Saturday, May 05, 2007

too much information

"Hi ho! Hi ho! It's out to weed I go...."
Alex has informed me that today is World Naked Gardening Day. Oh HELL no!
Coincidentally, I think it's also Keep All Your Curtains Drawn Day. Ok, it's not, but it *should* be!

Yesterday I had the JOY of watching my niece's son. He is four years old and so incredibly...let's can I put this so it has a positive spin to it? He's so inquisitive! Our conversation went a little bit like this....
Cody: "What's your dog's name?"
Me: "Holly."
Cody: "Why?"
Me: "Because we got her close to Christmas time. I thought it would be nice."
Cody: "Why?"
Me: "Because people use Holly to decorate at Christmas."
Cody: "Why?"
Me: "Because they're crazy and they have nothing better to do!!!! Hey, how about we watch a DVD?" (Notice how cleverly I changed the subject.)
Cody: "I want to watch Ed, Edd and Eddy."
Me: "I don't have that on DVD."
Cody: "Why?"
Me: "I don't buy a lot of DVD's. I rent them if I want to see something."
Cody: "Why?"
Me: "Because I made lousy choices in life and now I'm poor! Okay, are you happy now? I freaking CAN'T AFFORD Ed, Edd and Eddy on DVD!"
*cue crickets*
Me: "Hey, how about a sandwich?" (Yet another clever diversionary tactic.)
Cody: "I want peanut butter and jelly."
Me: "Ohh, sorry, honey, I don't have peanut butter."
Cody: "Can we go to the store and get some?"
Me: "I can't. I don't have any money in the house."
Cody: "Why?"
No way was I going into that 'poor choices' thing again.
Me: "We like to make our own peanut butter. Here's a handful of peanuts and two slices of bread. Knock yourself out, kid."


Mushy said...

Okay...I'm gonna sue! The dude in the hat in the pix 3rd from the left is me! Damnit! Who gave them permission to post that...they said no body would ever know!

Anonymous said...

And when I say, "Knock yourself out, kid," I mean literally. Now, hop to it! Auntie needs a break from your Spanish inquisition.



*Goddess* said...

I commend you on your strategic use of flowers, Mushy;)

"Spanish Inquisition"...dang, does that ever sum up the mood perfectly!

Shrink wrapped scream said...

Aw, I'm gonna use that one-liner, I just know it! Cheers for that..