Saturday, July 21, 2007

the ultimate driving machine

And you thought the universal language was love.

Funny spam email subject o'the day: "Don't block your desires because of your small penis." LOL!

I have a secret that I've been loathe to share, but I can't keep it inside anymore.
Here goes, and KEEP AN OPEN MIND: my dog Holly is a carpet licker.
Nooooo she's not a lesbian. I wish! She literally licks carpets and it's making me CRAZY. I can't stand the sound it makes and yes, it makes a sound. She started licking the bedroom carpet, and damn it, she's got it so clean in one spot that it's obvious I need to shampoo the rug. Hmm, maybe I could slowly get her to clean the entire thing? Hmmmmmm....NO! I wouldn't be able to stand the sound.
Now she's living the living room rug, and I'm telling ya it's so clean by the time she's finished, I'm ashamed. Maybe they need to make carpet shampooers less brush like, and more dog tongue like....
My husband said, "Maybe she's lacking something in her diet?" I said, "What? More shag?"
All I know is it's working my last nerve.

Wow. You have to wonder what they put in some of these prescription drugs.
I was watching tv last night and I saw a commercial for Miraplex, a pill for restless leg syndrome. The announcer lowered his voice--a sure sign he's about to run through a long list of side effects--and I couldn't believe it when he said, "contact your doctor if you experience compulsive behavior or the urge to gamble." Damn. For a leg medication, they give you something that "stimulates the part of the brain linked to pleasure and reward-seeking behavior"? Dang. I'll stick to my cal/mag/postassium combo, thanks.

On The Soup, they showed a clip from Paris Twiton's reality show, in which her and Nicole Richie and some dude were "lost" in the mountains.
It showed Paris calling 911 to be rescued, one of them falling to the ground--probably Nicole, she hasn't eaten in weeks anyway--and Paris sobbing because it "got cold." Ummm, maybe it's the skeptic in me, but how lost can you be with a camera crew following & filming your every move?

I heard on the news that critics are saying Victoria Beckham's reality show is barely watchable. The New York Post called Monday night's show "an orgy of self-indulgence" and described Beckham as "vapid and condescending." Another accused her of posing constantly. Oh, stop. Now I'm just DYING to see it so I can make fun of it.
But barely watchable? Come on. They've obviously never seen "Hey, Paula" or "Being Bobby Brown" or "Chasing Farrah". I did LOL at Victoria saying "I'm just a normal girl from London." It just makes me laugh and laugh when celebs spew this sort of stupidity, not unlike Paula did a couple weeks ago when I watched her "show".
No "normal girl from London" has the press following her, documenting her every move.
Again, I do NOT see the press' fascination with this couple. I think it's more about
the people behind soccer in this country who are shoving them in our faces.
The ironic thing is that he might not even be healthy enough to play in the first game.


R.A.M. said...

Maybe she was a lesbo in her former life.

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Will you STOP spreading negative vibes on the Beckams? We're hoping we've finally found a Country not only dumb enough to WANT them, we're kinda' praying this one will even want to actually KEEP 'em!!!

Ha-ha! I don't know if you realise, but "shag" over here means, well, "to fuck"! Maybe the dog knows, but doesn't quite get it?

BBC said...

Okay, I consider you cool enough that I've added you to my links. :-)

The dog is licking up all the sexual debris, energy, on the carpet.

*Goddess* said...

Shag is one of the few words I do know, Carol. And fag means cigarette. Weeee! I think I'm ready to move there!

Well it took you long enough to consider me "cool," BBC! Trust me, there is NO sexual debris on the rug....
Thanks for the link. I shall add you to my wee little list.

Lin said...

A dignified English lady here in ABQ was telling us about a rather pushy antique rug dealer trying to show her his private collection. I said "Hmmph, sounds to me like he was trying to interest you in a nice shag". Ah-hah-hah-hah-hah - she lost it, too.