Saturday, June 23, 2007

i just don't know where to find my happy

I drive me nuts. I have my car payment for next month, and ordinarily I'd be off until next Friday, yet I'm already stressing about my lack of income. I HATE that so much of my self-esteem is tied up into bringing money into the house. I could actually ENJOY this time off. I've been praying for guidance and a clear sign as to what I'm supposed to do. Last night when I was praying, I clearly heard, "move on," so I've posted an ad a couple places already, just to see what's available in my field. Not that I have a field. [Sounded really professional for a minute there, huh?]
As is my usual practice, I make goal collages from time to time, so I'm always snipping out quotes or phrases to use on my posters. Yesterday I was cleaning the bedroom and as usual, I was "discussing" my job situation with God because Holly got bored with the whole conversation and fell asleep. Anywho, I was telling God that I feel I've worked my way into a mess. I want to earn a LOT of money, but I'm in a job that doesn't allow me to do that. And when I say "a LOT," I'm talking $25-30k by myself. I'm sure that's not a lot to many people, but I don't think I've ever earned more than $12k in a year's time. I don't want to change careers at age 48 cuz quite frankly, what the hell would I do? I don't have the moola to go to school so I feel like my options are really limited. [But I don't want to limit myself by saying things like this!!] So I kept telling myself, "I just KNOW that something GOOD is going to happen concerning my job situation." I was dusting and cleaning to keep busy, and there along the edge of my bed frame was a snippet I'd cut out of a magazine that simply said, "Get Published." Easy for You to say, Jesus. Easy for You to say. Sigh. I know that God has ALWAYS taken care of us financially, and that He'll continue to do so, it's just that I'm human and when things don't happen in MY time, I get scared.

I'm also very worried about my boss. Not only does she have pneumonia, but she has a blockage in her colon and might have to have surgery today, and I'm greatly concerned for her. I've worked for her for five years, and I really care for her. Even though ya don't know her, keep a good thought for her, please.

Ok, on to stupid stuff now;)
We received a free wildlife calendar for 2008 in the mail yesterday. Mr. G handed it to me and said, "Now you won't have to buy any of those half naked cop calenders next year." And I said indulgently, "Honey, you're so funnnn-ee." I'm already trying to find new ones for '08. If anybody knows of any hott cop calendars, send me the info!

My first couch was made of a combination velvet/velour material. It held up FANTASTICALLY and cleaned really well, but was a bitch to lay on in the summer. I picked a different material this time and I hoped it was going to be cooler. Was I ever wrong. I laid down yesterday afternoon and when I woke up an hour later, my back and butt were sweating and sticking to the couch. Without thinking, I sat up quickly, and I think I ripped off a layer of skin. I don't know, maybe I should have allowed the delivery guys take the big plastic wrap off of it first.

"Excuse me, Officer, can you
give me directions to the nearest jail?" Oy. Bet Officer Matt Wood had his giggle on.

And now because I need something to make me smile and remember the "good old days..."


Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

"Maybe I should have asked the delivery guys to take the wrap off.." Haaaa!! You crack me up, girl! I know you've resserected more chapters than I can only dream of at this point, so it seems you already have a plan, and it's even been begun, don't give up on it, eh?

I'm sorry about your boss, I hope things work out well for her - it's great she has you in her corner, I'm sure a good friend is priceless to her right now. We all muddle through, bonny lass, it's what we do best. x

*Goddess* said...

Thanks, Carol;)