Tuesday, August 21, 2007

night breezes seem to whisper i love you

That is one versatile vibrator.
All my latex bf does is turn me on and give me many, many screaming O's.
I'd be jealous, but I'm too busy jilling off to care.

I had to stop at the post office yesterday after work.
Because they're working on the bus station
across the street, people waiting for buses have to catch
them outside the post office. I walked past a group of people and
a guy stopped me, asking about bus schedules. Apparently he couldn't read the print.
I turned around to answer him and saw that he was in his late 70's/early 80's
with snow white hair and THEE BLACKEST mustache you've ever seen.
We're talking black as night, black as licorice, black as the steaks I grilled last week.
I could NOT help myself. I immediately started to giggle. I wanted to keep a straight face, but I couldn't.
The mustache looked so bad, like it was a costume 'stache pasted on.
I tried to cover by pretending I was laughing at how the print was hard for me to read, too. Yaya, great cover, I know. Bite me.

Overtime Hawg is PISSED because I'm actually
getting two nights of O.T. this week, and
she's not getting any. She's been bitching for a full month now trying to get the other two extra nights this week, but Boss #1 said she's taking them.
Boss #2 told me she said, "Well, that's just great.
Goddess gets to work five nights in a row."
She neglected to mention three of them were my regular shifts.
She also neglected to mention all the many, MANY nights she took from me.
Cry me a river.
What she doesn't know is Boss #2 doesn't like her working
nights, and that's why she's really not getting any. We hardly have
anything to do and apparently, she hasn't even been doing that.

In a recent poll, teenagers said the #1 thing that
makes them happy is spending time with family.
How can that possibly be when most teenagers have idiots for parents? Ask any teenager. They'll be only to happy to tell you how stupid their parents are.
I think the #1 thing that makes most teens happy is S.E.X.

Gawd, now they're ALREADY coming up with
something 16 times the resolution than high def tv?!
We haven't even been forced to get high def yet, and already it's obsolete.
Just makes you wanna curl up into the fetal positon
and listen to your 8 tracks, doesn't it?

I love this quote from a Yahoo article about an accident that occurred on the scene of a Tom Cruise movie:
"We have no findings to suggest anyone famous was involved in the accident," said a police spokesman, adding
he did not know whether it would affect the shoot this week.
Damn those pesky unfamous. First they have the balls to get hurt, then
they threaten the rest of the shoot.


BBC said...

Well, you sure are interesting and entertaining. :-)

TV? I seldom turn one on except to watch a movie.


BBC said...

I was trying to decide if there was anything here that I could stick my dick into. LOL

*Goddess* said...

Am I gonna have to tell you where to stick it, Billy? LOL;)

Anonymous said...

Jex the drug addict couldn't stick it up. No wonder his girlfriend had a Rampant Rabbit.

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Chewy, hilarious! And again, are we talking "D" sized or tripple "A" batteries in that thing babe? Maybe 2 stroke with a rip chord? BRUNNNN, Nunnn, Nunnn!

SpongyBones said...

The first part of your post scared me. I thought it would lead to a bashing of why vibrators are needed in the first place.

Teens #1 favorite activity is spending time hiding from parents to either smoke weed or have sex. I know because wasn't that long ago I was one!

Which leads me to ask, you wise one, what are 8 tracks? HA!

*Goddess* said...

I'm telling ya, FHB, battery operated vibes are for wussies!

*Goddess* said...

At least I didn't say "ALBUMS," SB!!! (which is what I was going to say....)