Sunday, April 15, 2007

hee haw! it's sunday!

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his firstwitness, a grandmother, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet
voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send
you to the electric chair."

3 comments:

Shrink wrapped scream said...

Yup - worked for me! Laughed out loud, thanks for that, needed it, after all that loo-scrubbing. xx

*Goddess* said...

Dang. Wish I would have been in contact with you when I was reading more of the Mills & Boon romance novels that were set overseas, SWS. There used to be words that totally had me stumped...LOL! Loo and flat I know, but some of them had me scratching my head;)

BRUNO said...

No need to waste time with the "swearing-in"!

I wonder if they ever got around to the actual person's case on trial??? I think "Da Judge" had better throw this one OUT!

(I know it was only a joke! But once I flush the loo, it's all downhill from there!)