Tuesday, October 02, 2007

i'm crazy for you

We had to move Mr. G's mom to a rehab center for a week or two before she can come home, and we went to visit yesterday and to sign papers. While we were standing in the hall waiting for the administrator, there was a woman sitting in a wheelchair along the wall. The last time we were there, a clerk pointed out that this woman was a hundred years old and the oldest person in the facility. She looked at me and I smiled, and said, "So how do you like it here?" She shook her head and said, "I don't belong in here with these old people. They're crazy!"
Then I walked into my M-I-L's room and said, "How do you like it here? It seems like a nice place." She rolled her finger at her head and said, "These old people are crazy!" LOL.

I left Mr. G and his sister after the woman started explaining all their options--they have none--and as I was walking down the hall, this old guy wheels up to me and says, "Hey, do you work here?"
I said, "No, I don't."
He held out a cup and said, "Well, I need a drink of water."
Glad that went in one ear and out the other.
I said, "I'll get it for you. Where's the fountain?"
He said, "How the hell would I know! You're the one who works here!"

BTW, why do all these old folks homes have goofy names like Whispering Pines or Shady Meadows or Maple Woods? When all the offspring leave home, I'm going to start my own old folk's home right here because old folks can dust and run the sweeper, right? And they say we don't value the elderly in our society, but I'm going to bring them into my home (for a nominal monthly fee of about 8k) and put them to work. I mean, show them they are still a contributing member of society. Anywho, I'm not going to give my home a crappy name like Tall Oaks or Windy Ash, I'm going to name mine something cool like, "The Hip, Happenin' Home" or "Sexy Seniors Central" to attract more oldsters.


Lin said...

I LIKE your ideas on setting up an elder home. On the Q.T., maybe call it Goddess's Geriatric Gulag. I bet they'd love it though compared to detention at the usual Whispering Saps.

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Ha! Confirms everything I ever suspected - no matter what age you might be, mentally you always believe you are twenty..

I think you could be on to something you know - sod the house cleaning regime - interview the geriatrics before admission, only take in those with a trade - mechanic/carpenter/brain surgeon (the whole neighbourhood will be queuing around the block for their cut rate services).