray the small town cop as a clueless buffoon, and this was no different. Olsson had no idea his gf was a thief until her small niece clued him in. Pathetic. But I was willing to overlook that. I loved the scene
where Doherty, who said she wasn't a "morning person," schlepped her niece's and nephew's "balanced lunches" (still in their McDonald's bags),
into the school while wearing her pajamas and fuzzy slippers. LOL!

Monday, November 26, 2007

it's destined to be a classic...

Alex and I were talking about camcorders and I mentioned that I had never even used the camcorder feature on my digital camera. He said that most of them had crappy microphones, so I tried it and it actually
sounds pretty good.

And it only took a half hour to upload six seconds...

Sunday, November 25, 2007

better late than never

My gf sent me this to post for Thanksgiving and I forgot, but it's cute, so I'll post it anyway:)
I love the second one..."It looks nothing like him!" LOL!!

are you familiar with these?

They play it during the news in December. I remember seeing it on tv when I was a child. They'd play Suzy, Frosty the Snowman or Hardrock, Coco and Joe. I still know all the words to Suzy, but Hardrock, Coco and Joe were kinda scary. And Santa looks like he was born in Korea.

I think these were made in the early 50's.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

it's ho, ho, ho-liday movie time!!

While I'm writing this, I'm on listening to all sorts of Christmas music, commercial free! And I didn't have to download a doggone thing.

Wooo hoooo! Only the day after Thanksgiving and already I got to see "A Season For Miracles" last night.
I LOVE that movie. This was my 6th time seeing the movie. Now I'll have to read the book again. It's so much better.
Yesterday I watched, "A Season..," "Angel on Earth," and "Christmas Visitor."
Here's a list of observations after watching one too many holiday movies for
my review page:
1. Why are the stressed out, overworked people always ad execs?
2. Angels ARE NOT people and people DO NOT turn into angels.
3. Exactly what is Santa's "naughty or nice" criteria?
4. How many people really come back from the dead at Christmastime?
I only know of one, maybe two in my family.
5. If Santa keeps all the letters children write forever, he must have one hell of a filing system.
6. Santa has a shitty filing system.
7. Why does Santa get all hissy and refuse to work? He only works one farking day a year!
And really, the elves get stuck with all the labor.
8. Why does Mrs. Claus always nag? "Dress warmly, Nick. You'll catch a cold, Nick."
He lives at the North Pole. If he hasn't caught a cold by now, he never will.
9. Why does everyone around Santa always kiss his ass?
Reminds of that Twlight Zone ep with Billy Mumy, "Don't send me into the cornfield!"
10. Can't the true meaning of Christmas EVER be gifts? Must it always be about the LOVE?
11. The joy of giving--could there BE a crappier gift?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

pre holiday jitters

Dear Lord, before Thanksgiving Day arrives tomorrow, I hope and pray that news reporters will bombard us with stories on why our Thanksgiving dinner is costing more this year, as if we're too stupid to figure it out for ourselves, and how much exercise I'll have to do to work it off. Oh, and Lord? What a joy it would be to see daily stories on the rising cost of gas and oil, the mortgage crisis, global warming, how air travel during the holidays is a "nightmare," the increasing cost of heating our homes this winter, and the weakening U.S. economy!

We're going out for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow after I get off of work--as per usual for the last six years--and Mr. G asked me if I was going to pick up some wine or Jack or some Wild Turkey to drink at home later since we're both off Friday morning. I told him "no" because I'll be asleep inside of a half hour if I down any alcohol. I think I actually have a slight allergy to wine because as soon as I drink it my stomach gets hot and my face gets incredibly flush. What's my body's reaction to Jack, you ask? How would I know? I pass out long before I have a chance to find out. Anyway, I'd like to enjoy some of my evening.
I did insist he buy a pumpkin pie, though. Usually I like to make my own, but with working on the weekends now, I don't have the time.
The last two years in a row I was DYING for a piece of pumpkin pie, but didn't get any. Ryan's Steakhouse has THEE BEST Thanksgiving spread and it's only like $12 for all you can eat, BUT their dessert bar looks like a horde of wild pigs danced on it by the time we get there at 6 p.m. It's obvious their desserts are frozen, you can see them melting under the lights. The melting, combined with people who just don't give a shit, makes for one sloppy dessert bar.

Yesterday Oprah gave away a refrigerator that had a built in TV and DVD player on one door and a screen on the other door for a constant slide show of your photos. The cost was over $3500, but I'm wondering who is so addicted to TV that they have to have one built into their refrigerator?! It's bad enough we have them in our CARS. Geez. Oh, I could understand a built-in laptop in your fridge, but a TV? No way.

Wow, is it ever warm here today. Nooot that I'm complaining, but it's always weird to be wearing short sleeves in November.
I still remember the New Year's Day back in the early 80's when the day was so warm and sunny we were playing frisbee in the front yard.

Am I the only one that's creeped out by Neil Diamond's revelation that he wrote "Sweet Caroline" after seeing a picture of an 11 year old Caroline Kennedy? "Hands reaching out, touching you, touching me"? Ewwww.

While I love Plow Guy, I just realized he's the goofball in the Flash Gordon clip they keep showing on The Soup. Oy. He should hide his head in shame for participating in that movie.

I love how the doctor that performed plastic surgery on Kayne West's late mother came on the Larry King show to talk about how he wasn't going to talk about the surgery, then left! What was the point of coming on and wasting everyone's time?

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

over the river and through the woods

Every time Oprah has one of those Christmas gift giveaway shows, you always have at least one African American woman in the audience with her hands raised to the Heavens, praising Jesus for the "stuff," because we know Jesus is all about the "stuff".

I am getting Female Offspring #7 a Honeybee Hop and I'm NOT asking for opinions!
Yes, it's exercise not so cleverly disguised as "fun," but I'm buying it anyway!

