Friday, May 25, 2007

lets get it started

I can't believe I'm getting hits from a forum in BELGIUM concerning
Trooper Moss and Barbie Cummings' little escapade. And BOSNIA. Don't they have their own problems going on there?
Unbelievable that this story has made
it around the world when there are so many IMPORTANT things happening we never hear about.
The story seems to be bigger now than when it first broke.
Why is everyone so fascinated with it? The two most searched stories on my blog has been this one and the one in which the police chief's wife had a porn site.
Both involved cops and both involved porn. Coinkydink?

Because you know I'm totally committed to my dog's health, I decided to dump the processed dry dog food and make my own food for her.
I wanted to know what I was putting into her body...........unlike my own body.
So yesterday morning I whipped her up some eggs, tossed in some veggies and added browned ground turkey.
Took me 45 minutes. You know how I feel about work, so tomorrow she's getting a big bowl of Count Chocula. Yum!

I have decided that I am the "peace maker" in my relationships, and I don't know why. I HATE IT when
people fight, even people I don't know. I find myself trying to smooth the waters between people
on forums I frequent, trying to get them to laugh about the whole situation, to see the humor in it. It's weird. Why do I care when strangers fight? It has nothing to do with me. It's not like I was the child of an alcoholic or anything like that. My dad was LOUD and big, and when he got mad, I did hate that.
My parents rarely fought, but when they did, it upset me tremendously. People like Dr. Phil say you should never fight in front of your children. I know knock down drag outs are a no no, but NEVER fighting makes things so much harder when a fight is overheard. It leaves you unprepared and insecure.
When my dad retired, my parents fought so much, I'd be almost sick to my stomach and I was 18 years old at the time. I know that most of it stemmed from the fact that dad was suddenly "underfoot" 24 hours a day, but I honestly worried they'd get a divorce.
Then as the fighting continued, I PRAYED they'd get a divorce. Oy. Things seemed to settle down once Mom realized Dad wasn't going anywhere and she'd had to get used to him being around. That basically consisted of giving him enough "busy work"
for the entire day. Anyway, the reason all of this came up is that last night we were having problems shutting off our oven fan. Mr. G told me he was having problems pushing the off button, but it was so tremendously hot while I was cooking that I never even gave that a thought. He responded to the situation the way he always does when something needs fixed: he gets angry and starts swearing and slamming stuff, bitching about how he can never find something when he needs it. And all the while I'M the one looking for it while he stands there swearing.
My guess is this is all borne of his frustration because he's not mechanically or
electronically inclined, but the minute he starts doing that, I start placating, my stomach starts churning and I get mad at myself when I hear myself.
Sometimes I tell him to grow up, but always there's that upset stomach feeling until it's over. However, if someone angers me enough, and I feel they've pushed me passed the point of no return, I can tell them to f off with a clear conscience, and forget their very existence, and sadly I've had to do so once or twice.
Oh, and the fan he was yelling about having to call an electrician to turn off? Turns out the damn thing had a plug and when I yanked it, the problem was solved.

4 comments:

Mushy said...

The wife and I haven't YET had too much trouble since retiring, but as of now we do some things separately, which gives us time along or with the same sex.

Truth is, we like each other pretty much, so that helps.

We promised each other a few years back that if we did split, that we would still live in the house together - we ain't goin' no where!

Anonymous said...

Your extreme discomfort at yelling and upset feelings is natural for someone who strives for harmony 100% of the time. I do the same but without the stomach pains because I have a short fuse and I'm more apt to tell you to shut the fuck up or walk away from you while it's going on. I just don't like being around that shit if it doesn't involved me. But when it does involve me directly, I like to remain calm till the storm of yelling ends then either ignore the yelling while helping to solve the problem. I find it's healthier to let the person who needs to vent do so and then get it all out. I used to bottle my every emotion and served one purpose only: to make me an emotional cripple. Now I'm far more assertive with certain people and with others I just ignore it because, going back to your post about the neighbour, it's not about you or me -- it's about them and their frustration. I refuse to own their feelings unless I caused it directly.

Stacey

*Goddess* said...

That's what my husband says to me, that I should just let him get it out, but I'm always so busy trying to keep the peace! When we first got married, he would blow up at my mother and move on, but my mother doesn't move on, she hangs on, so I would keep telling him to ignore stuff and what I'm finding is that now he'll blow up at her about stupid shit. Then he'll say, "You should have just let me confront her when I wanted to." In theory, I know he's right, but I hate being in the middle.

*Goddess* said...

Mushy, you talked about IF you did split?! Wow. That's proactive;)