Sunday, July 01, 2007

there's gotta be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me

I was watching some of the concert for Princess Di and I have to ask: when did Tom Jones become black?
And why have I never heard of the group Take That? They seemed to have had a ton of number one hits in the U.K. Apparently when they broke up back in the 90's, it was so traumatic to many of the British chicks that they had to set up hotlines for them to deal with the fans' grief. The song "I Want You Back" sounds very familiar to me, but I've never seen the guys before, let alone heard of the pandemonium they've caused.
May I say they're a hell of a lot hotter looking than any of our "boy bands" were back in the 90's? Yes, I may.
Elton John looked good with his short red do. Have you noticed that the older Elton gets, the more hair he gets? Amazing how that works.
While I'm on the subject of the concert for Di, I wish I had a quarter for every time they turned the camera on someone in the audience who had no clue what the the words to the song were, but pretended they did? I loved that. It's bad enough when you do it in the car, but in front of millions of people? LOL!! Too damn funny. But what a great thing Wm and Harry did for their mum, carrying on her charity work via the concert.

There's a healthy eating site that I frequent all the time, and they have a place where you can ask questions.Because they were touting the latest whey protein drink, I emailed them and asked if they knew of any protein drinks that were NOT whey based.
I have sensitivities to whey and I love it, especially in the summer with fresh fruits tossed in, but I break out in HUGE welts when I drink it.They emailed me back saying there were thousands of products on the market and it's not practical for them to review them all. I freaking didn't ask them to! I just asked if they knew of a non-whey based protein shake. Oy.

The offspring broke out the old Slip N'Slide yesterday afternoon. Only three head injuries so far. I keep telling them not to put the end of the Slip N'Slide inches from the trailer, but do they listen to me? NO. They start it on the slight hill in the front yard and they wind up smashing their heads into the trailer skirting at the bottom. Weeeeee! Waking them up every hour on the hour to make sure they don't have concussions is good fun for all! I can't wait till we wind up in court because one of the neighborhood moms has decided to sue me! "Judge Judy, if these moms were truly good, dedicated moms like moi, these kids wouldn't have been in my yard in the first place. They would have been home getting a concussion on their own damn Slip N'Slide."

As well as the Slip N'Slide we partook of another summer festivity yesterday: the barbeque. Mr. G barbeques much like Homer Simpson. He pours on the lighter fluid, pours on the lighter fluid, pours on the lighter fluid and then tosses a match.
And POOF! It takes all summer for our eyebrows to grow back.

I was reading through the Petco circular on Sunday because the neighbor told me about a supposedly "good" dry dog food to help dogs lose weight, but I can't remember the name of it. I was hoping to jog my memory by looking at the circular. I noticed they sell a dog food at Petco, called "Natural Balance."
Check out the oh so delicious flavors: Potato/Duck, and Sweet Potato/Fish. I'm curious as to why dogs would need potato in their diet at all, especially white potatoes? Aside from that, who's the genius that thought sweet potatoes and fish taste good together? Yuck.

I saw an ad on tv for something called "Toilet Tunes." If you're the shy type who don't want people to know that you pee or poop, slap the Toilet Tunes activator on your toilet seat, and when the toilet lid is raised, the music/nature sounds will start playing. Close the lid and it stops. This is one of the goofiest inventions I've ever seen, and is probably a ploy by one of those annoying chicks who can't handle the fact that guys leave the toilet seat up. We're all doing the same thing in there--'cept for the guys who use the bathroom to jack off--so what difference
does it make if someone hears you peeing? As for the crapping, just keep your grunting and groaning to a minimum and you'll be fine. FWIW, the grunting and groaning thing also applies to masturbating in the bathroom.

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