I was watching some entertainment show while eating breakfast yesterday and they were talking about how Britney Spears ran over a photographer's toe. Then they showed her trying to leave a parking lot and the press were pushed up against her car on the driver's side, passenger side and across the front of the hood, snapping
picture after picture. And I mean pressed right up against the car. One guy was leaning across her windshield
with his camera pointed in her face. They're damn lucky she only ran over one guy's FOOT. They snap one picture,
why do they need to continue snapping 90 more? It would be enough to frazzle anyone's nerves. Now the jerk
will probably turn around and sue her for damages. Frankly, I think they get what they deserve for invading
someone's privacy as much as they are hers. Gawd, I never thought I'd be defending Britney Spears...

Bugs sent me this link, along with the question, "when did we get so lazy?" I'm thinking it was right about the time The Clapper was invented.

I love the commercial for Bissell Pet Hair Eraser where the couple talks about how they used to have a pet hair problem,
but they've solved it. It shows them and everything in the entire house wearing plastic covers...LOL!
I like the one, too, where the little frog tells his mother he can't sleep because his throat is scratchy. He says, "It's like I have a me in my throat!"

Several months ago, the doctor wanted to put Mr. G on Actos, but he refused to take it after reading
that it could cause heart failure in people who don't even have a history of heart problems. The medical community
must REALLY be pushing this medicine because for the last four days there has been a two page
spread in our newspaper from the Takeda Pharmaceutical company talking about how SAFE the product is. Well, 1/2 of the first page talks
about how safe it is. The second 1/2 of the first page and the entire second page lists all the side effects. The print is teeny and it STILL takes up
the entire page. Kinda defeats the purpose of convincing people how safe it is, if ya ask me.

Oy, TV. I was watching an episode of Crossing Jordan, which I have never seen before. They were after
drug dealers and the one cop confronts THREE drug dealers with AK47 assault rifles. He's holding two little hand guns
and tells them to drop their weapons. They're standing like ten feet away from each other and the dealers back down
when they hear police sirens approaching. Yeah, right. Could we make it a tad more unrealistic?

Monday, November 19, 2007

oh deer me

Lin, I answered your question about our heating system in the comment section of the post below, but these are the heaters I was talking about the other day. Anybody familiar with them?

I decided to get another opinion on the Fisher Price Smart Cycle, so I asked Male Offspring #3 what he thought about me buying an exercise bike/arcade game for Male Offspring #7. He said, "Sounds good to me, Mom. Maybe as a reward for getting all the answers right, you can let him clean his room."
I said, "FINE! Why don't I just get the boy a mini fridge for his room? That way he can eat alllll day long and never have to move a muscle!"
Now they all want mini fridges............and doggone it, so do I.
But now that I think about it, isn't that the American dream? A mini fridge in every room?! Or is it a widescreen in every room?

Speaking of the lovely upcoming Christmas holiday, I have to brace myself for an infestation of those stupid animated, white light reindeer people have in their front yards. Big Lots, Dollar General AND Rite Aid all have the damn things on sale.
They have the standing deer, grazing deer, and the jumping deer. And most people have at least two. Hmm, I think I need to borrow my dad's rifle and thin the herd.
Last year I saw an alarming rise in the popularity of the animated "grapevine" standing buck and feeding doe.
I'm sorry to report that this year they have added a penguin with a...sigh....scarf around it's neck. What? No penguin mittens?

Sunday, November 18, 2007

s.o.s. means someone help me

I was thinking about buying Male Offspring #7 the Smart Cycle from Fisher Price. It's a stationary exercise bike and an arcade learning game combined. According to the product hype--"the more they ride, the more they learn."
I asked Female Offspring #2 what she thought and she said, "Great, Mom. Combine two things
kids hate: exercise and learning. I'm sure it'll be a big hit on Christmas
morning. Why not just buy him a big pack of underwear and socks?"
Actually I was going to buy that, too.
I can't help but think that if they came up with a system like this for adults substituting porn for education, the world would be a hell of a lot skinnier place.

YAY! The TV Christmas movies are starting next week! Now I have to bug South to
help me rig up the DVD so I can record 'em. He'll be soooo happy.
BTW, our new TV is a flat screen. Goofy me, I thought the flat screen TV's were the know...FLAT ones. Turns out those are the LCD TV's, and the flat screens are the ones that are HUGE in the back. That's what we have.
The first movie I'm going to check out is "Christmas Caper," despite the fact that it stars Shannon Doherty. I'm willing to overlook that BECAUSE
the main guy in the movie is a sheriff's deputy or police officer AND the same dude who plays hottie Plow Guy on "Men in Trees"--Ty Olsson!
This movie better live up to the hype......that I've pretty much created inside my own head.

Once again, the thing that makes me the most discontent (and sad...sigh) at Christmas time are those damn jewelry commercials where the husband comes home with the perfect gift for his wfe. Sigh.

Color me bored. I was watching "Because of Winn Dixie" Saturday morning, and I kept thinking the pet store dude looked a lot like Dave Matthews, but I convinced myself it was Jeremy Piven because I couldn't remember ever hearing about Dave Matthews acting and because those two look a LOT alike. Then he started singing and i realized it WAS Dave Matthews.
And didn't I cry when that stupid dog came home in the end? Oy.
Then I watched this weird movie, Unfaithful, with Richard Gere and Diane Lane. It's one of those movies that's so bad you keep thinking, "why am I watching this garbage" as you continue to watch. Gere & Lane were a married couple whose relationship was threatened by her affair.
Here's the funny part, though: Gere and Lane were parents and their kid was Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle. Could they have picked an odder looking kid for their offspring?
The movie got totally ridiculous when Gere went to visit his wife's bf and was acting as emotional as if they were discussing the weather, then he suddenly slams a snow globe over the dude's head and kills him. It quickly got weirder and weirder until Gere is dumping the body in a land fill. Oy. The ending where Lane found out Gere murdered her bf and decided to just put it behind them was ludicrous. Gotta say, I love these movies where people drag a dead body wrapped in rugs through the hallways and the streets and nobody notices.
I was reading online reviews for this movie and one person said Harrison Ford did a fantastic job in this movie. Too bad it was really Richard Gere.
Personally, I thought he stunk and was acting like he was sleep walking through the entire movie. Hell, as boring as he was, I totally understand why Lane cheated on him with a young, hott dude.

