Tuesday, October 30, 2007

One last post on the bitch from hell

and then I'm not giving her any more of my energy.

Last night the S-I-L calls and says, "You're not going to believe what happened. My microwave just blew up." You're right, bitch. I don't believe a freaking word of it.

I said to my husband, "Now she's taking the microwave. I can't believe she hasn't taken that big freezer in the basement."

He said, "Uh....I had to give her that to get the new bed." UnFUCKINGbelievable. He tells her that it's unfair that she's getting so much more than we are and she takes SOMETHING ELSE!

When I had her on the phone, I said, "Where's all the pictures? I only have one picture of Mr. G as a little boy, and I'd like some pictures."

She said, "Oh yeah, I have those. My brother and I will have to go through them." Translation: I've already gone through them. You can have the crap that's left.

I said, "Where are all your mother's Christmas decorations?" She told me she didn't have any, and I said, "No Christmas decorations, no towels, no sheets and no blankets. I hope my house is as easy to clean out as hers is." Then she kept going on and on about how her parents "just didn't have anything." She said, "My house would take forever to clean out because the basement is packed from one end to the other." Yeah, and 99% of it probably belonged to her parents.

Before I went to bed last night, I called Female Offspring #1 and said, "When your dad and I die, if Aunt Bitch is still alive and you don't want to be bothered cleaning out "family spread," call her and tell her you know there's money hidden somewhere and if she finds it, she can have it. That way the place will get cleaned out within a week."


H2o said...

Man she sounds like my SIL...Scary...

BRUNO said...

Now, now, Goddess---can't we all just get along? I mean, we should LOVE our brothers-and-sisters-in-laws during this upcoming season of joy!

That is, while hoping the sons-of-bitches get a case of the "scoury-shits", and suffer a slow, painful demise....!

The LOVE in a family is such a beautiful thing, isn't it?

I'm actually kinda GLAD that I no longer have direct kin, other than Mrs. B! But I'll always miss my big Sis, Mom, and Dad.

Don't worry---you ain't gonna catch ME goin' soft anymore! Not in THIS lifetime!!!