Thursday, May 17, 2007

i'm just an old chunk of coal, but i'm gonna be a diamond some day

Only three more days till my birthday, kids. I certainly won't tell you what to buy, as long as you follow these two "recommendations": make sure the gift is (at least!) double digits and spendable...

Did you read the story about the man from Japan who left his 3 year old son in an anonymous drop box for babies? That's a horrible thing to do to your child. If you can't care for your child, at least have the compassion to turn him over to the proper authorities and not just leave him behind like so much garbage. That's awful.

Oooooooo, BIG goings on in the trailer court last night!! Lurlene's daughter was hauled away for--of all things--THEFT! Ya know it's a pretty sad day when ya can't teach your kids to steal properly. Anywho, the cops showed up and I ran outside so I could be a LOOKY LOO! A RUBBERNECKER! A NOSY BEOTCH!
I've always wanted to experience what my neighbors have been experiencing since I moved my brood into da court, and guess what? It felt damn good. Especially when the cops were dragging off somebody else's kid for a change. For once, I didn't have to lie and scream, "It's all a big mistake! My kid's innocent!" It unfolded just like a segment on COPS. They dragged Lurlene Jr out of the trailer kicking, screaming, and cursing like a sexually frustrated, financially bankrupt sailor with no money to spend on willing whores. The only thing missing was Lurlene Jr spreading her legs and showing her underwear..........because she wasn't wearing any.
And may I just say, somebody needs to take a weed wacker to that bush.
If it keeps growing at the current rate, even a good strong herbcide won't be capable of stunting it's growth. Oh, and the brunette carpets do not match the blonde curtains.

I think I'm going to start a romance novel review page on my main site. Lord knows I read enough of them, but I'm going to write HONEST reviews. If I don't like something, I'm gonna say so, like I usually do when I write reviews.
Most review sites get their books for free, so they manage to say SOMETHING nice about every book. Screw that. I get disgusted when I spend
my hard earned money on something that sucks because I was totally misled. But since I'm buying (or borrowing) my own books, I am free to tell the truth.
And since I just borrowed 26 romance novels from the library yesterday, I think now might be a good time to start writing reviews. Besides, often times the only place I can find a summation of the novel's plot is on the author's site, so this will be a page where people can check out the novel's synopsis.

One of G4's video viewer questions was "where's the best place to hide porn?"
I find the best place to hide my porn is right next to the tv, so I can find it when I want it. Write things on the DVDs like "Aunt Judy Gives Birth DVD #3--Losing the Mucus Plug," "Grandma's Life Lessons," "The Proper Way To Clean The Lint From Your Belly Button" or "Cousin Milton's Circumcision--The Colorized Version."
That'll keep the kids from looking at them. Gotta watch with that belly button lint DVD. Some kids get curious.
So where do you hide YOUR porn?

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