Saw a commercial for "The Real Housewives of Orange County" and one of their brats was standing on a cliffside ready to jump into the water below. One of the mothers screamed, "It's too shallow!" and Female Offspring #1 yelled, "Not unlike this show!"

Mr. G and I were thinking about getting one of those electric heaters with the Amish mantle.
They were advertised in the newspaper for about $300 and the copy said the heater used the same amount of electricity as a coffee maker. Now I have no idea whether that means you can run it 24/7 on the same amount of electricity as a coffee maker or maybe just for an hour or so then suddenly it starts sucking up more watts than an electric dryer.
Mr. G goes to bed early because he has to be up around 2:30 a.m.
If I turn on the oil, the bedrooms get TREMENDOUSLY hot, but the living room, where we usually spend our time in the evening stays cold, so I was looking for something to plug in and use in the living room only. We used to have the kerosene heaters, but I'm not comfortable using those inside, especially with the dog. Does anybody have an experience with these heaters?

Saturday, November 17, 2007

write here, write now

Eh, crap. My gf sent me a link to a book called "Brandon and the BiPolar Bear." You know what this means, right? It means I'm rushed to finish MY book called, "Patty and the Post-Menopausal Pachyderm" and "Peggy, the PMS'ing Penguin." I already wrote the blurb for the "Peggy, the PMS'ing Penguin" book: "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to kill everyone around you." Now I just have to write the book.

I was reading a newspaper article about some rare bottles of Jack Daniels that were found during a raid in Lynchburg. (In my trailer, a "rare" bottle of Jack is any unopened bottle of Jack...) One spirit collector said, "A lot of these bottles are priceless. It's like having a rare painting." Yes, a painting that makes you drunk off your ass. Mmmmm, sweet tasting paintings...

Friday, November 16, 2007

i am sooooo not "it" anymore!!

Carol tagged me! And let me just say it was painful!!

Two names you go by (besides your given one):

1) Hey!


Two things you are wearing right now:

1) Henley & Jeans

2) 1/2 shot glass full of Jack Daniels....on my Henley

Two longest car rides:

1) Any car ride in which I have a full bladder

2) From home to Pittsburgh the first time, because I had no idea where I was going

Two of your favorite things to do:

1) Snuggle up with Holly and Mr G on a cold, snowy day

2) Drink a cup of herbal tea in the evenings....with Jack Daniels

Two things you want very badly at the moment:

1) A wealthy husband ....who won't care that I will continue to have sex with my current husband

2) Jack Daniels--a full bottle, please

Three animals you have or have had:

1) Black Lab--Holly

2) Orange tabby--Fluffy

3) My first dog--Jill (but I called her "Jilly Pepper" for some odd reason I can't explain)

Three things you ate today:

1) Breakfast - scrambly eggs and Jack Daniels

2) Lunch - hamburger on wheat bun and Jack Daniels

3) Gluten free brownie and Jack Daniels (I only drink the Jack to help digest my food...)

Two things you are doing tomorrow:

1) Work

2) More work

Two favorite holidays

1) Atlantic City when I was about 10

2) Two?! Who's had TWO?!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

thursday's lowdown

What a weird day it's been. It started out overcast, then turned sunny, then the temps dropped suddenly, and we had thunderstorms/sleet and now it's snowing. Yuck.

The "Land of the Free"? State and County officials in Maryland have announced they will send parents to jail if they don't submit their children to forced vaccinations. Attorney General Glenn F. Ivey, who said, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but it's got to get done." It's nice to know that as parents, we have a say in our child's health, isn't it? Interesting, too, that the preservative in the vaccinations, thimerosal, has been banned decades ago in many foreign countries. And I'm sure the fact that we have a lot of autism in children who were born seemingly healthy is purely coincidental.

I have a lot of respect for Kayne West for backing out of the Victoria Secret fashion show because he's grieving for his mother. I'm so tired of these celebs who perform the day after (or the day OF) their parent/sibling dies and then says, "They'd WANT me to do this show." I'm sure the loss of revenue has NOTHING to do with it. Isn't it amazing how we know so much about other people's feelings and what they want for us after they're dead?

I am feeling much, much better today. I spent ALL day cleaning out my bedroom, and I took SIX bags of stuff to St. V. de Pauls. FROM ONE ROOM. And here's the kicker--I couldn't even get to the closet because it's full of Female Offspring #1's crap. I emailed her and told her "get rid of it or I'm burning it" when she's home Thanksgiving weekend. Seven years she's been gone and she's still holding the closet hostage. I told her I didn't care if she kept the stuff above the closet, but I want the bottom cleaned out so I can store my sweeper, rug cleaner and standing Christmas decorations in it. She's got stacks and stacks of papers from GRADE SCHOOL packed in there. Enough is enough. All those bags to the thrift store and I never even touched Mr. G's stuff...LOL! But this cleaning has been good for my soul, so I think the next time I'm off, I'm going to work on another room and see if I can get the clutter OUT of this place.

