An article on MSN caught my eye this morning. It was called "Celebrity Slim Down Secrets." I thought, "Oh goodie. An article on vomiting, starvation and cocaine...."
Someone attempted to post a comment on my Hott Cops blog about men who shave off their eyebrows and paint them on being gay and added, "That's the rule!" Well, it DOES explain to me why I was all confused when I listened to a guy with a shaved head and painted on eyebrows on Yahoo singles gushing about finding the woman of his dreams. But now it has me wondering, what other rules the gays have? And what rules do hetero guys have? It occurs to me that IF they both had-- and strictly adhered to--rules, things would be much easier for chicks. They wouldn't have to guess as to a guy's sexuality. No more finding out he's gay after they've been married twenty years.
So with the last day of school looming large, I've decided to get a jump on arranging various summer camp activities for the offspring. The Y is offering lots of fun opportunities for the young'ens like "Seed Camp" where they plant flowers in front of the Y.
There's "Lawn Mowing Camp,"
where the kids learn about mowers and they cut the lawns in front of the Y. What fun! Who couldn't get into that idea?
Apparently the Y's paid landscapers.
But don't get too excited about the first couple of camps because there are several other fascinating options.
There's "Seed, Feed and Weed Camp" in which the young'ens plant the seeds, and the older kids feed them and weed the gardens.
Apparently the people in charge of the local Y don't concern themselves with pesky little things called "child labor laws". They just add the word "camp" to any sort of work their budgets won't cover, and presto! it's legit!
I'm going to try this at home. "Kids, tomorrow we'll all be attending 'Scrub the Mold From the Bathroom Grout Camp!' Yay!" Good times, good times. I'm sure it will provide many Kodak moments for the old summer vacation scrapbook.
Then there's "Seed, Weed, Feed and Design Your Own Scarecrow Camp," which is pretty self explanatory. And of course, the ever popular, "Grow Your Own Marijuana Plants At Home In The Closet Camp." There's a several year waiting list for that camp. I know cuz I attended three times myself.
I also enjoyed "Bartles and James Cooking Camp" in which we tried different recipes using wine coolers. Stacey, you would have loved it! From there, we were taken straight to "Breathalyzer Camp." When I saw the camp options the Y was offering, I almost relented and let the offspring stay home. But then I remembered a little class I wanted to take last year called "Cookies From Around the World," and I recalled that NO ONE wanted to attend with me, and well, intense bitterness caused me to sign them up for every friggin' camp I could find.
For breakfast Saturday morning I ate an English muffin. I know it was English because right before I bit into it, it said, "I say old chap, you look like a nice enough bloke, please don't eat me because I--" and I have no idea what he said after that because I was too busy eating him. That's what the idiot muffin gets for not realizing I'm a chick, not a bloke.
I dreamt in novel/movie form Friday night, something I'm doing more often as of late. It's like I'm viewing scenes from a romance novel laid out in movie form and I'm watching it unfold. The "story" was so strong in my head when I woke up, that it was interfering with the novel I was reading during the day. I keep thinking "What is Angela going to do next?" and then I'd think, "Oh, wait. She was from my dream Friday night, not from this book."
Top off that glass of whine, for you, Goddess? Why soiently!
Hardly anyone updated Saturday afternoon. So I was sitting at work
thinking, "Come on, come on. Somebody update so I have something to read. I don't care if you have an intense vaginal itch. Just talk about it, damn it, so I can read about it!"
I felt bad for Boss #2 yesterday. Boss #1 informed my co-worker at the START of her four day shift on Friday night that she was going to lose her job. I think she should have done it at the END of her Monday night shift, because she was a total wanker all evening. Boss #2 doesn't say boo from bad, so said co-worker pushes her around. I told my boss that if she starts giving her a hard time to remind her that she IS being paid to work this weekend, and if she doesn't want to, my boss can call someone else to come out and finish the weekend for her. She's trying to get my boss to do what little bit of work she has left. THEN she had the balls to say to me yesterday, "They should have given me a two week notice." Why? So she could be a wanker for two weeks instead of one? Unappreciative to the very end.