Friday, June 15, 2007

life is interesting, don't cha find it?

Alex sent me this link.
I found the whole situation rather interesting for several reasons. I think one of the most painful things a mother or father has to endure is finding out her/his child has been paying them lip service to their face, then kvetching about them on the internet. Yet most of us who have lived through life with a teenager has had to deal with this in one form or another. I know I have, and it really hurts. You feel betrayed. The whole "I've done EVERYTHING for this child, and this is how they repay me?" martyr routine runs through your head. The only thing that stopped me from acting like a complete idiot and confronting my daughter was being honest with myself and reminding myself that I don't always speak/think about my offspring in the highest regard either, so I have to be prepared for them to respond the same way towards me.
That having been said, I'm curious as to how this mother not only found out about the online posing, but she knows the url to her daughter's blog and has read it. Sorry, but unless the daughter specifically sent her the url, that's no different than reading her personal diary.
I've made it clear that I don't want my offspring reading my journal, and I don't actively search for/read theirs.
(Why? See the aforementioned reason. Duh.) Privacy works both ways.
IF the daughter is proud of what she is doing as far as the posing is concerned, why is she hiding it from mom? There comes a point with your parents when you just have to face the music. When you realize that lying to them is denying yourself and you can't live that way for one minute longer. Yep, been there and done that, too. If she's sensing that maybe Mom and Dad would be disappointed in her, maybe that's coming from a personal disappointment in herself?
It's amazing to me how we put blinders on as far as our kids are concerned. I remember one time I was discussing a situation concerning Female Offspring #1 with Mike South, who has no kids...that he knows of. (LOL) He assured me that he was 100% positive she was reacting in a certain way to this situation and I was equally confident that there was NO WAY IN HELL my kid would do that. I heard myself saying those infamous words, "No MY daughter." Guess what? He was 100% right, and it hurt like hell to find that out. But it made me realize that I expected her to react to situations the same way I did, all the while not wanting her to react like me. I've always wanted her to be bolder, stronger, not afraid and not bound by guilt, but the minute I saw her responding differently, I felt betrayed. Again, I had to remind myself that she is not me, and shouldn't be expected to do as I do. I just expect her to live with her decisions.

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