*insert tirade here*

<---My current mood

It absolutely INFURIATES me when I have to clean house on my 3 1/2 days off. Why? Because the place is always a freaking pigsty by the time I'm off. I'm gone 57 hours a week, and guess who get stuck with the cleaning? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....
The clutter is what drives me crazy. And there's clutter everywhere since we've been trying to move some of the stuff we got from Mr. G's mother into the place and organize the stuff we have around it. I moved my bed out to make room for the new one, and now the old mattress/box springs are jammed into my tiny computer. Female Offspring #1 wants it, but right now we have no way of getting it down to Pittsburgh. So basically I can't turn sideways in the computer room.

Then Mr. G brought home old afghans and crappy blankets that I SPECIFICALLY told him NOT to bring and shoved them under the bed thinking I'm too dumb to see them, I guess. Tomorrow I'm getting up early, taking several garbage bags and going through the place until I've got a carload to take to St. Vincent de Paul's or Goodwill. I can't find places for the GOOD blankets I own, let alone crap that I don't want. I keep telling him to take the stuff to Goodwill so someone who really needs it can use it, but nooooooooo, it ends up here.

Every day he stops at the house to pick up mail, I say, "Do NOT bring one more thing from your mother's house," and I get an "I won't." Yesterday he brought home about 5 boxes of baby powder. I can't remember the last time any of us used baby powder. Today he brought home about 25 knives. I said, "Why do you keep bringing this JUNK home?!" He said, "We need knives." I said, "We need another drawer full of dull knives like we need another hole in the head." Add to the fact that I can't remember the last time we had a hunk of meat large enough to require a carving knife, and I'm ready to SCREAM. Now he has my knife drawer so jammed, I can't even close it.

I angry and frustrated, and I feel like I have PMS coming out every f'ing pore of my body. Other than that, things are jjuuuuuuust fine.

por favor

Can anyone give me advice on how to (or how YOU) broke a bad habit for good? I know the gum band technique but that's it.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


I just finished talking with my gf and she was telling me about the son of an acquaintance. We both know them to say "hello" and that's about all.

Their son was in a military group in college and very proud of that. He was recently stopped and charged with DUI, and he found out he was going to be kicked out of the military group. He became despondent over that and committed suicide over the weekend. He was a smart, good looking kid. 20 years old and his whole life ahead of him, but he couldn't forgive himself for one mistake.

We all have lessons to learn and some of them are quite painful. I think there are times that we are so focused on one goal, that we can't see that it isn't what's best for our growth. Life happens, things change and IN RETROSPECT, we often realize not getting our way was the best thing that ever happened to us. Sadly, he never gave himself a chance to find out what else life held in store for him.

My husband pointed out that it will be one horrible holiday season for this young man's family this year. I'm thinking many horrible holiday seasons to come.

jive talkin'

Give me one second. There's something I need to mark on the calendar before I begin today's post.
"On this date in 2007, WE HAD SEX TWO TIMES IN ONE MORNING!!"
Now I need to circle it several times, draw big black arrows all around it and slap a smiley sticker next to it to represent the big grin I have on my face.

Ok, now that I've taken care of that important bit of business...

So Pope Benedict will make his first visit to the U.S. as Pope in 2008.
The cynic in me is NOT screaming, "Gee, I wonder how many millions that will cost?" right now.
Ok, it is.

My NUMBER ONE PET PEEVE on soap forums are people who make up character names. Like "Brook" and "Ridge" are "Bridge". "Taylor" and "Nick" become "Tick." Sometimes I have no idea who they're talking about. It's freaking annoying.

bye, mushy!!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

lets get it started in here

I'd tell you to go out and hug a vet, but you know hugging leads to other things!!

I've often ordered from Figi's of Wisconsin and from time to time they include a small package of 2 or 3 Walker's Pure Butter Shortbread cookies with their gift packs. They make you seem like they're really high brow cookies with their "product of Scotland!" proclamation so proudly displayed on their label. So imagine my surprise when I walked into Dollar General this morning and found a 10 cookie pack for two freaking dollars.

Jon Stewart, talking about the protests he's gone to. "Then there was the Rodney King verdict. I heard the verdict and I thought "fuck the police!" I went outside and my friends were talking and we said, "Fuck the police!" So we went to this demonstration, 200 people in Times Square and one guy with a megaphone: "fuck the police!" We were just saying that! Let's march. "fuck the police!" "fuck the police!" "fuck the police!" Now there's 2000 of us, marching through the streets of New York City shouting "fuck the police!" and at that moment all hell broke loose. They were turning over cars, fighting and one guy had a gun. All I could think was, "where the FUCK are the police?"

I tried joining a Yahoo group yesterday. Instead of the usual email request, I was supposed to write why I wanted to join in 200 words or less. WTF? Is it a Yahoo group with dirty pics or a freaking essay test?
No damn wonder they only have two members in three years.
I should have sent him this: "I'm lonely and horny. Now let me see the damn pics."

Each time Elizabeth Hasselbeck has had her baby she keeps the name a secret and
announces it on The View, as if it's right on par with the second coming of Jesus.

tom tom, i don't know why but i love your commercial music music

It's just catchy catchy!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

follow the yellow brick road

A huge THANKS to Mike South
for spending the better part of the afternoon yesterday
helping me set up my TV/VCR/PIECE O'CRAP DVD/DIRECT TV box.
That having been said, here's Mike's problem: he's TOO FRICKING PATIENT.
He had me set up the TV/Direct TV box first, then we tried adding the DVD, but it wasn't working. I kept saying, "Forget the DVD. Just hook up the VCR."
But nay, he came up with this lamebrain idea that we set it up right to begin with----pffft!
Here's the best part, though. Mike fixed it for me juuuust in time for me to tape COPS Saturday night...LOL!
(It's hilarious because he's always kvetching that I yak about COPS (and cops) too much. Frankly, I don't think that's possible.)

