Wednesday, October 24, 2007

so tired of waiting for you

There's a dentist in a neighboring community who is offering kids $ in exchange for their Halloween candy. He says he's trying to save their teeth,
but I'm confused. Isn't that what the miraculous fluoride toothpaste is for? Ar, ar.
Just tossed that in for Mike South, pornographer & fluoride lover.
Anywho, the denist is going to send the candy to the troops. Oh, I see. Save our kids' teeth, but rot our soldiers' teeth.
Niiiice going. Am I the only one who sees a problem here?
Pissed off soldiers + high powered assault rifles + sugar overload=DISASTER!!!
What made me laugh is that he's ONLY giving the kids a DOLLAR for a POUND of CANDY.
Is that not insane? If you went to the candy store, for say, yummy peanut butter cups, you'd pay $12.95 - $16.95 a pound.
One freaking buck is just not enough incentive to toss away all that good candy. Even a bag of Snickers bars is three something, depending on where you buy them.
I'd be more than willing to sell the crappy unwrapped candy corn and Jolly Ranchers.

Speaking of Haller-ween, did you know it was a crime to smashing pumpkins is a crime? I know what you're
thinking: "But Goddess, I thought Smashing Pumpkins was a rock group." It was. Now shut up and focus. Police in
some states are having problems with people smashing pumpkins--NOT the rock group--and are letting people
know that even if you smash it on the ground, it's a crime because it was paid for by someone else. Kids in
some states are chucking the pumpkins, damaging property. I'm guessing a big ole pumpkin could do
a lot of damage. This is exactly why I refuse to set real pumpkins outside my trailer. Hell, the solar pumpkins
can't even survive the night. I don't want to think about what the front of my trailer would look like if I left real pumpkins outside.
They might be "squashed" all over it. Get it? Pumpkins? Squash? Ar ar arrrrr.

Who deemed "Kid Nation" the "best reality show of al time"? Besides CBS, I mean.

My sister called yesterday and said she left me a few winter tops at Mom's. I stopped to pick them up
yesterday and I asked where she bought them, and Mom said, "WalMart." Sigh.
Remember the short sleeved WalMart top fiasco? The sleeves barely cover my shoulder, let alone my upper arm.
But these are long sleeved, so how bad can they be? The tops fit great, but--no kidding here--the sleeves go all the way down to my knuckles!
I called my sister and asked her why she didn't want them and she said the sleeves were "screwed up".
She's about three and a half inches shorter than I am, so I can only imagine how the tops looked on her.

I caught a little of The View for the first time since Whoopi came on. I have to say she dresses incredibly CRAPPY for national television.
It's interesting that both Rosie and Whoopi took over the panel without hesitation. You'd think they'd let Joy and Elizabeth take the lead since they're new.
Sherri Whatsherface seems terrified to even offer her opinion.

One thing I forgot to mention about The Price is Right yesterday. I noticed this started towards
the end of Bob's tenure, but they need to STOP all these "shout outs".
You could tell Bob had little patience for them, and I think they're annoying.
Like your 95 year old grandma in Topeka even knows what a "shout out" is.

3 comments:

The Future Was Yesterday said...

"I'm guessing a big ole pumpkin could do a lot of damage."
I caught one in the front of my truck, thrown from an overpass. It took out the grill, radiator, and fan. Stopped me dead.

*Goddess* said...

Damn. Did they catch the idiots that did it?

Dustin said...

Last halloween, we had our pumpkins smashed. It broke all 3 of my kids hearts. Some mean kids came and smashed them all over the street in front of us, did it to every pumpkin in the area. Neighbor helped pick them up with me and whatnot, but omg what a mess.