Tuesday, May 22, 2007

MEN! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

My husband really upset me last night. We were talking about the neighbors and I mentioned that I always had to talk to the husband first or he wouldn't bother to say anything to me. They moved in about a year and a half ago, and it's always been this way. Half the time it pisses me off, so I just act like I don't see him.

Mr. G said, "Maybe he just feels uncomfortable talking to you." Gee, thanks. I said, "Why would he feel uncomfortable talking to ME? I'm not a freaking cyclops, for Pete's sake! His wife doesn't have any problem talking to me. And his wife doesn't have any problem talking to you." Then he just gave me the old "I don't know" line of bullshit and walked away. That totally hurt my feelings, though. I don't usually have problems talking to guys, but Mr. G insists that some men do have problems talking to women. Hell, I'm not interested in dating the nitwit, just a simple "hello, how's it going?" now and then. I don't think it's too much to ask. So from now on, the dude is dead to me. LOL! Ok, that's drastic, I admit, but it hurt my feelings damn it!

8 comments:

Chewy said...

I'll give you my neighbor. I like the guy, he is a great help with my garden. But he rambles on and on and on... repeating himself over and over and over. When I attempt to break away he follows me down the sidewalk, still talking.

*Goddess* said...

At least he talks to ya! LOL....

He sounds like the lady I used to live next to when I first got married. Every time I came out of our apartment, she'd come running over to talk. Got to the point where I'd wait till dark to go out for my mail;)

Alvin said...

He may be shy, or it could be that he is attracted to you so that he is afraid of initiating conversation and then being either frustrated or not frustrated by what does or doesn't transpire. He could be shy AND attracted to you, which would tend to accentuate the above stated issues and could also raise other issues for him. Maybe you're so focused on what YOU'RE feeling that you can't imagine what might be going on inside of him. Or could it be that all of this is just not as big a deal as you currently consider it to be? People are different from each other and sometimes have very different perceptions, expectations, and ways of communicating, so that if you shared with this man how you experience him, he might have no clue as to what you're talking about!

*Goddess* said...

Alvin, you are such a man! LOL!

No, you're right, it's true. Women tend to internalize EVERYTHING, so if someone isn't talking to me it MUST BE my fault.

It's only an issue for me because we've gotten along well with all of our neighbors except the couple who lived there before, and that was a nightmare. They were jerks from the start and we vowed to get along with these people no matter what. Well, that's going great for Mr. G but not me! Whaaaaa!

Anonymous said...

Two words: Social Anxiety. It's real disorder that typically starts out as shyness but worsens with age as kids who judge morph into adults who judge and compete. Shy people are afraid of being judged for even the smallest thing. They don't like people even looking at us out of the corners of their eyes.

Do you notice he doesn't make eye contact with you after he initially sees you? If he goes out of his way to be silent and not look at you, he's got social anxiety. Ask his wife to confirm this.

I also have it, but to a much lesser degree. It's the reason I always feel stupid in dress up clothes or in make-up. I feel like a clown and that people (other women mostly) laugh at me behind my back and cut up everything I say and do. Working in an office is like torture. I can't do it. I did it for a short time, and I hated every second of it. I perfer a uniform where we all look the same. Can't judge someone who's dressed just like you, now can you? I practically live online now.

Stacey

*Goddess* said...

*Mentally* I know that not everyone is comfortable talking to the opposite sex, or even their own sex, but when my husband said the neighbor might be "uncomfortable" talking to me, I HEARD "he gets along with me, this must be your fault." Yes, the ever popular "internalization" rears it's uglee head.

And no, he doesn't make eye contact with me after he sees me initially. He tries to pretend he's busy with something that requires his complete concentration;)

Anonymous said...

Best to let him be, to stew in his own insecurities. Who needs that kind of aggravation? Just half wave to him if you have to acknowledge him at all. Don't approach or engage him in chit chat. He probably would rather have a root canal than be social to anyone other than his own circle.

Stacey

*Goddess* said...

Damn. It's that bad? How do you get in someone's circle if that's the case? Geez, look at me, STILL trying to "fix it". UGH!!