I usually buy one new Christmas ornament or decoration each year and this year
I picked up a beautiful jingle bell snowflake. I loves me some jingle bells!
And may I just say, Big Lots, $25 for a freaking jingle bell wreath?! WTH are you kidding?!
I can get them for $8 at Dollar General, and they're just as purdy.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the news story concerning the girl who received 2 days detention for hugging two of her friends, one of whom had just lost her parent.
When they asked the school superinendent if this wasn't a bit extreme, he said, "Hugs lead to other things." What an idiot.
What's hugging going to lead to? Feelings of (GASP!) happiness? Or worse yet, friendship?!
The young girl involved made an incredibly astute observation, saying: "In DARE they tell us 'Hugs, not Drugs,' now they tell us we can't hug."
Should have gone with the drugs. No downside there.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

oh you can walk out on me tonight if you think that it ain't feelin' right

I am PISSED, PISSED, PISSED. I want to throw this stupid tv through the wall. And I would...if I had the strength to heft it.
I left everything connected exactly the way it was before we moved tv's. I only unhooked the cable into the tv. I *thought* it was working ok last night when I taped. I taped a little, then played back to test. Everything was fine. Then I tried to tape tonight and all I get is a frigging blue screen when I try to playback. GUH!! I hate this because Mr. G refuses to even learn anything about this stuff. It's always left to me. I should have told him he couldn't bring the tv into the house unless someone else set it up. I tried to tape my Court TV shows tonight and I WAS PISSED when I couldn't get it working right. I shouldn't have bought a separate VCR/DVD. If I'd bought a combo unit, I'd only have one thing to hook up. But I was concerned that if the VCR part of it broke, I'd have a worthless piece of equipment because I use the VCR way more than I do the DVD player. Now COPS is on tonight!!! Sigh. Gawd, where is Steve Huff when I need him?!

I watched Oprah on Friday with great interest. My former fiance, Donny Osmond, was on. Not a lot of people know I almost married Donny. Hell, I don't even think I told Bugs. I remember that time in my life so well. We planned a quiet wedding, just he, I and the entire Mormon Tuberculosis Choir. We were at the altar--or whatever those Mormon people call it--and he slipped the ring on my finger. Just as he was about to say, "I thee wed" some FREAKING IDIOT fell over the neighbor's foolproof tin cans on a string garden alarm and woke me up.
I should have been his wife, damn it! I was BORN to be a Mormon. And I have the child bearing hips and kids to prove it! Anyway, it was good to see Donny settled for that other chick he married. I know there's no getting over me.

Oooh, man, what I wouldn't have given to be a fly on the wall when my nephew walked into my overly Catholic mom's house wearing a t shirt that read "Mary is my homegirl". The Virgin Mary was depicted on the shirt. I'm guessing it wasn't pretty.
One time she was so offended by my nephew's "Blow Job: the only job I'll ever love" t shirt that she offered him $20 for it so she could burn it.
He took the money and when I asked him why he caved in, he told me it was his buddy's t shirt...LOL!

What am I missing here? The third wife of the officer who's wife is missing--I think their last name is Peterson--was found dead in a dry bathtub with a gash on the back of her head and it was ruled an "accidental drowning"? How does that work?

Sonny Perdue--hmmm, wonder if he's related to the Perdue chicken dude?--has asked the citizens of Georgia to pray for the increasing seriously drought situation in his state. Naturally, that's pissed off those people who think the word God should never pass over a politician's lips. These are probably the first people to blame God when there's a natural disaster.

When are the idiots at the G4 channel going to realize how low-brow the on-screen COPS 2.0 chat is? During the show they ask questions and people answer them at the bottom of the screen. One such question last night was "What do you collect?"
One person said "groins," another said, "toenail clippings" and another said tax evasion arrests. Yeah, that crap really adds to the show.

Wow. You know it's time to get a new desktop when you try to log onto Yahoo Mail and it says the new Yahoo Mail is not supported by your operating system. Sigh.

Friday, November 09, 2007

how to spot a redneck hunter with a DUI conviction

Thanks, Bugs!

trying to find anything that you feel you can believe in

I'm sorry, but you just DON'T piss with a woman's $4 pumpkin!!!

How do you feel about this?

"In an effort to reduce health care costs, employers are beginning to scrutinize the lifestyle habits of their employees -- even those that happen outside of business hours.

It’s commonplace for insurance companies to question clients about their smoking habits, weight, or other health issues. However, a new trend has employers screening employees and new job applicants for these same factors. The following factors could now put your job on the line:

1. Smoking
2. Blood pressure
3. Blood glucose levels
4. Body mass
5. Bad cholesterol levels

Currently only a small portion of U.S. employers have taken action against what they deem unhealthy behaviors, but the list is growing. For instance, in September 2007 The Cleveland Clinic began screening potential employees for nicotine. If any is found in their systems, they’re denied employment.

In 2009, another company, Clarian Health, plans to start charging employees $5 per paycheck if they are found using tobacco or to have abnormal levels of cholesterol or high blood pressure.

Meanwhile, employees at Weyco Incorporated can be charged $50 fees per paycheck not only if they smoke, but if their spouse smokes as well.

Privacy advocates are concerned that these monitoring trends will get out of hand, with employers charging fines for eating fast food or visiting a tavern. Most experts believe, however, that as health care costs continue to rise, employers will continue to enact penalties for unhealthy behaviors."

Thursday, November 08, 2007

baby, you're just overblown

Last night Male Offspring #3 asked me the name of the treaty that officially ended World War I. I said, "I believe that was thee ever popular Treaty of Versailles," and I said it in such a way that he didn't know if I was serious or not. Because, quite frankly, I didn't know if I was serious or not. If I'm wrong, I say, "See? You can't depend on others to do your homework. Look it up!" If I'm right, I say, "Well, of course, I'm right. Stop underestimating your mother. You act like all I've retained over the years is water." Hearing my answer, Mr. G said, "Honey, I'm impressed. That's the correct answer." I said, "Don't be too impressed. It was the first treaty that came to mind. Followed closely by the Treaty of Pancakes."

