Did you hear the military is offering enlistees a $20,000 "signing bonus" if they agree to ship out as early as three months?
One senator said the program is working because people think, "Hey, I can buy a car with that money." Yeah, and their next thought is probably, "hey, I hope I don't get shot and killed before I get a chance to drive that new car...."
There was a discussion about Senator Larry "I did not solicit sex in the men's room" Craig on the news today. The reporter said, "We have just received word that we have a comment from Senator Barbara Boxer's office. Senator Boxer chairs the Senate Ethics Committee. The comment is: Senator Boxler has no comment."
I love the following quote by Senator Craig, "I am not gay. I have never been gay." LOL! I half expected him to follow that up with something like, "Well, ok, I was gay for a few months there in 2005, but I'm not anymore!"
Male Offspring #7 came rushing home from the first day of school Monday flashing a new t shirt. It said, "Anthony is my name, dodge ball is my game. May I work hard and give it my all, think like a winner and have a ball!"
He was over the moon. Now, as with most families, the main objective between siblings is to ridicule each other. Unless you come from one
of those creepy famlies where everybody supports each other's endeavors. Brrrrrr...
Male Offspring #1 & 2 immediately high tailed it up to the mall and had their own shirts made. They read:
"*insert name here* is my name, masturbation is my game. I work "hard" and give it my all, yank on my wanker and play with my balls."
Some days I find it hard to believe I haven't committed suicide. Yet.