Wednesday, September 19, 2007

it's a beautiful day in Pennsylvania

"President Bush said Wednesday that a law hastily passed in August to temporarily give the government more power to eavesdrop without warrants on foreign terror suspects must be made permanent and expanded." Goodbye, Freedoms. We hardly knew ye.

It's a gorgeous, quiet day here today. Temps are in the low 70's and low humidity. Perfect kind of fall day. The dog is snoring in the corner and I have the whole neighborhood to myself. Unless everyone else is in their trailers drinking themselves into a stupor. Hmmmm, that doesn't sound like a bad idea.

There's one downside to being married a long time: I can't get my husband to rise to the bait. (Get your minds out of the gutter. I can get a rise out of that bait just fine, thank you very much.) He planted radishes earlier this summer and he's been waiting for them to ripen. Yesterday, I said, "Bad news. Your radishes still aren't ripe. I know because I yanked one and it just broke off at the top. I figured that must have been a fluke, but 20 yanks later, I figured they weren't ripe." All he said was, "I'll give you something to yank."

Already the media is turning this whole O.J. thing into ANOTHER circus. The first one was bad enough (not to mention LONG enough) to last a lifetime. Of course, after seeing the live coverage of the hearing this morning repeated about fifty times, I realize it's a lost cause. Once again, we're destined to see his mug on TV for weeks or months to come.

Don't read this paragraph if you're eating...
I was watching yet another prison show last night and learned about an "interesting" aspect of prison guards job. They did a surprise cell raid when they found out one prisoner had drugs. Just before the officers made entry into the guy's cell, he swallowed something and they put him on "contraband watch." What a lovely job that would be. They put the guy in a cell, stripped down and placed in two white jumpsuits, taped up at the arms, legs, and waist, and then they sit there watching him until he goes to the bathroom three times clean. Then the "lucky" prison guard gets to go through the crap and find the contraband. There wouldn't be enough air freshener in the world to get that stench off of you. One prisoner actually lasted THIRTY DAYS without going to the bathroom. I had to go just watching the damn show. The prisoner that was featured last night had been in contraband watch just fourteen days prior. He defecated, was able to get a shank of some sort out of his anus and was attempting to RE-SWALLOW it when the guards caught him. UGH. What really stuns me when I watch these shows is how they'll interview a prisoner and he'll be all sickened by a child molester who is in prison with him, and then you'll find out he's there for murdering one (or more) people. Makes no damn sense.



Do you know what this is? It's a METAL shank a prisoner had UP HIS ASS.

3 comments:

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Ouch!

BRUNO said...

Where there's a will, there's a way---I guess!

I'd like to know how he did that without slicing himself---NO---SCRATCH THAT---I really DON'T want to know, after all...!

The Future Was Yesterday said...

""Bad news. Your radishes still aren't ripe. I know because I yanked one and it just broke off at the top. I figured that must have been a fluke, but 20 yanks later, I figured they weren't ripe." "
You have a mean streak I never would have figured you for.:) But I know a Man who's name we'll forget right now, who asked his 6 year old Daughter Run and get Daddy some radishes out of the garden for our salad, will you honey?

Half hour later, she was back. Daddy, I pulled as hard as I could, but none of them would come up! It's not as easy being stupid as you would think. It's easier.

"Do you know what this is? It's a METAL shank a prisoner had UP HIS ASS."
Relax, all of you. Bush is working on ours even as we speak.