Michael Jackson on people thinking he's a "freak": "Every neighborhood has the guy who you don't see, so you gossip about him."
Puhleeze. Don't even get me started on the guy in my trailer court who sleeps with little boys, makes his kids wear masks in public and has an amusement park for a home...

My guess is perverts everywhere were rushing to the toy store today to pick up some Aqua Dots, a cheap alternative to buying GHB from a dealer.

YAY! Carrie Underwood won a CMAA for "Before He Cheats." Love that song!

I watched on CourtTV last night. What an interesting show. I don't know if it's going to be a series or just this one show, but it kept my attention.
It followed the story of Taylor Behl, who moved to Richmond, VA to attend college. Two weeks later, she turned up missing.
Steve Huff scoured her MySpace page and analyzed every aspect of it and her conversations with other people. He checked out all her friends and narrowed the suspect down to one guy. His diligence was amazing. Things that seemed like insignificant details to me turned out to be important bits of insight into the suspect and where Behl might be found.
People have a tend to exaggerate about themselves online, and I'm wondering how they know what is the truth when reading someone's journal?
I have to admit, Benjamin Fawley's version of what happened to Taylor the night she died was almost laughable. He said she died from rough, consensual sex. He said she wanted to experience being kidnapped so he tied her up, and then he said, "I might have put my hand over her mouth and told her to shut up." He can't even lie creatively.
Excellent show. Of course, by Court TV standards that probably means we'll see it for a few weeks, then it will simply disappear from the schedule, as have so many good shows in the last few months.
Wouldn't it be great to know a guy like Steve? I'd have him on speed dial. I mean, think about it. You could call him up and
say, "Hey, Steve. I took a picture of my butt so I could see if it looked fatter than last month,
but I didn't want anybody to see it, so I hid it. Now I can't find it. Can you come over and find my butt?"
"Oooh, Steve! I downloaded a program and totally didn't pay attention to where I saved it. Now I can't find it. Can you help a blonde out?"
Yessirree, Steve would LOVE living next door to me.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

crime doesn't pay

I find it rather ironic that Michael Jackson is gracing the cover of Ebony. EBONY!
Hell, he's whiter than I am and I'm whiter than Elmer's Glue.

I was watching a bit of Star Jones this afternoon and she was talking about Dog's apology on Sean Hannity's show.
She gave him credit for apologizing then asked why he did it to a white person. This is what pisses me off. An apology is NEVER ENOUGH.
There is always a qualifying "but" attached to it.
Now let's see how many more apologies the African American community try to get out of him, as in the case of Michael Richards and Don Imus.
I, for one, find it hard to believe that a man his age has no clue as to the harsh connotations of that word, but--and here's MY qualifying 'but'--he did apologize.
Let it fucking go already. As long as the African American community continues to use this word in
their every day speech and music, how can they expect other people to stop using it?
Now they're saying "nigga" as if that's some sort of cool, acceptable version of the word for THEM to use.
Things won't change as long as they continue to employ double standards.

Well, isn't Prince just a stand up guy?
These celebs get so damn cocky and full
of themselves.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

viewer discretion advised

Mr. G and I were watching the Steeler game last night, and I left my spot next to him on the couch to make a cup of herbal tea. When I came back, Little Cat was laying on his right knee and Holly was snuggled up to him on the right side with her head on his thigh. I said, "Who are you? St. Francis?"

Yikes! I thought I had a sugar addiction problem.... Alaska State Troopers say they have arrested a woman they believe was involved in the Talkeetna robbery in which seven trick-or-treaters were held up at gunpoint for their candy on Halloween. Amber M. Martin, 20, of Wasilla, was taken into custody after Houston police stopped her vehicle for an equipment violation near Mile 53 of the Parks Highway on Friday night, troopers said in a written statement. She has been charged with six counts of robbery and seven counts of assault. The robbery happened late Wednesday afternoon when a truck that had just passed seven costumed kids on Talkeetna's Main Street made a U-turn, came back and stopped, according to the statement and Sgt. Craig Allen with the Alaska Bureau of Investigation. Two people wearing ski masks hopped out, fired a shot from a handgun into the air and threatened the children, then took six bags of candy and an iPhone that a parent had sent along in case of problems.
That's shocking, isn't it?
I mean, who knew they even had trick or treat in Alaska?! Even more shocking is the fact that seven costumed kids only had six bags of candy. Some super smart kid either hid his candy or ate it along the way. I salute that child!

While I'm yakking about trick or treaters, Stephen Colbert had this to say on the subject:
"You know what I call trick or treaters? Pre-hobos. Kids, when you grow up you get to celebrate a day I call "UnHalloween" every day. That's where you grow up, get a job, go to work every day and buy your own damn candy. Boo!"

Matt Lauer is reporting from the Arctic Circle this week, and he was shown with sled dogs this morning.
He said they were "wild animals" and not pets. Well, bullshit. I've been fooled by those doggone sentimental Disney type movies. "I must go back for the dogs!! They're my family!" Now I find out that not ONLY are they NOT family, they'd eat the sled driver in a heartbeat. Woof woof. Then they showed a mama dog with her babies. Awww. They didn't look vicious at all. Mama was a different story.

Did you know that beer rehydrates the body better than water?
The next time I run a marathon, I'm going to try drinking beer when I cross the finish line. I will let you all know how it goes. (BTW, don't hold your breath waiting for this post, ok?)

