Thursday, May 10, 2007

right now he's probably dancing with a bleach blonde tramps

I thought I'd take a few minutes to update while the offspring are playing an exciting game of "Grounded For Life." What's "Grounded For Life" you ask? (You know you wanted to ask.)
That's the game in which I sit down with my laptop and my flask of whiskey, and inform the offspring that the first person to bother me gets "Grounded for Life."

I seriously have to question the intelligence of terrorists who decide to go to a military base and shoot soldiers. I guess no one informed them that the soldiers have guns and THEY KNOW HOW TO USE THEM.

I saw a commercial for the drug Humira today. Humira is a pill for rheumatoid arthritis. So the drug company does it's usual spiel of making their pill look magical and life changing, and then the voice of the annoucer lowers and speeds up as he runs through about 10 of the more serious side effects, a few of which were infections, pneumonia, rashes and TUBERCULOSIS. Then the chick says, "Tell your doctor you want Humira. The Sooner, The Better."
Yeah, because if you're diligent start taking Humira right now, you might luck out and have rip roarin' case of tuberculosis by Fall.
I'm seriously worried about my dad's health. The doctor put him on 80 mgs. of lasix because he was retaining water due to chronic heart failure. This, in turn, caused his insulin levels to shoot through the roof and his b.s. is now 360. NOW the doctor is giving him insulin shots to bring down the high blood sugar caused by the lasix pills. It seems like once you get on that merry-go-round of pills, you can never get off, doesn't it?

Paris Hilton is encouraging people to "sihn" her "nline" petition to keep her out of jail. Hmm, where's the petition to get her life with no chance of us having to see her mug on tv again?
Hmm, speaking of Paris, methinks she did the smart thing re-hiring her publicist because suddenly she's saying she would be devestated if anyone died while she was driving drunk and that she's ready to face the consequences of her actions. Somebody sat her ass down and had a good conversation with her. I'm thinking the fact that the public is not sympathetic with her spoiled brat antics was at the top of the list.

It's absolutely AMAZING what technology can do now. I'm also sensing we're not "safe" anywhere....
A ten-year-old Pennsylvania boy is recovering from heart transplant surgery that might not have happened without global positioning technology.State police say they were asked to track down John Paul May on Saturday, after officials at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh couldn't find him to notify him that a donor heart was available.When all else failed, the police contacted the cell phone company used by the boy's mother. The company used global tracking on her phone to find them at a jazz concert at Slippery Rock University. Police say the tracking technology is usually available only through a court order, though they are allowed to use it in certain life-or-death situations. Doctors say the transplant was successful. The boy is in critical but stable condition. See??? Had this kid been wearing one of my Junior GPS'ers™ the hospital would have found him instantly!

I was reading a "women's magazine" yesterday and they had an advertisement for a "curved curtain rod." The advert read, "Great gift idea for the person who has everything."
Two things instantly ran through my mind: A. if they have "everything," then they'd already have this and B. I wonder if I have any old chocolate in the bottom of my purse....

My husband and I have been having a rather difficult time lately. The people who read my page regularly (Hi, Bugs! Hi, two others...) know that my father-in-law passed away last year. His mother is in her 80's and on her own. From the time we met, his mother tried to break us up, so obviously our relationship--if you want to call it that--is "strained". Thankfully, Mr. G put his foot down right after we were married and he told her that he was married now and I came first. After a few turbulent years, things settled down. Now that his father is dead, Mr. G is pretty much doing every damn thing under the sun for her. And the more he does, the more she wants him to do. Now I know she's on her own and lonely, but it's like I told him the other day, guess what? When you're spending all your time with your mother, *I'M* alone. Why is *that* acceptable? Our time is limited as it is because I don't get home from work until 6 and he's in bed by 8. We have two Sundays of the month when we're off together and lately on those days, he's been taking his mother shopping. The two Sundays I'm at work, he's home all day. I've been growing more and more resentful of this situation and finally we had it out on Wednesday, then we discussed it more calmly on Thursday. The truth is that we're traveling in unchartered waters. We've never had to face this and quite frankly, it was my worst nightmare as far as his parents were concerned. I know how his mother is. He gets stressed because his mother is so demanding and he then pushes ME away. She calls him all the time and he hates to talk on the phone. I just feel like he's taking his frustrations out on me. I know his thinking, that when his mother passes, he doesn't want any guilt feelings of not doing all that he could for her, and I commend him for that. But in the meantime, our marriage is the thing that's suffering. I'm angry that his lazy ass, "I'm so po' I can hardly pay my bills" sister is going on cruises and shopping trips to the Mall of America and dirt biking every week while he's doing every farking thing that needs to be done for his mother. And now his nephew is saying he can't cut her grass anymore because he's "too busy," so that's another four hours a week that my husband has to devote to her. I told him I don't give a damn what he does for her when I'm working, but I INSIST he tells her that when I'm off those two Sundays a month, he is NOT available to take her anywhere. I told him if he did that for me, I'd get off his back about the rest of it.
He THINKS he's doing what's best for everyone, but I FEEL he's trying to please her at my expense. I know it's a difficult situation for everyone involved, and he refuses to call his sister because he said she'll tell him she's going to do something, then just keeps putting it off and putting it off. Rest assured when his mother passes, his sister will be the first one with her hand out. Soooooo, the last couple days in Goddessville? Not so fun.


Mushy said...

On top of your other've been tagged!

*Goddess* said...

Hmmm, what means this "tagged" of which you speak?

Shrink wrapped scream said...

Christ, I hated my mother in law (God rest her soul). The first time I met her, she trailed me to the loo, and asked, "I do hope you're not going to prevent him from still seeing Trisha, are you? She's a second daughter to us, you know" (They'd split up 2 years before we met.)

When I needed to compile a medical backround for Sam's records, her stunning one-liner was, "Well dear, there is nothing wrong on OUR side of the gene-pool".

Cheer up hon, the good news is, they do eventually die.