Wednesday, July 18, 2007

my daddy thinks i'm fine

Rule #1: if you're going to murder someone, AT LEAST have a decent reason for doing so.

I saw Senator Vitter giving his "I fucked up" speech on tv, with his wife by his side. If my husband cheated on me, I could not stand by
his side in front of the entire world as if I continued to support him.
I'm a bit surprised she did it. She said once that she was more like Lorena Bobbit and if her husband ever cheated on her, she'd come away with "one thing" and it wasn't alimony.

I love these commercials for programs like Jenny Craig and LA Weight Loss. They'll depict people who have lost 50-100-150 pounds and then you'll see the disclaimer "results not typical." Then why the hell are you showing them?!

My boss was watching The Today Show this morning when I came in and Paula Abdul was the guest. Matt Lauer was interviewing her about her show and asked her what people would learn about her from the show.
Paula said, "That I'm working all the time and that I'm ...." say it with me, kids, "exhausted."

If you want to get a lot of hits to your site this weekend,
Simply write the words "And the two characters who get killed off in 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' are..........."
anywhere in your blog. You don't even have to know the answer. The teaser is good enough. Color me wicked.
It makes me laugh the way they've been keeping this book under lock and key. But it turns out Deepdiscounts.com has been sending the damn books out since Tuesday. LOL! And to add insult to injury, they were selling it for $17.98 with FREE shipping
Male Offspring #1 asked me to loan him the $ to buy ten copies of the book. I said, "That's so sweet. You're buying copies for your brothers and sisters."
He said, "No, I'm going to "autograph" them and resell them at a profit." Knowing him, he'd sign them "Harry Potter."

Oh, for the love of Pete. I can see breaking into someone's house to watch porn onetime, maybe two, but FOUR? If this was my son, I'd sit his ass down and give him a lecture. I'd say, "Boy, pony up and buy your
own damn porn and hide it, like every other red-blooded American male. A DVD is about $20, and that's a hell of a lot cheaper than going to
court for two counts of burgulary and one count of grand theft!"

Speaking o'the offspring, yesterday was Female Offspring #1's first day in her new internship. Mr. G and I were laying on the bed having "quality time," and I said, "I'm still worried about that guy she's staying with.
She assured me he was a "friend of a friend," but how well does the first friend know the second friend? And how well does FO#1 know the first friend?"
Mr. G said, "Let's call her and find out how her day went." That's parental speak for "let's get the lowdown on this guy."
I said, "Ok, but BE DISCREET!! I don't want her to know we're worried about this guy."
He gets her on the phone and says, "Sooooo, how was your first day of work?" Then I hear, "Uh huh.....uh huh....that's good. How much do you know about this guy you're staying with?"
Oy.
And then, "well, you tell him that if he doesn't take good care of my daughter, I'm going to kick his ass."
Yeah, I'm guessing she had no idea as to why we really called.....

10 comments:

BBC said...

Hey, keep your hands off of my porn, um, I mean, art.

Lin said...

Hey, Goddess, I say good on Mr. G. for getting that concern right out into real time for her. Deep down, she's probably thrilled to be able to verbatim quote dear old dad if someone needs a good threatening. Sure worked for me!

*Goddess* said...

You're probably right, Lin. Lord knows I'd be thrilled if my dad ever stuck up for me.

bugs said...

Deepdiscounts.com has better watch out, or they're going to get sued for releasing the books before the official release date.

I'm 200+ something on the list at the library and I might as well just buy the damn book because I know the more I try to avoid it I'm going to get my ass spoiled.

*Goddess* said...

They are talking about suing deepdiscounts.

And yeah, you better buy it because there are already spoiler sites, according to Headline News this afternoon. But I missed them because I'm not a Potter fan, but curious. I wouldn't blab though, I don't want to ruin it for anyone else.

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Daddy is only looking out for his baby, she knows that. Let's hope her flat-mate does!

BBC said...

You didn't lose your car keys, you lost your mind, the keys are where you put them.

The Enforcer said...

Three Cheers for Mr. G, I'd have handled it the exact same way!!!

Fathairybastard said...

Can't make myself give a damn about Harry, and that story about the kid braking in to surf porn... hilarious! What an idiot. And your hubby knows a few things. Good one.

*Goddess* said...

No, BBC. My mind--what's left of it--is right where I left it, too.