There was a commercial on TV about the Royal Lippazaner Stallions that are coming to town. They showed the horses and
in dramatic fashion said, "At one time they were trained for war. Now they do ballet. Gives you hope for the future, doesn't it?" Hmmm. They took a proud, strong animal and made into it a damn sideshow act. I'm thinking the poor animal hasn't evolved much...thanks to man.

The Daily Show had a really funny piece about a school that is banning cupcakes. (Geez, I thought Catholic school was bad...)
They interviewed two women: one pro-cupcakes--thank GOD for her!!--and one anti-cupcake lady. While they were interviewing the anti-cupcake lady, she had a display featuring a basket of fruit and a plate of cupcakes with BLUE icing!! My favorite!! While she was blathering on about eating healthy, all I could think about was sucking the blue icing off of every one of those damn cupcakes. Clearly her lecture about diabetes, heart disease and transfat made a deep (blue) impression on me.

Monday, November 05, 2007

well the weather outside is frightful

Oh, crap. The Weather Channel is already calling for rain mixing with snow tonight and tomorrow night and "wintery conditions" Wednesday through Friday. I'm not ready for this!!

I watched the "Morning Express" show on Headline News this morning. It was formerly known as "Robin & Company."
Sorry, but other than the tons of money they must have spent for set changes, I don't see one bit of a difference. She kept saying it was "news on the fast track" whatever the hell that means.

I still have to deal with the rest of the TV/VCR/DVD player hook-up nightmare. All I did over the weekend was connect it enough to watch COPS.
I'd like to thank the people who makes the connecting cords about two feet long and the TV manufacturers for making the TV's about four feet wide.
That TV was the HEAVIEST I've ever come across. Mr. G had one arm over the front of the tv and one under the back, but my arm was too short and I had a hell of a time picking that thing up. Finally, we decided to try him in the back and me in the front. The whole time we're making peepy steps toward the stand, he's going, "Whatever you do, DON'T... DROP... IT!"
You know, like I'm constantly dropping expensive items for the hell of it

Sunday, November 04, 2007

you're a real tough cookie with a long history of breaking little hearts like the one in me

Mr. G brought home his mother's 37" screen tv and what a change from our old 21 incher. My COPS looked suh-weet on that big screen. These guys are way more handsome than I even realized! The best part is I can finally get Mr. G to use headphones so I don't have to feel like I'm sitting smack dab in the middle of Heinz Stadium every time the game is on.

One of my co-workers said she started drinking ginger tea because it helped with arthritis.
I started drinking it and while it took a little getting used to the taste, it does work well. I only had a problem with my finger joints--my knuckles would be stiff in the morning--and it's made a big difference. It's weird but ginger always makes me think of my dad's mother who used to give us Ginger Snap cookies all the time. I used to think they were incredibly crunchy. Turns out she was feeding us the stale ones.

I started looking through the Christmas toy books with the offspring so they can pick out their toys.
Sure, it's early, BUT the more sophisticated the toy, the more time I need to come up with an excuse as to why "Santa" won't be able to bring it. Female Offspring #7 has been hounding me for WEEKS to buy this "FurReal Friends Cat Value Pack." Buy it? I didn't even know what it was. So I finally checked it out and it's a mother cat and her kitten. When you pet their fur, they open and close their eyes, swish their tails and purr. All for a mere $40. I said, "Don't we have two real cats?" She said, "Yeah, but I don't have to feed these cats, brush them or clean their litterbox." I said, "And when have you EVER done any of that?" Female Offspring #5 wants a "Barbie Girls" doll and MP3 player in one. I said, "It's my job as your mother to ruin your self-esteem, thus ruining your entire life. It is not my job to ruin your hearing. Do that on your own time." Male Offspring #6 wants a "Poo-Lar Bear". If you haven't seen this, you're in for a sweet treat....that has been POOPED out of the bear. The tagline on the box says, "The sub-zero poopin' hero!" I don't even have to ask to know this thing was created by a guy. Guys have a morbid fascination with their poop. I will be the first to admit that I LOVE CANDY. But no way am I eating anything that comes out of an animal's butt. Male Offspring #8 pointed to a 4 slice toaster in the flyer. I take that as a clear sign he wants one. What an amazing coincidence that I happen to need one.

OMG. The Soup totally ripped the chicks on "Grey's Anatomy" and their upcoming spin off.
They mocked it with their own spin off called "Women Are Stupid and Horny and Like To Eat Cake." They talked about how professional women were not only incredibly stupid in their relationship choices, but they were horny and liked to eat cake. That is so sexis----mmmmm, I love cake.....

I was watching Disorderly Conduct this afternoon and two troopers were making an arrest on the side of a busy highway.
One trooper was outside the cruiser and the other was inside with his K9 dog and the suspect. Out of nowhere a truck crossed the highway and smashed into the back of the cruiser. The trooper in the car was barely responsive, and the other trooper kept calling his name. Then he said, "Are you okay, baby?" Ok, I don't EVER want to hear one male cop call another male cop 'baby'...EVER!! They also had a segment with a bride. She made a ruckus at the reception when the bar was shut down. She started throwing things--including gifts--and screaming, so they arrested her. When she was at the station, she was ranting about everyone in her family, including her beloved groom. She said, "I need to cut his dick off. That's what I need to do." And "I hope he rots in hell along with his two inch dick." She said he threw her out of the car three weeks earlier while going 90 mph. Well, no wonder she snapped him right up. He's a gem. As is she. When the cop called her husband to tell him she could go home, she screamed, "Tell him I want a divorce!" The best part is that after all that, they made up and went on their honeymoon. Aww, ain't love grand? After seeing that segment, I wouldn't sleep too soundly if I were him. Snip, snip and all that.

They showed King Tut's face during a CNN news story today.
Hmm, not much of a hottie. I'll take a pass, thanks.

Whitney on "The Hills" was having a party and they showed a clip of the church she planned to use on The Soup. She mentioned the confessionals and another woman with her said, "Right, we could cover those."
Whitney said, "I was thinking we could turn them into photo booths." The Soup host Joel McHale said, "Bless me Father for I have--CHEESE!" He is so damn funny. I'm glad Bugs got me watching this again. I used to love it when Greg Kinnear was host, but hated it when Roger Lodge took over.

I was watching some of "Intervention" on A&E this afternoon. It's sad how quickly someone can derail their life. And scary, too.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

lay down the boogie and play that funky music till you die

HELP!! I'm falling..............back an hour.

The Catholic League is once again outraged.
(FWIW, writers for the Catholic League need to invest in a new thesaurus.)

This time they're "outraged" over Britney's CD photos featuring her on the lap of a
priest and her leaning suggestively against the confessional.
Hmmm, pissing off religious leaders to get attention? Britney must have a new CD coming out. Seems the more worried they are the music will fail, the more inflammatory the pics.

I was reading an article in the newspaper about daylight savings time and how the switch has helped save energy. That's really interesting because several times when they raised gas prices during the spring and summer, they blamed it
on the fact that consumers were using MORE fuel due to longer daylight hours.
So basically we're using less electricity, but more gas. How have we gained?

The American Girl dolls have a new doll representing the 1960's. What in the world are kids going to learn from her?
How to live in a commune and smoke dope?

Friday, November 02, 2007

swinging down the street so fancy free

From My Name is Earl: Officer Bobbi Bowman on a "COPS" parody: "Homeland Security sent us all kinds of equipment to protect us against attack. For example, this is a 'surface to surface urban combat transport vehicle'. You may know it as a scooter."

This is what I love about the internet: you come across such a wide variety of people, that someone is bound to have a solution to your problem. Take the other day, for instance, when I posted about my car lock sticking.
Bruno told me to try locking it with the key instead, and son of a bitch, if it hasn't been working. The one time I forgot and locked it by hand, it stuck.
I guess I'm going to have to get it fixed, but I won't be off until next Friday morning, and there's no way I want to leave
it UNlocked in the neighborhood where I work, so I'm glad I can lock it with the key. Thanks, Bruno! BTW, thank GOD you
mentioned not using graphite, cuz it was the second thing my husband suggested, right after the WD-40, which I
had already used. I think a piece is breaking or has broken in it, and I don't think WD-40 is going to do much of anything, although it seemed to.
Hmm, I might have to dub Bruno my "go to guy" for car matters cuz he solved my "icing on the inside" windshield problems, too!

I was reading an article about a woman who has started a business of "for entertainment only" 4D ultrasounds, so that you can see your unborn baby in 4D.
Ultrasounds are DIAGNOSTIC MEDICAL TESTS. They're not "entertainment". They tell us it's safe, but I
have a can of asbestos in my shed that has the words "safe and easy to use" right on the damn label.
They tell us X-rays are safe, but when the dentist X-rays my back teeth, they slap a protective apron across my chest and stomach.
Why is that? Probably cuz they're so safe.
I realize people are curious and excited about their baby, but the focus should always be what's best for the baby's health and well being.
It scares me when some parents treat their children like cute toys.

I don't think I'll cry too much if this TV writer's strike takes place. Thankfully, COPS isn't scripted.
Y&R sucks so much lately that I think a writer's strike in their case would be a GOOD thing.
"Men in Trees" took so long to get back on the air that I don't really care if it goes into repeats. I hate the way they're bouncing Jack from Marin to Lynn and now back to Marin again.

I loved the part on the My Name is Earl COPS parody this week where the officer was called to the strip club on a child endangerment call.
The chick was stripping with a baby strapped to her chest, and when the officer demands her and the baby get off the stage, she yells, "Officer it's not mine! I'm babysitting!" In the meantime, guys in the crowd are yelling, "! Take the baby off!" At least this COPS parody was a lot funnier than the last time they tried this.

What is with those Bee Movie commercials on Spike?
"True dads are taking their kids to see Bee Movie and Spike dads are true dads?" What am I missing here?

What do you think about the Trojan commercial where guys are depicted as pigs until they buy a Trojan condom?

Remember my sweatshirt Halloween rant?
I forgot to mention that a flannel shirt and straw hat does NOT make you a farmer.
Drag a cow with you. And some foreclosure notices, so we know you're legit.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

veddddddy interesting

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I thought this article on mercola. com about white and dark meat was really interesting. It's weird, but most people have a strong preference between the two choices of Turkey meat, and this explains why:
Dark Meat
Simply speaking, dark meats are dark because the muscles are used more (think drumsticks vs. breast meat). They have more myoglobin proteins, which help ship oxygen to your muscle cells.
When dark meat is cooked, the myoglobins turn into metmyoglobins, which are very high in iron.

White Meat
White meat contains glycogen, which is a polysaccharide of glucose, an animal starch. Animal starch is stored in your liver, then broken down into glucose when it’s needed by the white muscle.

Nutritional Differences
Dark meat contains more zinc, riboflavin, niacin, thiamin, vitamins B6 and B12, amino acids, and iron than white meat. Dark meats also contain more saturated fats, along with omega-3 and omega-6 fats.

Carb nutritional types thrive on white-meat chicken or turkey, while protein types definitely need dark-meat chicken or turkey, or red meat. Protein types prefer the dark meat because it has more fat and heavier purine-type amino acids while carb types prefer the lighter white meat.
Mixed types can usually do a mix of the two.

I was definitely right about being a "carb type" because I prefer the white meat/chicken, although I find lots of turkey white meat very dry.

Here's an interesting "test" that only takes about two seconds, and will determine whether you are more right brained or left brained. I found out I'm lame brained. Ar, ar, arrr. Actually I'm more right brained, which didn't come as much of a surprise.